Danger Mouse-Repeat Offenders (fanfic)

 

DANGER MOUSE:

REPEAT OFFENDERS

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS


Duckula sat in his cell wondering if any of the prison officers would bother fetching him his clothes to wear. He’d been in nothing but his pajamas for hours.

The door to his cell opened and, it appeared, salvation had come at last, as his cape was thrown at ludicrous speed towads him, smacking him in the face and settling on his beak.

Still heavily tied up, Duckula could’nt reach up to his features and pull the cape off, he was forced to let whoever was coming into the cell commence with the deed.

Soon, that too came to pass and the cape was removed from the tip of his beak by his visitor…and what a sight it was to see.

Jeoparday Mouse.

“You look dangerous gorgeous” said Duckula as he beamed at the sight of her.

“All I want is answers to a question or two Duck, just routine…although routine is not how I’d describe the last few hours I’ve had”

“I’m all ears…well, and fangs” said Duckula.

“One minute, I’m being awarded the medal for best Danger Agent in the whoe world, the next I’m smacking my superioer officer on the bottom with a tennis racket. I don’t even remember how it got there. All I know is the incident embarrased me and I wound up detained for hours, I almost lost my posistion until word came back from the reports filed by Danger Mouse’s plump pal that I’d endured some last minute rewrite of reality”

“So your thoughts, as always, turned to me did they?” said Duckula.

“I know you’re rewritten scripts on this show before Duck, so I want to know exactly what you were up to at Big Ben, and who put you up to tampering with my matters in the morning?” Jeopardy asked.

“Now, now Jeoparday, I would’nt have dreamed of messing with your moment. That was all Danger Mouse’s idea. According to Penfold, I was getting ready to mess with reality using my new temporal editing software, and I had framed him for a string of felonies which brought you out into the field to arrest him. You and the Danger Agency beat him fairly soundly and led him away to jail, making you the hero”

“You edited reality just to make me look good?” said Jeoparday, trying to disguise how flattered she actually was.

“Not just you, but also open up a slot for me to take DM’s place as Danger Duck, the world’s most star-struck secret agent. Just imagine what you and I could have acheived together with Danger Mouse out of the picture and you and I crossing over each and every week…why I’d even have understood your need for company at Thanksgiving earlier in the week”

“Yeah, well if Danger Mouse was meddling with me this morning, I know just who I won’t be inviting over in the future. Some friend he turned out to be. He’s proven to be a timely jerk”

“Well, the biggest thing you bruised other than his body was his ego…sometimes that’s hard to shake” said Duckula.

“So, I really whipped Danger Mouse into shape did I?” said Jeoparday.

“Is that a routine question, or one that’s seeking a complimentary answer?” said Duckula.

“I could do with some soothing after my ego’s own bruising” said Jeoparday.

“Well if anything, take comfort in the fact that there’s a version of reality on the cutting room floor which proves how vastly suprior you are to Danger Mouse when you’re forced to step up and kick tail”

“It’s funny, but I don’t think DM even has a tail” said Jeoparday, making sure to attach Duckula’s cape to his back as a way of thanking him for supplying the information.

“Any chance you could get the rest of my clothes sent to me?” he asked.

“I’ll arrange it” Jeopardy promised.

“It’s a real pity Penfold had to ruin what fun I could have had with that device” lamented Duckula . Imagine if I could edit the entire CBBC morning schedule? Maybe I could even place your big defining moment that DM deleted on their upcoming weekend show and place it on loop”

“I think we’ve had enough repeat offenders for one day” joked Jeopardy, blowing a kiss to Duckula and waltzing out of the room.

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