Category Archives: Updates

Danger Mouse-Repeat Offenders (fanfic)

 

DANGER MOUSE:

REPEAT OFFENDERS

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS


Duckula sat in his cell wondering if any of the prison officers would bother fetching him his clothes to wear. He’d been in nothing but his pajamas for hours.

The door to his cell opened and, it appeared, salvation had come at last, as his cape was thrown at ludicrous speed towads him, smacking him in the face and settling on his beak.

Still heavily tied up, Duckula could’nt reach up to his features and pull the cape off, he was forced to let whoever was coming into the cell commence with the deed.

Soon, that too came to pass and the cape was removed from the tip of his beak by his visitor…and what a sight it was to see.

Jeoparday Mouse.

“You look dangerous gorgeous” said Duckula as he beamed at the sight of her.

“All I want is answers to a question or two Duck, just routine…although routine is not how I’d describe the last few hours I’ve had”

“I’m all ears…well, and fangs” said Duckula.

“One minute, I’m being awarded the medal for best Danger Agent in the whoe world, the next I’m smacking my superioer officer on the bottom with a tennis racket. I don’t even remember how it got there. All I know is the incident embarrased me and I wound up detained for hours, I almost lost my posistion until word came back from the reports filed by Danger Mouse’s plump pal that I’d endured some last minute rewrite of reality”

“So your thoughts, as always, turned to me did they?” said Duckula.

“I know you’re rewritten scripts on this show before Duck, so I want to know exactly what you were up to at Big Ben, and who put you up to tampering with my matters in the morning?” Jeopardy asked.

“Now, now Jeoparday, I would’nt have dreamed of messing with your moment. That was all Danger Mouse’s idea. According to Penfold, I was getting ready to mess with reality using my new temporal editing software, and I had framed him for a string of felonies which brought you out into the field to arrest him. You and the Danger Agency beat him fairly soundly and led him away to jail, making you the hero”

“You edited reality just to make me look good?” said Jeoparday, trying to disguise how flattered she actually was.

“Not just you, but also open up a slot for me to take DM’s place as Danger Duck, the world’s most star-struck secret agent. Just imagine what you and I could have acheived together with Danger Mouse out of the picture and you and I crossing over each and every week…why I’d even have understood your need for company at Thanksgiving earlier in the week”

“Yeah, well if Danger Mouse was meddling with me this morning, I know just who I won’t be inviting over in the future. Some friend he turned out to be. He’s proven to be a timely jerk”

“Well, the biggest thing you bruised other than his body was his ego…sometimes that’s hard to shake” said Duckula.

“So, I really whipped Danger Mouse into shape did I?” said Jeoparday.

“Is that a routine question, or one that’s seeking a complimentary answer?” said Duckula.

“I could do with some soothing after my ego’s own bruising” said Jeoparday.

“Well if anything, take comfort in the fact that there’s a version of reality on the cutting room floor which proves how vastly suprior you are to Danger Mouse when you’re forced to step up and kick tail”

“It’s funny, but I don’t think DM even has a tail” said Jeoparday, making sure to attach Duckula’s cape to his back as a way of thanking him for supplying the information.

“Any chance you could get the rest of my clothes sent to me?” he asked.

“I’ll arrange it” Jeopardy promised.

“It’s a real pity Penfold had to ruin what fun I could have had with that device” lamented Duckula . Imagine if I could edit the entire CBBC morning schedule? Maybe I could even place your big defining moment that DM deleted on their upcoming weekend show and place it on loop”

“I think we’ve had enough repeat offenders for one day” joked Jeopardy, blowing a kiss to Duckula and waltzing out of the room.

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Danger Mouse-Easy Listening (fanfic)

 

DANGER MOUSE:

EASY LISTENING

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS


Penfold marched back into Mayfair H.Q well and truly burnt from the whole dating experience, and flying too close to a setting sun.

Oh wait, that was Danger Mouse’s fault.

He put his feet up on the couch just as Professor Squawkwencluck followed him into the lounge area.

“Come on, tell me how it went” she said, offering Penfold a parcel.

Penfold opened it, and beamed at the contents

“It’s make-up Ice Cream” she explained, “I was going to share these with Danger Mouse after we had our falling out over how best to give you advice on dating, but since you’re the one who got the girl I figured you were more in need of celebrating with it”

“Thanks Professor, but I don’t think me and Scarlett are going to work out” Penfold replied.

