Doctor Who: I Shall Use My Time [Fanfiction]

The Executioner stared down The Doctor and her companions, its weapon trained, and its aim precise.

“Shouldn’t we make a run for it?” Dan muttered.

“The slightest move will set it off” Yaz whispered back.

“Yeah, but it’s gonna shoot anyway” Dan replied.

“Not like this” The Doctor quietly spoke, as the full weight of her situation weighed heavily on her. She had led all she cared about to their deaths.

The blast was intense, their insides burned, they slumped to the floor, dead to the world and universe.

And then, as if by magic, they were alive again, but the memory remains.

The memory of sights unseen and things left unsaid.

“Does anyone have a proper feeling of déjà vu?” asked Dan.

They made their way across the ELF department store, going through a routine all too familiar, and yet it ought to be entirely new.

And in many ways, it was. They did not find a body where they were last time, they headed out to the lobby and stumbled onto the Dalek, it trained its weapon on them once more.

“Shouldn’t we make a run for it?” Dan muttered.

“The slightest move will set it off” Yaz whispered back.

“Yeah, but it’s gonna shoot anyway” Dan replied.

“Not like this” The Doctor quietly spoke, as the full weight of her situation weighed heavily on her. She had led all she cared about to their deaths.

Thoughts of things left unsaid came to the Doctor’s mind more readily, she turned to Dan.

“Dan, I’m sorry I led you all here”

“You know what I think Doctor?” Dan asked, before all three of them were again cut down by the radiant blasts of lethal energy coming from the Dalek

And then, as if by magic, they were alive again, but the memory remains.

The memory of sights unseen and things left unsaid.

“Does anyone have a proper feeling of déjà vu?” asked Dan.

They made their way across the ELF department store, going through a routine all too familiar, and yet it ought to be entirely new.

They headed out to the lobby and stumbled onto the Dalek, it trained its weapon on them.

“Shouldn’t we make a run for it?” Dan muttered.

“The slightest move will set it off” Yaz whispered back.

“Yeah, but it’s gonna shoot anyway” Dan replied.

“Not like this” The Doctor quietly spoke, as the full weight of her situation weighed heavily on her. She had led all she cared about to their deaths.

Thoughts of things left unsaid came to the Doctor’s mind more readily, she turned to Dan.

“Dan, I’m sorry I led you here, to your death”

“You know what I think Doctor?” Dan asked.

“Lucky you, you have time to think” said The Doctor.

“I’m not the one you should apologize to” replied Dan.

“What do you mean?” The Doctor asked, most curious.

“I’m saying there’s someone you need to talk to more than me” Dan responded.

The blast enveloped them, once more; they fell to the floor dead.

And then, as if by magic, they were alive again, but the memory remains.

The memory of sights unseen and things left unsaid.

“Does anyone have a proper feeling of déjà vu?” asked Dan.

The Doctor wasn’t going to wait around for the precise moment to ask Dan what he meant on the next loop.

“Alright then, who?” she said as they found themselves outside of the TARDIS on the basement level of the ELF department store once more, alive and whole.

“Who, what?”

“In a couple of minutes, we’re all going upstairs to die, I led you into a Dalek trap, I should have left you where you were, can’t tell what I was thinking dragging you into adventures with us, I never even walked you to your bedroom the first time you got in”

“Why would you need to walk me to my bedroom?”

“‘Cause you’re useless at scouting locations, could tell from the last four years we spent in the past. I had to always find the best place to prop up the tents in the Everglades, or don’t you remember that far back?” Yaz snarked.

“Yaz, enough” The Doctor ordered. Yaz folded her arms and turned her head away.

“Here, don’t shut her down like that, it’s her life you’ve put in jeopardy too, you should be apologizing to the pair of us”

The Doctor swiftly realised something.

“Right, well, let’s nip on upstairs and we’ll start again from the top” she suggested.

“You want us to get killed just so you can restart this conversation?” Yaz asked, more than a bit perturbed.

“You can count me out” said Dan.

“Me too” Yaz replied.

“Alright, suit yourself” The Doctor replied, and rushed up the stairs in a huff.

Dan and Yaz waited patiently, their ears holding out for signs of a struggle, a cry, something to indicate this time would ultimately pass them by.

“Here, you ever told her?” said Dan.

“Tell her what?” asked an annoyed Yaz.

“How you really feel? I mean, next time would be best, assuming we’re in some sort of loop. You could have a thousand chances to come out in the open”

Yaz held back some tears as the worry overtook her; she had let one small tiff with her friend potentially doom her to death alone. What if the loop didn’t reset?

“I better go after her” Yaz replied.

“Give it a thought will ya?” Dan advised, Yaz nodded and ran upstairs.

Dan waited a couple of more minutes, thinking aloud to himself.

“Why would she want to know where my bedroom is?” he asked.

Finally, he put his best foot forward and stormed upstairs after his friends, only to find cold corpses waiting for him at the lobby, the Dalek staring him down.

“At least they died together” he said, before swiftly following them in death.

And then, as if by magic, they were alive again, but the memory remains.

The memory of sights unseen and things left unsaid.

“Does anyone have a proper feeling of déjà vu?” asked Dan.

The Doctor wasn’t going to wait around for the precise moment to ask Dan what he meant on the next loop.

“Alright then, who?” she said as they found themselves outside of the TARDIS on the basement level of the ELF department store once more, alive and whole.

“Who, what?”

