Doctor Who-Lose Lose (Fanfic)




Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all characters are trademarked by the BBC.



The amount of civilians flooding into Heathrow airport was the last thing on Elliot Peterson’s mind as air traffic control began urging him to make his way outside

A fleet’s worth of police had arrived.

Given all that was going on at Heathrow, with 228 flights cancelled and over 100,000 passengers stranded and left in a variety of unpredictable emotional states, he wasn’t surprised at such a development, and he knew he had to assure most of the huddled masses of humanity not to be start feeling terribly uneasy about developments

He made the decision to instruct the people who ran the intercoms to inform the passengers of the abundance of enforcers while he went out and dealt with the heart of the matter.

He went through the doors leading to the exits of the airport and met with the first officer approaching the structure.

“Detective Seb Culbertson”

“Eliot Peterson. Traffic control. What can I do for you?” said Peterson

“We’re here because of the miscommunication with the control glitch, you should be right on top of it considering it’s a blunder within your department” said Culbertson.

“I can read people very thoroughly, as much as security here is warranted at this time, having as many as you have out here does feel a bit excessive” said Peterson.

Seb was impressed by the observational sharpness of his accuser.

“Look, this is looking on record to be the worst on record for the airport in terms of traffic scuffles, there’s already problems at London City, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Bristol, delays ranging from 1,300 flights…”

“I’m all too aware of my own problems, you don’t want a teeming army such as this barging into the airport, and you’ll frighten the passengers. As much as we’re going to try and calm things with them, I would appreciate it if you…you know, just sort of eased your way into the building…now cut the commotion and tell me point blank who you’re looking for”

“You that confident it’s someone we’re searching for?”

“Terrorist. Jewel thief. Something exotic I’m sure” replied Peterson jokingly.

Seb was keen to inform him this was no laughing matter

“Justin Lent. Responsible for four heists in the last week or so. One of which was alien tech. hasn’t shed any bloodshed, but the rag tag outfits he employs had no concerns pulling triggers”

“Talk about your word being your Bond…this truly is exotic, next thing you’ll be telling me everything going on in there is the result of espionage” replied Peterson.

Dwight’s stony expression didn’t change

“I think I best let you in” said Peterson, immediately understanding

As the police teemed in, one small unit every ten or so minutes, Peterson directed them across the left and right corners of the airport, covering the major exit ports.

Seb raised his hands up in the air

“Let it be known for the record. I surrender” he said

“What do you mean?” Peterson asked

Seb snapped his fingers. The police around him began looking dazed, unsure of their surroundings; some were asking what they were doing here

Seb suddenly reached into his coat and pulled out an automatic. Swiftly, he set it off, immense firepower ringing through the air.

He began to run towards the escalators and up through the upper floor, the small army of officers panicked and began ordering everyone to duck and cover.

Peterson couldn’t comprehend what was going on, and before he could find a way to intercept Seb, he was pinned down by the officers as they scrambled to assert control.

Dwight ran towards one of the terminals, shoving his way through the corridor leading to the exit ports which in turn led outside to the airstrip. Some angered passengers were trying to grab hold of him just to give him a piece of their mind for being so rude as to try and breeze through them like they were revolving doors.

Seb knocked some down as he carelessly shot down the corridor and nudged more people to the side in his mad bid to part a sea of citizens, some tried tripping him up as the police intercepted him, telling the public to hit the ground as they opened fire themselves, but Seb had managed to reach the exit terminal and had shot out of the building onto the airport’s landing strips.

Outside he spotted a sleek black and silver stripped private carrier perched perfectly, a tall woman in stiletto high heels with and a long purple petticoat held up a sign reading simply “Justin Lent”

“Timing” Seb said as he and the woman boarded the plane. “Lousy. Timing”

The armed officers poured out onto the strip, only to be greeted by the sight of the plane not exactly taking off, but gradually shimmering in and out of visual recognition, an electronic hissing noise trailing off of a wheezing groaning sound.


On board the plane, now in flight within the time/space vortex, Seb ordered himself a drink provided to him by one of the plane’s air hostesses

“You weren’t supposed to collect me this blasted early” Seb said as he took one shot of the drink, tequila

The woman in the glowing petticoat manicured her nails and tucked into some freshly served caviar, “The timing was ideal. Two people vanished this day. Justin Lent and Seb Culbertson”

Seb out a small handheld device and a handkerchief containing a small figure, a miniaturized figure, a figure that was the exact double of him

The real Seb Culbertson.