“She seems to flip flop on things…she says she does’nt want me to be defined by heroics, yet then she got addicted to the dangers me and the Cheif got up to when confronting my evil twin. She boasted about saving the universe, no humble pie in the pit of her stomach at all…and then insisted we set about doing more heroics”

“An action starlet is always going to want a piece of the action” Squawkencluck replied, “The important thing you can do is ground her expectations a little, if not a lot..by engaging in little home comforts. Take some of this ice cream to her and she’ll cream at the sight of it”

“That’s a bit lude for kids telly Professor” said Penfold.

“At least you’re listening to me this time” the Professor said.

Danger Mouse-They Love To Watch Him Strut (Fanfic)

 

DANGER MOUSE:

THEY LOVE TO WATCH HIM STRUT

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS


Ah, the lure of Hollywood. The glitz, the glammor, the cameras, the temptation to look into the lens and give every tabloid on the market a worthwhile money shot. If only life were like this every day.

Well, for one lucky hamster, it is.

Penfold waltzed into his Mayfare H.Q with a spring in his step, wearing glasses with razor sharp lens and a swanky three-piece suit complete with emerald green loafers. He looked the part and certaingly wanted to act like it, only he wanted to keep a humble attitude about himself, not wanting to appear too brash.

Still, every member of the Danger Agency could’nt resist walking up to him and shaking his hand, demanding a picture, asking him questions about his relationship with hollywood starlett Scarlet Johamster, who he’d met on the set of ”Rise of Loocifer”, which had gone through a very literaly kind of development hell in recent days having been revealed as a trap sprung by the genuine Professor Loocifer.

Penfold met each greeting with a sense of apprehension, but tried to keep his wits about him, making the occasional crude dig at the movie’s production and what had interested Scarlet in him. He was sure some of the Danger Agents that were probing him with questions were probably journalists in disguise.

Still, he could’nt let the press or the adoring private servants of the public get to him

And then Colonel K approached him.

“Ah, Penflack, good to see you” he said, still clutching his photo of Scarlett.

“Oh hi Colonel, I thought you said you’d be more precise with my name now that I’m dating an important hollywood figure” Penfold replied.

“I’m not exactly carrying a torch for you two, I’ve seen The Bodyguard, these type of relationships are doomed from the outset”

“So why do you have such a crush on her then?!” Penfold asked.

The Colonel gazed upon Scarlett’s photo and sighed deeply.

“She just reminds me of what my job will never permit me to grasp. If you want to hold on to something that special, you may have to give up something special to you”

The Colonel took his leave and slowly sulked as he went down the long foreboding corridor to his office.

“Think about it” he said.

Penfold went on his way.

“Morning Professor” he said as he marched into the crime lab.

Squawkencluck’s keen sense of smell picked up something rare in Penfold’s appearance.

“Is that what I think it is?” she asked, aroused by the aroma.

“Missing Lynx…just for hamsters”

Danger Mouse entered the lab in pursuit of him.

“Penfold, I really don’t think you should come to work showing off like that”

“Scarlet gave me this outfit for our date in four days” Penfold replied

“And you’re going to bring it with you on missions?” DM asked

“Danger Mouse has a point Penfold, Scarlet wants you looking your best, that’s hardly possible when you’re going in to face the worst of this weary world” added the Professor.

Penfold sighed.

“I guess you’re right Professor, regardless of where I stand with Scarlett, I still want to muck in with the Cheif and everyone else”

DM and Squawkencluck nodded approvingly .

“Should I get changed then?” Penfold asked.

“No, there’s not a lot of criminal activity today, besides your apperance has livened up a particulary dull day” assured Squawkencluck.

“Tell me about it, this place sure does love to watch me strut” Penfold asked.

Squawkencluck grabbed one of his cheeks and pinched it.

