Special thanks to fellow Faneditor contributor TomH1138 for inspiring me to get off my toochie and finish the job I started with the trim of Day of the Moon I put together…this time I’ve decided to merge both parts of the opener of series six together to form a more coherent experience
What’s different? For starters, the pre-title sequence is now the minisode for the opener that came out online before the episode aired, which is a lot more serious and a great hook for the relevant plot points of the story. Why we didn’t get this I don’t know, Moffat thought it was better to have The Doc waltz in on Laurel and Hardy as well as up someone’s skirt. Family show folks.
Next, we skip Doc and River comparing notes in their diaries and head straight to Lake Silencio where The Doctor ”accepts” his ”fate” at the hands of the Astronaut. Following a fairly unedited and smooth trip to the White House, our next big edit comes when The Doctor is confronted by Canton and Nixon. We skip over the cerfuffle that ensues with The Doctor pinned down by security, as I find The Doctor seated in the White House commanding all of the attention seconds after detection much more in-keeping with the character.
Also gone is Amy’s first encounter with The Silence, and with the removal of the Silence killing the obnoxious White House intern. Again, less is more, and what you don’t see leads to a better pay-off with the info-dumping later on.
And then comes the part that TomH1138 suggested…although he meant it as something to occur in a Day of the Moon-only context, I thought it would be much better if the now THREE Month time skip after Amy shot her own daughter opened with Melody regenerating in the street…adds a whole new and chilling layer to the mother/daughter dynamic. Stuff like that rubs off on an engineered psychopath out to kill good men in their youth you know.
Canton no longer pretends to chase Doc and company at all ,we get our info dumping, and in a cut I’m particularly proud of, I get Rory to talk about the Silence editing themselves out of conscious memory right after River reminds Canton they met them at the warehouse.
A few light trims here and there omits Amy encountering Melody again later and her capture at the orphanage comes much quicker. Couldn’t entirely omit the Astronaut suit being found at her location, but it still works.
From there, the last edit is a simple cut-off after Doc and River have their first/last kiss.
Edit should be dropping later tonight
THE UNFINISHED DETAIL
[Contains Spoilers for Mom, Lies, and Videotape]
Louise often had difficulty letting things go.
Even tall tales.
She couldn’t quite place why this notion for further closure presently existed in her mind, but it was preventing her from a sound sleep.
The story had served its purpose, her mom was left feeling content and engaged by her account of how the play at school had went for her and her siblings. It wasn’t the real account by any means, they had to exaggerate because their father’s camera had died out on them, but it was a satisfying yarn that had pleased her.
So why couldn’t she let it go?
Was there a detail she missed out?
She figured she had covered all the nitpicking basics covered. When she described how Millie fell off of the upper floor of the bar in an elastic string shoot-out, she made sure her mother knew she had been training for weeks for the stunt.
She was the most experienced at the creative nuances of play production. She knew how to craft a cohesive story, so what wasn’t so straight about it?
Part of her thought it might have something to do with how she thought less of Millie, often her regular nemesis, in this scenario. Here she was in actuality a lackey to Chloe Barbash.
And then it hit her.
Of course it would be Chloe.
And of course it would be related to the one other thing she had left behind when she closed the story out.
The one detail she had left unfinished.
In this reality, he was something much more simple to her. He was her son. The son she was barely there for, but would at the most urgent of emergencies, come to the aid of no matter the distance between them in terms of miles, lifestyle or ideology. Priorities were so much more tempered when you are protective of your own. There was no room for emotional compromise.
That is, until she herself was compromised.
She had let the story get away from her, but she relished it. She relished letting in that reality, to let loose, take a risk, take a stray elastic sting, and pass on, leaving what she left behind with strong words to live by, instructing him to take in as much air and life around him than anyone who treaded through life with such soft steps and much shorter breaths.
In this realm, her motherly instincts kicked in.
The deep lore she had established for herself…an outlaw who had rarely ever been there for her child due to the most dubious and troublesome business leading her astray and incarcerating her, was ushering in a desire for redemption.
In the land of the living, she had been inconsistent, as a spirit fit for the sky, she could look upon what kind of man she left behind.
So in order to sleep peacefully, she would spend her entire evening’s worth of dreams attempting that.
She envisioned the slick, crisp sunset hovered high above the backwater town, bringing a day glow sensation to those who dwelled in it.
The Sheriff took in this sensation while keeping a sharp eye trained on the funeral procession for his mother. He took out the mini-bellows that passed for his inhaler and took in a breath, he walked past the coffin, tenderly stroking the side of the brazen brown casket with his fingers.