“How did your last incarnation die?” asked the woman

“Took one in the back on the gang’s last heist. He cornered me in an alley, but not before I got him back” Seb said, “Then I regenerated, but, as is sometimes the case with how fate flirts with our features, how about you?”

The woman gave a playful smile, “I had an eating disorder”

“I took on Culbertson face. I was able to assume his role in the police but I was attracting a lot of suspicion by not exactly acting in-character, its sheer luck I wasn’t caught out. Then I got your video messages. You interrupted three successive training seminars I was giving some rookies with your hocus-pocus intruding on the television screens. Good thing only I could see it”

“So why did you bring a whole fleet of police?” asked the woman, taking the napkin that contained the shrunken corpse of Seb and dabbing it on her mouth to remove the caviar stains around it.

“And that takes us back to lousy timing” Seb replied, “You selected the age of the worst airport disaster in recent memory, I had no choice but to take that percentage out with me in order to cause the most amount of fuss from the percentage of the public that wouldn’t take to being ordered around, leave them with distraction after distraction, and leave the remaining percentage that did pursue me and bore witness to my escape to become maddening truthers for the rest of their miserable days. I had to blow my cover because at the end of the day the manhunt for Lent…the manhunt for me… would have proven fruitless and it’d have given everyone who suspected I wasn’t quite myself on the force the perfect ammunition to investigate me. It was lose-lose really. And I still consider going home a loss after all the effort I put into establishing a comfy nest. I do hate to fly the coup”

Seb stared out at the stormy vortex, lightning bolts dancing and dicing with one another

“What exactly did you want with this anyway?” Seb replied, holding up a pocket device, one of his more recent ‘acquisitions’, “It’s the messier and more literal kind of tissue compression eliminator, all it can do is grind every molecule into dust”

“They’re old-fashioned. I’m very much that these days” the woman replied

“Yes, I don’t think there’s that many of us on Gallifrey left that prefers taking on the form you have, far less masculine” he said, suddenly feeling compelled began to blink a bit more rapidly. For some reason, he felt something wriggle across his gaze.

Suddenly, his head shot backwards, then forwards, he heard a sharp ringing tear through his ears, he reached out for both ears with his hand and shook back and forth, his eyes widened, the pupils began to spin around rapidly, small tendrils formed where his eyelashes were and gradually the eye socket lost all trace it’s flesh -like substance and turned grey.

Seb tried to scream, but found his vocals charred and blistering, the tinge of iron fluid drowning his interiors.

His left and right pupils delicately popped out of their sockets and, blood coursed from the now empty pours, and they marched across Seb’s shoulders and onto the shoulders of the woman, who stretched out her hands to greet them

“I’m sorry Kaldorf” she said, addressing the time lord by his real identity “If not for you I would not have acquired either the Data Slice, there were no grand days out for the pair of us beyond that little adventure back home ” the woman replied, before she got up and walked over to one of the flight attendants.

“Afraid your days traveling with me are up, I need to replace your avatar in the memory space with a simulation of poor Kaldorf instead, I’m sure he’ll appreciate being a key master to my gatekeeper…I do hope he’s seen that movie and gets the reference. Never mind dear, if it’s consolation, I’ll get the silver giants I’m working with to practice your safety routine, it’s the liveliest thing they’ll ever do given what’s to follow…you do understand don’t you pet?”

The attendant nodded, the woman noticed a small tear coming down her eye, and the woman hovered around her with the pocket device.

“Ah yes, I forgot, you were a real attendant in your original life weren’t you? All that longing the serene and simpler day-glow day job, the opportunities to fly all over the world, all those hopes and pleasantries packed up inside you like a school lunch your mammy put together, you want to cling on to that purpose that I pried away from you so badly, well…I’ll give you a shot at it hen, just say something nice

The attendant looked into the woman with a shaken expression, but remained resolutely silent; she couldn’t say anything even if she wanted to.

For the woman was her mistress. And she would obey her.

Obey her to the end

The device was triggered, and the attendant crumbled to dust.