Spider-Girl-Delicate Strings




Note: Well, as any fan of Mayday knows, ASM#8 sees her return to the printed page as part of the Spider-Verse comics event. Alas, it seems Dan Slott has chosen to put her and her family through the emotional wringer. I know some of you are probably upset by this, but hey, look on the bright side, this could easily be retconned down the road as one of many similar alternate realitys.

Relax. It’s comics. The continuous positive and negative of this business is this:

Everything is temporary.

DC’s Helena Wayne was killed off in Crisis on Infinite Earths, and she’s currently active as Huntress again. Hell, all of Earth-2 was destroyed once in the same event, and has since been restored/rebooted

So here’s a little story to keep some fresh hope alive until the day Marvel gives Mayday stability again. There’s no true despair without it!


Disclaimer: Mayday and the MC2 Universe are owned and trademarked by Marvel Comics.

My name is May Parker, I am the daughter of Spider-Man, and I’m not allowed to take strange things home with me.

That’s the rule.

It’s occasionally bent when push comes to shove, but anything that could pose a true danger to the family need not be invited so readily into the Parker household.

This is a tad different. It poses no danger. At least not to anyone staring inside the window, looking within the worlds on offer like they were a snow globe

No, this is something that affects only the mind.

In my hand I hold the Quantum Bolt. Recovered from the Neither Prisms by a contingent of Spider-Men led by a version of my father that had been seasoned in multi-dimensional experience. That and a few other hang-ups.

He told me my mom was made out of H20 in his universe. Very weird.

He also told me to take this to my dad, he said he’d understand. He had helped recover the bolt once before from the Frightful Four.

It is said it can create and sustain a whole multi-verse. Not just one world or two, but a vast infinite realm of possibility.

Most of the time the bolt was used to channel positive messages, and as a result it created worlds with positive outcomes. But then it became corrupted by the High Evolutionary of the Counter-Earth once visited by the Spider-Man that had seemingly seen the unlimited scope of every possible reality. The bolt was injected with a type-A disruptive pathogen forged from the blood of a cloned chaos demon. The Quantum Bolt began corrupting and disrupting the otherwise perfectly stable realitys, infecting the thoughts and feelings of the people inhabiting it’s network of parallel worlds, causing them to act out-of-character.

I recall the strange dreams I had not too long ago, nightmares of a brand new day that invited big time change, only to lead to less than superior heartbreak.

My mom told me we Parkers would never break like that in real life.

The nightmares continued even after that. I dreamt a whole plethora of hunters called “Inheritors” came looking for my family seeking to feast on something called Totem energy, they broke into our house and burned it to the ground. Nobody was safe. Not Mom, not Dad. Not even Wes.

Wes. I have to keep him safe from the strange, strange things I bring home to us.

So many responsibilities.

I took a peek inside the bolt, a small triangular orb held aloft within a glass hexagon prism, tiny nebulas dancing around each other, nested together like bees in a hive.

It was like looking through a kaleidoscope. The bolt sensed it was being observed, and it opened it’s realms to the splinter of my eye. I saw the corruption first hand, the inversions, the axis, the avenged and the x in the equation, disassembling, reassembling, I saw the Other, I saw the totem, I saw the Silk, I saw the turn of the cat, I saw…


Utter. Nonsense.

My mom would turn and mock the strange let alone face it. The High-Evolutionary had sacrificed consistency of character for inane stunts that flew in the face of how the heroes of my world, the heroes of many reality’s, acted. This was an anti-verse, a nexus of improbable decision making and poor choices.

What manner of evolution do you call this?

Of course, I realized this was the counter-Earth Evolutionary, so it would make sense out of how counter-productive this all was.

And worse, I glimpsed worlds where my nightmares had come true.

The bolt’s nature remains a mystery, it contains within a fragment of space and time, what if every creeping thought, every fear, every weakness, had been channelled into the bolt like a conduit? What if the bolt in turn channelled it out?

Chicken and the egg syndrome. What passed through first?

The strings that bind this web of life together are delicate, and it surprises me that we Parkers can be made to look as fragile as butter in these worlds of negative consequences

I need to bring the strange homeward. I need to tell my dad, and we need to fulfil a promise.

No matter who ore what comes looking for the Quantum Bolt, we Parkers will not scatter, we will not flee.

We will fight.

We will endure.

And we will survive.

That is the only possibility I will tolerate.