He tapped a little diddy on the side, the first few notes of a song Louise pretended to have sang to him when he was little.
He took his leave of the procession and entered a tailor’s shop. He made a request.
Louise could feel the other realm’s version of herself smiling warmly at him making specific mention of this, and she ascended to the highest point in heaven knowing he would not let his memory fade as long as his footprints remain engrained in the Earth.
She had that much faith in him.
Same applied to the version of him that awaited her in the real world. Where the truth was more complex for her, where the priorities were all over the place due to age, hormones, and vitality. Notions of love and compassion that overwhelmed her to such a degree she had to mask it in her day to day routine.
It was so much easier to consider herself a mother than a lover.
But who said reality, life, was simple?
AN EXPECTED HIT
“How far do I have to be?” asked Bob.
“Just a few inches more Bob” Linda replied, Bob slowly backing away from the restaurant.
“Lyn, you’re kind of backing me up onto the road here”
“That’s the point silly, now raise the ad up high” Linda instructed.
Bob raised a placard he held in his hand, with the word HIT scribbled on it, with a triangle in the middle.
Lyn, I really don’t want to hold up any traffic here
Oh you’ll be peachy Bob, now hold still while I take the shot
The Belcher children swiftly arrived on the scene
“Whoa Mom, you trying to get Dad whacked or something? Louise asked, taking note of the sign Bob was holding
“No, nothing of the sort kids, we’re just trying to move some business along”
“Lyn, come on” Bob said, as a few cars had already stopped dead in their tracks, their drivers aggressively telling him to move off the road.
“Looks to me that the traffic isn’t moving along” said Louise.
“Mom, what’s with the triangle on the sign?” said Tina.
“It requires an eye, like on the corrupt dollar bill” said Gene.
“Now Gene, what did we tell you about not taking the whole root of all evil thing seriously? ” Linda cautioned.
“I will not sleep soundly with a sound mind, my hats are made of tin for a reason. Assure me this is the work of the devil or I will be no angel today”
“Gene, I’m docking your pay for that remark” Linda said, annoyed.
“No, really mom, what’s with the triangle?” Tina asked
“It’s pointing to the restaurant, it says hit because that’s what the recent food reviews in the papers called us”. said Linda
” Whoa, whoa, wait Mom…that’s meant to be an arrow from a front angle?” Louise asked, slightly bamboozled.
“Yeah, the idea is we list the name of the street we’re on, take a picture of the road in the town, post it online and then the customers who view it on their apps and whatnot can pinpoint where it is.
Wouldn’t it have made more sense to write the name of the business on the sign? By just having it read ‘here’, you’re not giving it much information
“And if anything, the fact the rival restaurant is right behind him will probably make everyone think he’s advertising THAT” Louise pointed out
“Linda, they’re honking at me” cried out Bob, “I also think one of them’s contemplating stepping out of his car, yep, he’s rolling up his sleeves. The sleeves are rolled. ”
“I think you should give Dad the all clear Mom”
Louise suddenly felt someone tug at her skirt, she peered around and found pocket-size Rudy from school commanding her attention
“Oh, hey Rudy, fancy meeting you here”
“I wanted to give you this” Rudy said, handing Louise a thank you card. Louise read the message aloud.
“Be it small, regular, or large, you make everything feel fun size”
“Oh gee, that’s sweet of him…this is for saving him from those loons who loomed over him at lunch right? ” Tina asked.
“Yeah, thanks short stuff, it was my honour” Louise said, rubbing her hand across Rudy’s hair and scruffiying it up a tad.
“Aw, my little angel’s looking out for all her little cupcakes that begin with the same name”
“Don’t read into it Mom” Louise said, trying to cover her tracks. Linda gave her a knowledgeable stare, respecting her daughter’s desire to keep her true feelings for a Rudy of the regular kind private.
“Linda, for god’s sake, just write the address on the sign next time” Bob said
“Ok Bob, come away from the traffic, the kids have gotten me to change my mind”
Bob walked back, apologizing profusely to the drivers. It had been, however, too late to appease one of them, who had levelled his face with a mean right hook.
“We’re really going to have to hold family meetings if we’re going to plan big boosts for business” Bob said. Linda walked over to him and nursed his black eye.
“I guess this campaign led to a most expected hit” said Tina.