“I think we’re all kind of proud of who you’ve managed to draw the attention of. So many of us rarely have time for love, or to learn from it”

“Here’s hoping this pairing doesn’t go down the toilet” said Danger Mouse

Christmas 2017 Schedule

Don’t usually have timetables, but I figured one was worth putting up this year:

December 24th- My most recent Thunderbirds Are Go! and Danger Mouse Fanfics

December 25th- Doctor Who: The Snowmen (upload of new version)

Work/Time permitting:

December 29th-The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith (final version)

January 1st 2018-Knight Rider 2000: One Cut Can Make A Difference (final version)

Coming In 2018 (either January/February)

Doctor Who-Deep Into The Dalek

Doctor Who-The Pilot (Extremis Cut)

 

Doctor Who-World Enough and Twice Upon A Time

 

…And Then I Smile (Original Story)

…AND THEN I SMILE


“Happy birthday?” was the first question she asked.

The security guards were not keen on answering.

“Give her the badge” said one guard to the other. He did as he was told, and provided her with one, she meekly pinned it on her shirt. They then proceeded to shove her through the door into an ice-cold room.

The lights, dim as they were, lit up, and she took a look at her surroundings. She looked over at the row of women who lined the room with uneasy curiosity.

Surely they were capable of conversation she thought.

She approached the slender, cranky woman on her right, she was reading a newspaper. One of the few that hadn’t been fed to the dogs outside the compound yet.

She wondered what she would say to her.

“I’m 17” she said, without thinking too hard about which words were appropriate to say.

This probably sounded better off in her head.

“24” the woman said, rasining her head to meet the naive girl face to face.

“Happy Birthday?” she asked.

“Try asking someone else” said the woman.

“Who else is there?” asked the girl, leaning over and waving at the row of ladies in front of her. Some had the courtesy, or naivety, to wave back.

“Is this your first day?” the woman replied.

“It’ll be my only day” the girl responded.

“That optimistic are you?” the woman spoke again, trying to hold back a smirk.

She walked over to a vending machine pearched in the center of the room, she fiddled for some loose change, found some, inserted the change into the slot, and made her selection.

A can was slowly pushed out of it’s slot and deposited down a cool grey shaf, coming out the other side into the grip of the woman. She downed the contents of the can almost in one gulp, then offered the remainder of the contents to the new girl.

She politely declined.

It was now the woman’s turn to ask.

“Happy birthday?”

“I’d rather ask that question thanks. It’s important that I ask it. That’s what they said upstairs anyway. Helps me be more of a people person they say”

“Suit yourself” the woman replied.

Curiosity soon got the better of even her though.

“Suppose somebody answers…then what?”

“…And then I smile” the girl replied.

Most of the women had all been staring at something to the upper right of them, a computerized lock nearest to where the door was situated.

The red lights came on

The woman looked at the labelling.

“Grand Day Out…pfft, who comes up with these labels? Imagine someone asking you if you had a grand day out, and you’d have to reply that you took a swing of this muck…you sure you don’t want it? Grand Day Out?”

“What would happen if I said yes?” the girl responded. What then?” the girl replied.

“Same as you I imagine. I’d smile”

“Quiet, the pair of you, someone’s coming” another woman uttered, trying to simmer the pair’s jaunty behaviour.

The door opened and the security guards poured in, they were accompanied by a short, plump black man wearing a blue shirt and a slightly crooked tie.

“21” he said.

A hand was raised. The guards walked along the row of women and pinpointed the source of the outstretched hand, bringing one female towards the man.

“Manic Monday?” she asked.

“It’s a Thursday, but every day for someone up there feels like the start of a working week, I could do with a refreshing reminder of the days I’ve already put behind”

Without hesitation, he groped her, then pulled back.

“Flat” he said, menace in his voice.

Without saying another word, he gestured to the guards to dispose of the damaged goods. They obeyed and took out the female with a heavy round of firepower from their weapons.

The row of women shook with fear, some crying and finding comfort in one another’s arms. The guards looked upon this and began barking orders at them.

“Don’t mingle, this is’nt a pick’n’mix, stay in your rows. All of you” they instructed, before slowly backing slowly towards the door.

The man was determined not to leave, he took out another number

“17”

The girl visibly shook. The woman stared at her with sollemn pity. In the breifest of moments exchanged between them, she had taken quite a shine to her.

“Oh you poor thing..you’re speechless aren’t you? Can’t imagine you’ll find your voice now…grand day out?”

The girl wept, but found the strength to answerr

“I won a ticket to get in this place…solid gold price, I played in the parks ’till I was 14, then spent the next two years conducting tours for the other kids. Made extra cash, lived in luxery. I was labelled a breath of fresh air. A refreshment. All that was left was the branding”

The man stared hard at her, his eyes charged with ill intent.