As for why the bolt is within my hands, what my dad needs to know, these questions are best left to the future.

And there’s a good possibility my dad will ground me for bending the rule in that forthcoming future.



Doctor Who-Deep Breath

Deep Breath CD


A 48-minute trim of Peter Capaldi’s debut story as the Twelfth Doctor, with no cameo from Missy, also cut from the episode are the more slapstick moments (yes, that includes Clara getting clobbered by the Times), shortening Capladi’s flapping about with the dinosaur, and an all new pre-credits sequence, putting the murderous affairs of Half-Face Man to the forefront of viewer’s attention.


Doctor Who-The Name of The Doctor

The Name of the Doctor


If there’s one thing I can’t stress enough as a writer and as a viewer, is that you should not have the big surprise spoiled minutes in advance of your episode. Second, what is WITH the whole “Clara tells Bill which ship to take” when it was clearly established in “The Doctor’s Wife” the TARDIS picked Bill and not the other way around. Time can be rewritten? Well episodes can be re-edited, so the whole pre-credits bollocks gets replaced pretty soundly with “Clarence and the Whispermen” and the original sequence is bumped up to the episode’s climax. Yowza!


Doctor Who-The Ultimate Foe

:Ulimate foe


At first you don’t succeed, try again

This is a repost of an earlier edit, only this time it has slightly modified some more to include Pip and Jane Baker as credited co-writers in addition to Robert Holmes. The aspect ratio has also been fixed so nothing looks squashed.

Original Details:

-The episode opens with Glitz and Mel being transported to the Trial’s base station. It gives the whole story a “full circle” feel seeing as the Trial begins with the TARDIS being intercepted and sent down there

-Mostly everything plays out as is until we get to the beach. I managed to edit out the original cliffhanger with the hands coming out of the sands and replaced it with the nerve gas approaching Six’n’Glitz (the transistion is smoothed over by the Valeyard’s daunting laugh)

-Mel being tripped up by the Keeper of the Matrix (and her getting revenge later) is cut. I felt that whole routine was far too childish a runaround made to further delay characters.

-As a result of this being cut, Mel whingeing about the fake trial later on is cut.

-Finally, as a climax, I took the opportunity to end the edit just as Six says “I was about to be sentenced I believe?”, this allows me to remove the three cardinal sins of the original version’s conclusion. The Peri/Ycarnos “wuv” screengrab, the infamous “Carrot Juice” exchange and echo, and the pantomime reveal the Valeyard is alive and well. Also I think ending it on “I was about to be sentenced” makes for a nifty meta commentary on Colin’s own fate as The Doctor if you know your behind-the-scenes history


The Simpsons-The Simplicity of Second Nature




Disclaimer: The Simpsons and all trademarked characters are licensed by Matt Groening and FOX respectively

NOTE: A little late on this one, but here is my tribute fic to Marcia Wallace, the voice of the irreplaceable and loved Edna Krandell…I mean, Krabappel (“oh, I’ve been making an idiot out of myself”-Homer)

It was another glorious Saturday afternoon in the bright and blistering embrace of summer. School was out and the playfulness of the youth was in. Bart Simpson was outside looking for a means to simmer down. He found it by finding the nearby watering hose. He turned on the faucet, letting the water wash over his face.

As he began humming a loud little tune to himself, he was soon joined in by someone humming as well. Bart walked over to the source of the humming to find Ned Flanders’s new bride, and his school teacher, Edna Krabappel, lying down on the soft green grass dressed in dark blue shorts and a light green t-shirt with Duffman plastered on the front holding holy scripture in one hand and a keg of beer in another, with the words “What Would Jesus Brew?” engraved in a speech bubble.

Edna and Bart hummed in tune a bit longer, making eye contact with one another. After finishing up, Edna smiled.

“Mrs. Krabappel, and how are you this ever sizzling Saturday?” Bart said as he greeted her

“Waiting for Ned, and whenever or not his lord and master decides to call time on this wonderful forecast” she said, “He promised he’d try to stock up on some candles for one of our friends Hanukah celebrations. That’s what I love in a man, someone who’s always willing to hand you a light”

“Speaking of that, are you still smoking?” Bart asked

“If you’re referring to my body language you can zip it Woody” Edna replied

Bart was taken aback.

“What did you say?” Bart asked, leaning over the fence

“Oh come on ‘Woodrow’, it’s been a while now, you can drop all feigning of ignorance on the matter…” Edna said.

