AN EXPECTED HIT
“How far do I have to be?” asked Bob.
“Just a few inches more Bob” Linda replied, Bob slowly backing away from the restaurant.
“Lyn, you’re kind of backing me up onto the road here”
“That’s the point silly, now raise the ad up high” Linda instructed.
Bob raised a placard he held in his hand, with the word HIT scribbled on it, with a triangle in the middle.
Lyn, I really don’t want to hold up any traffic here
Oh you’ll be peachy Bob, now hold still while I take the shot
The Belcher children swiftly arrived on the scene
“Whoa Mom, you trying to get Dad whacked or something? Louise asked, taking note of the sign Bob was holding
“No, nothing of the sort kids, we’re just trying to move some business along”
“Lyn, come on” Bob said, as a few cars had already stopped dead in their tracks, their drivers aggressively telling him to move off the road.
“Looks to me that the traffic isn’t moving along” said Louise.
“Mom, what’s with the triangle on the sign?” said Tina.
“It requires an eye, like on the corrupt dollar bill” said Gene.
“Now Gene, what did we tell you about not taking the whole root of all evil thing seriously? ” Linda cautioned.
“I will not sleep soundly with a sound mind, my hats are made of tin for a reason. Assure me this is the work of the devil or I will be no angel today”
“Gene, I’m docking your pay for that remark” Linda said, annoyed.
“No, really mom, what’s with the triangle?” Tina asked
“It’s pointing to the restaurant, it says hit because that’s what the recent food reviews in the papers called us”. said Linda
” Whoa, whoa, wait Mom…that’s meant to be an arrow from a front angle?” Louise asked, slightly bamboozled.
“Yeah, the idea is we list the name of the street we’re on, take a picture of the road in the town, post it online and then the customers who view it on their apps and whatnot can pinpoint where it is.
Wouldn’t it have made more sense to write the name of the business on the sign? By just having it read ‘here’, you’re not giving it much information
“And if anything, the fact the rival restaurant is right behind him will probably make everyone think he’s advertising THAT” Louise pointed out
“Linda, they’re honking at me” cried out Bob, “I also think one of them’s contemplating stepping out of his car, yep, he’s rolling up his sleeves. The sleeves are rolled. ”
“I think you should give Dad the all clear Mom”
Louise suddenly felt someone tug at her skirt, she peered around and found pocket-size Rudy from school commanding her attention
“Oh, hey Rudy, fancy meeting you here”
“I wanted to give you this” Rudy said, handing Louise a thank you card. Louise read the message aloud.
“Be it small, regular, or large, you make everything feel fun size”
“Oh gee, that’s sweet of him…this is for saving him from those loons who loomed over him at lunch right? ” Tina asked.
“Yeah, thanks short stuff, it was my honour” Louise said, rubbing her hand across Rudy’s hair and scruffiying it up a tad.
“Aw, my little angel’s looking out for all her little cupcakes that begin with the same name”
“Don’t read into it Mom” Louise said, trying to cover her tracks. Linda gave her a knowledgeable stare, respecting her daughter’s desire to keep her true feelings for a Rudy of the regular kind private.
“Linda, for god’s sake, just write the address on the sign next time” Bob said
“Ok Bob, come away from the traffic, the kids have gotten me to change my mind”
Bob walked back, apologizing profusely to the drivers. It had been, however, too late to appease one of them, who had levelled his face with a mean right hook.
“We’re really going to have to hold family meetings if we’re going to plan big boosts for business” Bob said. Linda walked over to him and nursed his black eye.
“I guess this campaign led to a most expected hit” said Tina.