“Speak to me” he said.

The girl looked at the woman, her lips quivering, unsure of what to say.

“Go on, do what you came here to do” the woman said, “We understand branding, make the most of your day if you wish it to be your only one”

The guards raised their weapons.

The girl asked the question

“Ha-Happy Birthday?” she said.

The man grinned.

“I’ve always liked that song…Happy Birthday…to you, Happy Birthday…to you, Happy Birthday…Mr. President”

His fingers nimbly touched the base of the girl’s chin, he looked at her badge, it was facing the wrong way on her shirt, he turned it around.

It read “happy birthday”

“I’ll take it” he said, taking out a coin and inserting it into her pockets. The women beside the girl threw her out of the line and into his arms.

The woman seized her oppertunity and asked her own question again

“Grand Day Out?” she asked.

“Those days in the park were pretty grand, maybe I can see them again” she said, grabbing the can from the woman and drinking the remiander of it’s contents before looking over to the man in her arms and giving him a warm smile as they both departed the room.

The woman watched them both go, she looked at the discarded can as it was released from the grip of the girl and crashed to the floor.

And then she smiled.

 

Knight Rider-KITT VS KARR (Junkyard Edition)

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DOWNLOAD “KITT VS KARR-JUNKYARD EDITION” HERE

 

Taking another shadowy flight into the realm of criminals who operate above the law and the men who stop them amidst not existing.

Knight Rider saw it’s sturdy supercar KITT destroyed on rare occasions…usually in feature length episodes. There was one exception however, “Junkayrd Dog”, a 45-minute gem from the third season that was KR’s way of dealing with environmental issues and putting an end to pesky fat cat pollutants.  KITT’s destruction and subsequesant rebuilding is fantastic mythology building, introducing us to his original development team, as well as giving us some tense moments between Micheal and Bonnie as they clash over what’s best for KITT’s condition.

Seeing this episode got me thinking…what would it have been like if this were a longer story? Hard to stretch it out beyond it’s conventional length without having to fall back on another episode entirely…and there was only one other story that fit the bill from the same season: KITT VS KARR

Think about it, it alligns so perfectly. When one car falls, another rises. Both have their own fair set of problems, each have their own supporting cast, one set acts selflessly, one acts selfishly, the parallels are so poetic.

It was so easy to mix and mash some of these episode’s scenes, ultimately setting everything up for their respective third acts. Here’s a little timeline of how I managed it before you can see for yourself:

– Edit starts with footage of “Junkyard Dog”, and the road being paved with pollution. Episode title, writer and directors credits cut. Likewise for when we get to the “KITT vs KARR” portion of the edit
– “Junkyard Dog” footage continues until KITT is destroyed
– “KITT VS KARR” footage resume with KARR being towed out of the beach (I like to think hauling him out took at least a day)
– Junkyard Dog” footage resume up until Micheal asks Bonnie how long it’ll take to repair KITT
– Another portion of “KITT vs KARR” takes over here, with KARR persuading his driver to consider his options
– “Junkyard Dog” resumes and work begins on restoring KITT
– Back to “KITT vs KARR”, KARR learns about Eddie’s pacemaker, then-
– back to “Junkyard Dog”
– back to “KITT VS Karr” after Eddie is administered to hospital
– back to “Junkyard Dog” for more or less the remainder of it’s duration
– “KITT Vs KARR” resumes with KITT coming out of the tunnel, several scenes rearranged due to other scenes being used earlier in the edit
– Epilogue of “Junkyard Dog” used.

 

Another Clean-Up

Removed my entries on Doctor Who-Series Ten Revisited as I will be remounting them soon with rips from the official DVD releases and not the TX versions.

Gone too is my umpteen drafts of The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith…now that the current version is listed on IFDB. The new draft will be made available to stream on Vimeo shortly.

Also missing is The Snowmen as I had an even better set of ideas for it as an edit. It’ll be back up before Christmas, I hope to have it released on FE.Org as a Christmas present, but we’ll see how they like it.

At the moment, I’m thinking of giving my Doctor Who edits a “uniform title” sequence, which would just be the old 2005-2009 titles with a shortened version of the theme borrowed from Whoflix.