It had been such a warm and rosy day, but all of a sudden a slight breeze picked up and the sudden jolt of an unnerving chill ran up Bart’s back. He felt awkward and uncertain. This was a conversation he had never dreamt of imagining. He and his family had taken great care in attempting to avoid it.

It had been so long since the time he believed he had tricked Edna into thinking he was ‘Woodrow’, a charming romantic dreamer full of wit and zest, whose features bore more than a passing resemblance to NHL star Gordie Howe.

“But…how did you…” Bart said.

“HA! Bart I always knew it was you, your handwriting was unmistakable, except for that last letter I got, and you think I’m completely ignorant as to who Gordie Howe is? What do you think this is? A cheap comedy?”

Bart tried to cut back with some kind of wise-crack response, but feeling too ashamed to.

“Hey, don’t think you’re the only one feeling the strain of stress over this, I was the one who sent you that photograph of me in my, to quote Neddy, ‘Sunday Best'”

“Yeah…if you knew it was me the whole time, why did you do that? Is’nt that…you know…a little…inappropriate?” Bart said, slightly aggravated

“Bart, you have the mentality of a good and proper sigil occultist, but on many an occasion you display a wisdom above your station, it’s second nature to you, and I was at my wit’s end as a hopeless romantic, so I figured if you were trying to troll me in that state of mind, I’d take the bait and see how far you would push if you got the envelope shoved a little too far down the letter box. I was expecting you to back off, but you didn’t. Finally, I figured that if you were basking in the simplicity of your second nature whilst being motivated mainly by your mischievous first, and since it was making me feel so much better about myself, I’d bask in my first nature and teach you a bit of a bittersweet lesson when the prank had reached it’s climax.

I took it on chin and attempted to meet up with you at the restaurant, but of course you didn’t show up. Which was worse for me, as I was prepared to laugh off your gag and just enjoy a nice dinner whilst detailing just how much homework you would be forced to sit through throughout the next school holiday session as penance for your prank. Part of me relished anticipating the payback portion of the game…but you were smart enough to avoid that confrontation entirely. You robbed me of a kindly sort of revenge. As that sank in, I just broke down. It wasn’t that you had fooled me at all, but that I had actually let myself be touched by your letters and that you seemed to care enough to put real thought, compassion, and energy into them…and then indulge your bad side even in spite of all of that. I even tried to tell you when I saw you in class sometime later when I said you were the closest thing to a man I’d had in life at that point, but I think it went clean over your head”

“It didn’t go over my head, but Mom always said the truth would humiliate you” Bart said, “I couldn’t tell you even if I really wanted to”

“Bart, ‘humiliation’ is when you’re forced to crawl back to your ex-husband to have your car pumped with gas rather than be pumped full of his other goods”

“Careful now ma’am, you’re with the Lord’s herd now” Bart joked

“Yeah, well if he ever learned about this I’d be the black sheep of the family”

“Well he won’t…will he?” Bart said

Edna took out a packet of smokes, took out a cigarette and lit it up, “Of course not, I have my first and second natures to adhere to…to teach and to nurture, not to taint and cheapen the experiences I have with Ned and the boys. Another reason for me to stay attached to them, they follow a good principal in life, and any principal not named Skinner is all the better for me”

“So when you were dating Seymour and told me to keep quiet about it…that was when you exacted your revenge wasn’t it?”

“Oh totally” Edna replied, “Besides, I did it just to show you my sensitive side, as a reward for putting yours on such display in the letters, and in a way that wouldn’t harm you emotionally”

Bart, not knowing what else to add, began whistling again, Edna joined in

“Hey, you carry a good tune” Bart said.

“It’s a skill I’ve practised time after time with the kind of timing and love that echoes through the ages” Edna replied

“Just a note…my dad came up with that one in the last letter” Bart said, “You can also thank him for the ‘butt that won’t quit’ line”

“Figures, there’s always a chunk of Homer Simpson in all our thoughts…I’d rather do with just a bit” Edna replied

“I guess you’ll be wanting your photo back now” Bart said

“I reckon I ought to, it sort of blights the meaningful conversation we’ve just had…besides, I think I can use it to play a rather heavenly round of teasing ol’ Neddy” Edna joked.

Bart turned to go to the house and rummage through his room for the photograph, but as he did, a thought came over him, and he walked back over to Edna.

