JEOPARDY ON THE M-1
Written by Zarius
Disclaimer: Dangemouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC
It’s on fire.
A great fire indeed.
A great fire…of LONDON.
I’m paid to be this dramatic.
A new fangled super tank, a gift to the militaristic “men of mice” regiment in service to her majesty’s external defence network, with an impenetrable control dome shaped in the form of a mouse’s head, and christened the M-1, has been appropriated by that tyrant of a toad Baron Greenback, and is being piloted by the nefarious Snowman, and he is unleashing it’s unique and lethally irritable firepower on any monument that falls upon it’s targeting mechanisms.
Why the Snowman and not someone like, say, Stiletto?
Because it’s December, Snowman has offered up a discount price on his services as a principle antagonist.
It’s a winter sale.
I don’t write these puns, I just throw that out there.
But opposing the warpath of the M-1 is the world’s greatest road block, at the helm of the Mark Three as it darts across the sky is the world’s most insecure sidekick Penfold, and at his side, the ever-confident, ever cool, forever renowned…Jeopardy Mouse.
Hey, wait a second, my script said DANGERMOUSE a couple of rehearsals ago. Jeopardy, what is the meaning of this?
“DM’s locked up in bed. He has the sniffles”
Ah right, my apologies Penfold. Shall we cut away to him then?
“Best not to disturb him, he’ll just play up to the cameras”
This isn’t exactly a visual story Penfold.
“Oh it’s not? Well, he might put in a bit of an over dramatic word then if he hears us rambling”
“Penfold, I need you to take the wheel” said Jeopardy as she disembarked from the car in mid-flight, Penfold franticly scrambled into the driver’s seat as Jeopardy made her way over to the bonnet of the vehicle
“What’s the plan Chiefette?” said Penfold as the Mark III steadily hurtled towards the terrifying tank
“Cheifette? Just call me boss, it helps keep things clear” said Jeopardy, “And the plan is to get close enough to attach this DNA locking device to the outer shell, I then place my palm on it, the DNA overrides the security lock, and we can get it and drive the Snowman to meltdown”
“Wait, how did Snowman even get in that thing?” said Penfold.
“It was during a lunch break, he poised as an ice cream refreshment” said Jeopardy.
“Oh” said Penfold
As the Mark Three rapidly approached its target, Jeopardy fired a grappling hook; it latched on to the exterior shell. She quickly jumped on to the grappling wire feet first and slid down it.
As soon as she landed, she approached the side of the control dome. However, from hatches encircling it, shot forth small alphabetical letters, that, when they clicked into place, formed a sentence.
Explosions were set up as soon as they formed the word.
Jeopardy thankfully was able to doge the blasts.
Penfold was almost not so fortunate, as the words assembled ‘Dangermouse’, the mark three pulled up just in time as the giant logo exploded.
“Crumbs, why did it form the name of the chief” Penfold spoke over the radio to Jeopardy.
“Must be the Men of Mice’s way of honouring DM with a customized explosive” said Jeopardy, “How I wish such an accolade could be bestowed on me, especially since I’m more of a pro”
Smaller letters continued to click into place, trigging cataclysmic explosions that were truly testing the patience and perseverance of the American agent, but she was able to gut the experience out. She took to summersaults, rolls, and ducking to avoid becoming soup to the alphabet.
Finally, she was able to latch the DNA lock on to the control dome and placed her hand on it. The dome glowed brightly, and the top of the dome sprang open.
Jeopardy clambered inside and confronted Snowman, only to find a puddle in the command seat.
“Must be a faulty air conditioner” she said, and scooped up the Snowman’s liquid state in a small glass.
“Jeopardy, are you ok?” Penfold said over the radio as Jeopardy brought the tank to a standstill.
“I’m fine Penfold, I’m just a little irritated that I’ve brought the day to a peaceful end and DM’s name still ended up lighting up the skies”
“Well if it helps any, I now know whatever DM will have to say, and it won’t make as much a dent in the room as those lethal letters did” said Penfold.
Jeopardy permitted herself a giggle.