“In a couple of minutes, we’re all going upstairs only to die in the lobby, I led you into a Dalek trap, Yaz, I’m sorry, I led both you and Dan into this mess and that’s all on me, Dam I can’t tell what I was thinking dragging you into adventures with us”

“Here, why would you want to walk me to my bedroom? I can find my own way, a simple point to the right or left; north or south will do me just fine”

“Doctor, I need to tell you something, you need to hear this” Yaz revealed, her voice almost pleading her to listen.

“Will it get us out of our predicament?” The Doctor asked.

“Just know you’ll never be alone if it doesn’t”

The Doctor nodded.

“Alright, what is it?” she asked.

Yaz looked over at Dan, Dan nodded right back. It was time to confess.

“You really fancy Dan don’t you?”

“Oh for heaven’s sake Yaz” said Dan.

“What? I only met him a week ago” The Doctor replied.

“Yeah, but you crushed on him major hard after he vanquished the vanquishers while you were stuck in the Crimea, he talked about the look in your eye all the time when you fetched him”

“Look, will you not put me in your place right now?” Dan begged.

“Your place? What does he mean Yaz?”

“INTRUDERS DETECTED” bellowed the Dalek from above.

“Ok, that’s new” said Dan

“If we don’t get a move on, it’s gonna come directly to us, we’ll be leading it straight to the TARDIS” The Doctor warned.

“Here, the ship’s not looking too rosy” said Dan, pointing to the TARDIS.

“Oh no, no this isn’t good, it’s going through a ray phase shift, time is disseminating all around it, and eventually, us. It means when it explodes, and this time loop is still in effect, we’ll lose all cognitive recollection of events from the last few loops”

“But the loops will continue right?” Yaz said.

“Yes, but-we’ll be reset, like nothing we say or do will have any bearing on the next few times we loop, it’ll be a whole different experience”

“So this is going to feel like we’re wasting time?” said Yaz.

“You need to use that time Yaz” said Dan.

Yaz looked into his eyes and made note of their sincerity, he wanted her to function.

For the function of human beings, be it man, or woman, or anyone in between, is to live, and not to prolong.

The three of them travelled upstairs to meet the Dalek head on.

“Doctor, you’ve never led us anywhere astray, we’re always where we’re supposed to be, at your side, in love with all the sights and sounds, in love with the universe-in love with you” Yaz continued, wrapping her arm tightly around The Doctor.

Dan calmly poked around The Doctor’s waist and gave her a tickle.

The Doctor reacted to both gestures with joy, warmth and laughter. She may not remember these moments for very long, but it was a sense of resurgence, of fresh stars.

Of a new fam.

The Dalek loomed over them.

“Yaz, Yaz, I can’t let go, something’s missing” The Doctor replied.

“Doctor, we might not have another chance after this” Yaz said.

“I’ll take a chance on that final chance”

“Then wherever this takes us, it takes us together” Yaz assured her, and kissed her delicately on the forehead. Dan wrapped both his arms around her waist, kissing the back of her head.

“Dalek do your worst, our resistance is useless” The Doctor instructed.

“CORRECT” The Dalek responded. And fired upon them.

And then, as if by magic, they were alive again, but the memory remains.

The memory of sights unseen and things left unsaid.

“Does anyone have a proper feeling of déjà vu?” asked Dan.

“Doctor, I love you” Yaz replied, making full use at last of what little time remained.

The Doctor wasn’t going to wait around. She grabbed Yasmin Khan by the hand, gave her a twirl, hoisted her high in the air, lowered her back down, and kissed her passionately on the lips.

“And I you Yasmin” she said.

Dan looked sheepishly on, giving Yaz a confidant thumbs up.

“I’ll just nip on over here, leave you two ladies to have a wild night, whatever’s left of it” he said.

“Here, not so fast Mr. Matchmaker, I’ve got one or two home truths to give you too” The Doctor said.

“Oh really?” Dan asked.

“One, I really do fancy the kittens off you” she said, “And two, I really should have done this with Donna Noble”

She lunged at Dan and pushed her lips onto his mouth, slamming him into the back of a concrete pillar, gyrating her hips on top of his, her eyes were tightly shut, imagining an enactment of every sensual act she had ever studied in Amsterdam, her nose scrunched up against his own, he could barely breath from the release he felt as she pulled back from their embrace.

“Looks like the TARDIS is ready to burst” Yaz replied.

“It’s not the only one” The Doctor said, wiping the sweat off her forehead.

“I don’t think I’m going to forget this in a hurry” Dan admitted.

“Depends on the loop, it could be now, it could be never” The Doctor assured him.

“If we get another go-around, you want to maybe try some of those tricks on me?”

“Sure, Dan’ll get a thrill out of that won’t you? Maybe I’ll change my routine, maybe I’ll teach Yaz a few of that and watch her try it on you”

“Can you get a move on mate?” Dan asked of the TARDIS as the dissemination began to take hold.

“Wherever this takes us, it’ll be quite the ride, I just hope I’m ready to face it all, and face myself” wished Yaz.

“You’ll manage Ms. Khan, so long as you’re able to face yourself” The Doctor replied, giving her another precious kiss.

“To a new year, and a new you. The real you”

The TARDIS erupted in a blaze of crimson fire, time folded, and just as swiftly snapped back in place, a new loop commenced, with all retaining no memory, not an inkling of what came before. All that was left was the mission to come.

And maybe after it was done, they could all go to the beach.

Where was the beach anyway?