“Mrs. Krabappel, all this jibber-jabber about simplicity and second nature…I wouldn’t be so comfortable in mine if I didn’t feel so secure in your class, I can be anything, a clown, an anarchist, a listener, an author, I’m a human yo-yo where you’re concerned, I go in all kinds of directions, but I always absorb everything that goes on, and everything you say, good, bad, ever so slightly abusive, grows on me. The best teachers always come across as the parents we never had, and with your level of tolerance, you’re a prize candidate in any aspiring mother’s handbook. Rodd and Todd have much to look forward to”

“I don’t know if I should be dreading the next term…or relishing it with you around” Edna replied

“Hey, life is meant to be relished, after all you never know when you’re going to hear exit music” Bart said. Leaving those words to linger, Bart recommenced humming and wandered back inside his house

Edna didn’t join in as he left this time, she took the time to study her cigarette, she looked at the packet also. Her face hardened, a small tear ran down her cheek, and with the slight press of her finger, she crushed the cigarette. She then grabbed the packet and also crushed it with the full weight of her hand before getting up and disposing of it in the trash can at the front of the house.

Only then did she permit herself to hum with all the skill and love that would echo throughout her ages spent on this planet.


TMNT-To Discipline A Shadow




Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are trademarked by Nickelodeon. All rights reserved

Note: This fic takes place in the same continuity as my TMNT novella series. You might want to take a read of them before advancing

Additional note: Pepperami is not a typo. It’s a food snack.

The scent was unmistakable. Saturn velvet. A strong kind of perfume with an enticing aroma. Only worn by the brave on a special occasion, usually a date, and there were plenty of handsome evenings that could weave themselves around the aroma picked up by one Chad Dawkins.

He clenched the crowbar in his hand tight as he checked the alley nearest to the warehouse he was safeguarding. Inside a deal was going down, a trade of over $17,000 worth of silver skeleton keys, a jewel embedded in the center of each one. A prize catch, and a dangerous asset to either party if they were caught handling them in these circumstances.

Chad’s job was to sniff out, literally, anyone who was capable of exposing them.

And he had pulled through. What he was sniffing out was indeed intrusive. It was a threat.

Better yet, it was a woman.

“You can’t hide anywhere” he said aloud, hitting his own hand with the crowbar ever so gently. Upon stumbling on a nearby trash can, half of it’s contents oozing out from under the lid, he kicked it to one side with his heavily laced right boot and then jumped down on it, attempting to partially crush it, he then wildly began beating the can with the crowbar, letting out frustrated wolf-like howls, he was seeking to intimidate, the response he got was far from feeling anything of the sort.

“Impressive” a voice rang out from the silk shroud of cool night air.

“Show yourself broad, ain’t no outdoing this sniffer dog, and my bite is a lot worse than my bark”

“I’ve read up on you, bit of an animal, but in the Pepperami sense”


“Pardon me, just reminiscing on my boyfriend’s taste for well over-processed salty snacks, I need to do some errands tomorrow and get him more of that. Such a drag”

“Don’t give me food for thought when I can easily have you for seconds, once I get a minute” threatened Chad

“You’re going to have to cover a lot of dark to bring me to light” replied the voice

“Say, I know that voice…you’re that reporter from Channel Six aren’t you? April O’Neil”

“Covering the latest breaking developments, always on time with things as they happen” replied the voice.

“Where are you hiding? I’m gonna make you the story”

“Answer a question first…unless you prefer not to catch me at my best” said April from the shroud of evening.

Chad turned to his right, believing he had heard a small footstep, he darted over the left side corner and stumbled on a wild kitten

“Careful around cats..you never know when they’ll pounce. That sure takes me back to when I had claws that were hard to cut off” replied April

Chad was slowly showing signs of irksome impatience.

“This hide’n’seek’n’destroy mission is gonna go my way broad” he said, “Don’t try to delay the inevitable”

“I’m trying to conduct an interview with someone at the heart of the matter, the least you can do is afford a girl like me something to leave behind before I sleep with fishes”

“Word on the street is you sleep with Turtles” said Chad

“Ah, well informed, I’ve picked a right fruit, now let’s make sure you’re no lemon…answer my question”

“I will if you come out of hiding”

“Answer my question and I’ll take a bold leap forward”

“Ask away” Chad said.

“You’re a shadow aren’t you?”


“A shadow. A guardsman for the mooks making the mint back in that building. You’re not paid to sit around, your job’s to sniff out any intrusions, to make sure that prickle on the back of their necks isn’t the breath of a cop or a rival gang member standing close enough to seize an opportunity to snarl or to snare. Answer me truthfully, do you consider yourself a shadow?”

