Lisa didn’t say why she reacted that way. Not to anyone.
Not to her mom, not to her dad, certainly not to her brother or baby sister
There was only one person she could tell.
Could she? Dare she?
She had to.
She waited until she and Ralph were outside Ms. Hoover’s class.
Now he was in for it
“Ralph, did you hear me back there?”
“You sound just like your dad”
Lisa tensed up, the thought of being compared to that lovable but trying baboon of a man took a proper naive nerve, all the better then that Ralph Wiggum had naive down to a precision science.
“I grunted at you, you, over getting the same grade as me, do you know why?”
Ralph shrugged and gave Lisa a textbook stare as blank as a sheet of untouched paper.
Lisa sighed, she grabbed Ralph’s right hand and gently rubbed it with both of hers, she was stalling, unsure of what to say next.
“You don’t know, you don’t know, you need a boy to tell you” Ralph teased, pointing at Lisa, and yelling to the top of his lounges, commanding attention in the barren hallways.
“Mansplaining is the least of my concerns Ralph” Lisa continued, continuing to massage Ralph’s hand.
“This is nice”
“Yes, this is, but I wasn’t. I shouldn’t have rained on your parade like that, but I had a reason…she only gave you that B because nobody else would, she did it because she was driven to distraction by that vibrating chair I bought her, she was caught in a moment and couldn’t get out of it”
“Lisa, between you and me that is such a 2000 thing to say”
“Life isn’t always about spinning U2 records Ralph, the point is you should earn your grades, and not be so enabled. I don’t want to see you hurt, not again, your life shouldn’t be one continuous disappointment after another” Lisa continued.
“Nelson says my dad thinks the same way of me” Ralph confessed.
“Oh I’ll have words with him” Lisa said, not surprised at the predictability of Muntz.
“No words with me? I like the taste of the letter B, it’s like honey” Ralph remarked, Lisa wished he meant that in a sarcastic manner, she felt like laughing.
And for that feat alone, Ralph deserved some reward.
“No words with you, but I will leave you with something” she said, and pressed her warm lips on Ralph’s cheeks.
“Why are you giving me cooties?” Ralph asked.
“Because nobody else would” Lisa said, blowing him one more kiss before skipping down the hallway.
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