Talk about all the things you take for granted
Wish them well as you move on
And who cares if the latest difference
Diminishes the sun
We see all the clearer stars
The light flickers through the dark
As hazy as our minds get
Our souls rarely stand apart
And if you say it’s all your fault
And you feel you’ve hung around too long
Remind yourself of what’s behind you
Don’t leave without a song
NOT ENOUGH IN THE BOWL
Sophie Harewood liked a little too much of everything.
She liked to have more toys than all of her brothers and sisters
She liked to have more toothpaste on her toothbrush when polishing her teeth for a visit to the dentist.
She liked to have more than one television in her bedroom, in case one broke down.
She liked to buy more than one comic book every Saturday.
She liked to have a lot in life.
But then came dinner time.
Oh yes, dinner time.
Her mother had prepared a speciality. Two bowls worth of prime cut chicken laced with two kinds of Sophie’s favourite sauce, with rice and bread as side orders.
Sophie tucked into the rice, and she picked away at the contents of the bowl, taking one piece of chicken, two pieces of chicken, and a third, all from each of the two bowls.
…And then she stopped.
“Whatever is the matter dear?” asked her mother
Sophie folded her arms and stared sharply at her mother
“There’s not enough in the bowl” she said
“Whatever do you mean?” asked her mother
Sophie pointed to the contents of the bowls, there were still two pieces of chicken left in each.
“Not enough in each” she said.
“But what is the problem?” asked her mother.
“I want to have a full plate, I want more of it” snapped Sophie
“But there isn’t any more chicken” her mother explained
“What?” Sophie asked.
“I used it all up for this meal” her mother revealed.
Sophie scowled and kicked the legs of the table in a fit of loud, visible anger.
“I want more” she said
“Then all you have to do is pick the bits out of the bowl” said her mother
“But there’s not enough” Sophie said.
“Yes there is, certainly enough to fill you up for the day” said her mother
“But I wanted a much fuller meal” protested Sophie
“You can get more than enough from the pieces you have left ” her mother assured her.
Sophie did not seem to understand her.
“No, there is not enough in the bowl, I won’t eat more until there is more” she said, putting her foot down
“I can’t go to the store now dear, they’re closed at this time of day” her mother explained.
“Then I shall not eat another bite” said Sophie.
“Why must you be so silly?” said her mother, taking the bowls away.
“Why must you be so lazy and not add more to my meals?” snapped Sophie angrily.
“Go to your room” said Sophie’s mother.
Sophie did so, beginning to shed a few tears.
Her mother felt bad, and asked her husband if he could borrow a DVD of his.
She waited an hour or so, waiting for things to settle, then she went upstairs and entered Sophie’s bedroom
“Here, let me put this on for you” her mother said, putting a DVD into one of her two players.
Mother and daughter sat together on the bed, watching the DVD, it was a funny little movie about people with pointy ears making weird hand gestures and saying any one who put forth a nonsensical point or argument was “highly illogical”
Sophie laughed at the pointy-eared men, but she found her mother laughed more whenever they said “highly illogical”
“Why are you laughing Mummy?” Sophie asked.
“Because our argument today was just that…highly illogical. Logic plays a part in every conversation…it allows us to make sensible points when talking to one another. You thought there was not enough in the bowl, but logically, you should have still finished everything in the bowl regardless. You would still have had enough to eat. Your brain did not process that piece of logic”
“So I am like those pointy-eared men? I’m illogical?” Sophie replied.
“No, they are the logical ones, I’m one of them, I was using logic” said her mother
“Your ears aren’t as sharp as theirs” said Sophie.
Her mother laughed.
“What is it?” Sophie asked
“You just made a very logical observation” said her mother
Sophie smiled, “I am one of them then”
Mother and daughter held each other tight and continued watching the movie.
Later, as her mother put young Sophie to bed, making sure to give her more teddy bears to sleep with than her younger brothers and sisters in their own rooms, Sophie rose up from her bed and asked her mother a question
“When you make your special chicken next time…could you leave more in the bowl…is that…logical?”
Sophie’s mother did not have the stamina to argue logic with her daughter at this time of night.
“The only logical thing you need to know is my love for you is more than enough”
-Pre-credits sequence with Bucky killing the Starks removed so it can be revealed later
-Peggy Carter’s funeral removed
-Removed all appearances of Spider-Man
-Removed Wanda’s rescue by Hawkeye…Vision lets her go to the store. She does’nt come back until the airport reunion.
-Removed airport fight. Tony lets Steve and Bucky go out on their own to investigate Zemo
-Rodey’s injury and struggle to recuperate removed
-Iron Man and Cap’s fight at the end removed