A DAGGER TO HER MIND
WRITTEN BY ZARIUS
Disclaimer: Danger Mouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC
The world has just been granted a pardon.
Yes, you heard right, you do the crime, you do the time.
Even I, your humble narrator, found himself singing jailbird blues.
But nobody felt as low as the genius responsible for the planetary lockdown.
Professor Professor Squawkencluck, who, at this very moment, is in the midst of filing a report to the World’s Greatest Science Council.
“My fellow scientists, it is with deep regret that I report on the latest setback in project Days Off, the initiative set up to relieve the Danger Agency of unendurable stress levels and overworked hours. The cause of the setback was once again…once again…oh I can’t do it”
She closed the laptop.
The door to her lab slid open and Penfold, assistant to the greatest secret agent in the agency, Danger Mouse, arrived with toast and a cup of tea in each hand.
“And just what are you doing in here Penfold?” said an irritated Squawkencluck.
“I was wondering if you’d care for some bread and egg” Penfold said.
“I don’t see an egg” the Professor noted.
“I was hoping you’d help with that, you are a chicken after all” Penfold replied.
Squawencluck felt her blood levels rise; she got out of her seat and towered over the terrified hamster.
“Oh, I see, you haven’t quite come down from mount unpleasant” he observed, “Don’t worry Professor, I can relate”
“Oh you can?” Squawkencluck said in a snarky tone.
“Yeah, all that time in prison caused me to search my very soul” Penfold explained, ” It got me to open things up to the Chief that I hadn’t ever told anyone…about my great crime in days of my youth, like borrowing that pencil and never returning it…keeping it with me, like a dagger close to my chest. Oh how it crushed me, every day where I felt ever so slightly upbeat, I’d end up cursing my own enthusiasm because there was always that low point of my life beating as loudly as my heart.”
“But then Danger Mouse used the pencil to trap Big Head in a logistical trap , causing her to overload, explode, and liberate us…your particular pencil problem proved to be a dagger to her mind” Squawkencluck noted.
Penfold permitted himself a meek smile, “The Chief always knows how to relief me of my burdens, and he always teaches me an important lesson in using what mistakes we make in the past to create fresh solutions for the future”
“That’s something I’ve got to learn myself…I’ve been reluctant to tell the council about my latest failure with Big Head, but I realize if I don’t open up about it, we won’t learn how to correct the faults in the next model”
“The next model?” a flabbergasted Penfold asked, “You mean, after all this, you’re just going to rebuild her again?”
“I will not be frustrated by failure Penfold, I’ll keep working at Big Head until we’re finally able to keep her under control” a stubborn Squawkencluck insisted.
“Well, if anything I’m impressed at how much faith you have in yourself, especially with the way you acted once you were incarcerated” Penfold noted, recalling the rather depressing sight of Squwkencluck despairing at Big Head’s malfunction and tyrannical prison system, a system that had sapped the courage and willpower out of virtually all except Danger Mouse.
“I was thinking about my mum and dad the whole time, that’s why” Squawkencluck revealed, “If they knew their daughter had been locked away with all of the other petty filth that plagued this planet, the shock of that would have crushed them…then it got worse when I realized my parents were probably locked away for that incident with the garbage monster, you know the one”
“Oh yes” Penfold said, recalling when the Professor’s mother had transformed her own husband into a grimy, murky and monstrous being that had reduced most of London to literal waste.
“Never mind Professor” Penfold replied, trying to spin the conversation back towards a positive note, “Maybe learning nothing at all from your experiences somehow inspires you to aim for bigger and better solutions”
“You think so?” the Professor asked.
“Sure. Your mum wanted to turn your dad invisible the next time, that doesn’t seem like it’d harm anybody else and what else could Big Head do that could top incarcerating everyone and everything? How do you step it up from there? You’re itching to find out aren’t you? That’s what this agency demands of its members every day…raw ambition”
Squawkencluck knelt down and gave Penfold a big hug.
“You think so big for someone your size…do me a favour and never curse that enthusiasm of yours again” she said, squeezing him tightly.
“You got it…Squawky” Penfold said, grasping for air.
“Ok, only I call myself that, for that, you owe me the toast” she said, grabbing the toast off the plate, eating a portion of it, and tossing the crumbs into the bin.
“How about I go get you that egg? At least one out of the refrigerator” Squawkencluck offered. Penfold gleefully nodded, and, arm in arm, they exited the room and headed towards the Agency cafeteria.