God Turns The Faucet-A Short Play

 

GOD TURNS THE FAUCET

A SHORT PLAY

 

INT: MOTEL BEDROOM

(We start in PITCH BLACK. No light, no sound, except for maybe the flicking of a magazine, indicating someone is reading. There is a LOUD KNOCK on the DOOR)

VOICE (MALE):

It’s me

(We hear small but audible FOOTSTEPS as someone lost in the inky blackness opens the door, before they do so, they SWITCH ON THE LIGHT.

As the room LIGHTS UP, we find it is a MURKY, UNORGANIZED  MESS. A SOFA in the center of the room has visible SPRINGS sticking out of it, with several pieces of DRENCHED CLOTHING spread over the back of it.

The person answering the door, a FEMALE, EARLY TWENTIES,  HAIR IN  A PONYTAIL, WEARING A PINK T-SHIRT AND TORN JEANS, greets a YOUNG MALE, ROUGHLY THE SAME AGE, wearing a BRIGHT BLUE BLAZER and RED SHORTS, he is DRENCHED, it is raining heavily outside)

FEMALE:

I told you to take the trenchcoat, look at you, you’re soaking

MALE:

It’s not my fault God turned the faucet on  before I got back

FEMALE:

I watch the weather for a reason

MALE:

Did you get the tickets?

FEMALE:

I got the autographs too

MALE:

You haven’t been out of this room, how’s that possible?

FEMALE:

Shopped online for ‘em

MALE:

I thought you wanted to get autographs in person?

FEMALE:

Yeah but, like you said, God turned the faucet on.

MALE:

You’d rather spend time and money cheating yourself out of a live experience because you don’t want to get your hair wet?

FEMALE:

I was just going to shower

MALE:

One of the deals we made is that if I got the tickets, we’d try to make the most out of the day and find opportunities to make a statement back home. We would have our chance to brag for once.

FEMALE:

Yeah, well maybe I’m up for bragging on my own time.

MALE:

You’re impossible.

FEMALE:

That’s very possible

(The man sits on the edge of the bed)

MALE:

That bed’s creaking an awful lot

FEMALE:

Yeah, I mean, we haven’t even started on it yet

MALE:

Excuse me?

FEMALE:

What?

MALE

I didn’t quite hear you there

FEMALE:

Well then get hearing aids

MALE:

What haven’t we started?

FEMALE:

Sex

MALE:

You want to have sex?

FEMALE:

Not yet, I was thinking after

MALE:

That’s a problem

FEMALE:

How so?

MALE

 I’m your buddy

FEMALE

Yeah, you are, that’s why I want to do this

MALE

You can’t just ask a friend to have sex with you, what if…

FEMALE

Yeah, ‘What If’

MALE

Huh?

(she sits down on the bed beside him, she holds his hands tight)

FEMALE:

My mother used to tell me IF was the most powerful word in the English language….so many possibilities, so many options, some of the best feelings, some of your worst, all come from asking a question to yourself…

MALE:

Doubting yourself?

FEMALE:

No, no silly, challenging yourself. To see how you measure up as a human being

MALE:

Having sex with your close friends is your idea of ‘measuring up?

FEMALE:

…You’re gonna say it…

MALE:

Say what?

FEMALE:

Keep going

MALE:

I’m thinking of repercussions…if…

FEMALE:

There you go

MALE:

If I hurt you…

FEMALE:

You won’t

MALE:

If I do…

FEMALE:

I’ll forgive you

MALE:

Like that?

FEMALE:

Like that

MALE:

I’d never fall out with you either. You mean too much to me.

FEMALE:

See? I’ve got nothing to be afraid of, and neither do you

MALE:

This is the part where I say ‘I love you’ and we snuggle a bit right?

FEMALE

We’re not lip locking

MALE:

Unfair

FEMALE:

Go with the Eskimo kisses.

MALE

Why? You feeling chilly? Like them?

FEMALE:

‘Course I’m chilly, so are you, God DID turn the faucet on

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