“Yeah, I guess I am” said Chad, slightly taken aback by the calmness of the questioning, and the stimulating ease he was finding in this conversation. His hold on the steel crowbar loosened a bit, he put one hand to his jaw and scratched underneath it slightly to do away with an unsteady itch

“Now, here’s the next question, two of two, after this, I’m in the clear. Ready?” she said

“I guess” said Chad, now very confused, and not liking such a state of mind.

“What are they to you?” she said

“They…I…do I have to answer this?” he said

“If you don’t, I don’t appear, I go straight to the cops, I give them the location and details of the deal going down, we’ve got trackers in that building monitoring everything, I’ve got friends in very low areas, and they don’t mind getting high either…in a blimp, not on the funky mushrooms on their pizza toppings”

“Ok, ok…they’re…dependable, I guess. I got a family back home, had a kid just a week ago, money’s not so tight, so figured I’d…”

The impact was sharp, heavy and sudden, Chad felt his knees buckle. Somehow, incredibly, he could only stagger from what had hit him over the head. He immediately checked, rubbing his hands over his scalp, in it he found pieces of glass.

Another blast came from behind, he heard something compress, he tried turning around, only to have his forehead come head-to-head with the nozzle of a camera. It hit him hard, blasting and breaking his nose.

“Shouldn’t have went into detail like that” April said, revealed in full, emerging from the shadows in an attempt to bring discipline to one. “A family huh? Wonder how they’re feeling right now, wondering what their dependable shadow is up to?”

Chad groaned in pain, feeling the full weight of the impact from the camera to his skull, he got up and ran towards April, who let his gut feel the fury of a sharp thrusting kick from her right leg. As Chad clutched his stomach, April elbowed him on the back and brought her kneecap into his chin, before clenching a tight fist and, like a lightning bolt, it brought a sudden and sharp jolt of pain to Chad’s noggin as it struck him.

“April, don’t become the story” snapped a snarky voice from behind her. It was Vernon.

“Relax, we’ll just pin on the guys when they get down here”

“Graphic violence isn’t key to their demographics” said Vernon.

“And that’s why they lost their popularity to import sensations from Japan, slight scandal will do them wonders and do good ratings for us. Think big Vernon, this isn’t the 90s anymore”

“I didn’t think we ever left the 80s” snapped Vernon, “Those decades sort of bleed one into the other”

“I was going to let you off easy pal, but you had to bring family into it…that just raises my ire and it ignites a fire” April said to the groggy and near unconscious Chad.

“Just so you know April, that damage to the camera is coming out of your check” said Vernon as he picked up the remnants of the equipment.

“Small price to pay for enforcing perspective” April replied, before she removed her Turtle-com from her belt buckle and patched in to Donatello, high up on the Turtle blimp.

“Boys, swoop in, they’re all yours”

High overhead, the Turtle blimp flew down, ropes descended from atop it, and the four familiar forms of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles slid down onto the roof of the warehouse. Donatello popped open a hole in the thatched sky loft of the structure with his Bo, and with a familiar cry of “Cowabunga”, the Turtles dealt their own swift brand of vintage vice to the dealers of the silver skeletons.

“April…” began Vernon, only to find she was gone, with only an open manhole left to provide a clue to her whereabouts

April made her way through the sewer network, using her Turtle-com to follow a homing beacon that her boyfriend had placed in one of his spare coms in the desk drawer of their bedroom.

Once she found her way to the Turtles’ lair, she creaked open the door and gently walked through the murky interior. She spotted Splinter deep in meditation, a half-finished game of Mouse Trap laying beside him.

April made her way over to the Turtles’ bedroom, stretched her arms, and sat down on the bed belonging to her and her boyfriend, she slipped off her boots and delicately peeled off her yellow jumpsuit and changed into a silk nightdress that Michelangelo had left nicely folded for her on the spread. She clambered into the bed and checked the right side to check if the book she had been reading the last night she had spent here was still in the same position she had left it. It was.

She spent the next couple of hours immersed in the pages of her book, and slowly but surely the warmth of the soothing romantic prowse contained within was settling her down, and she ultimately drifted into slumber, that is, until she heard several footsteps, followed by all too familiar overzealous, cool, cocky, and a little inch of crazy, yells and self-congratulatory chit-chat from the four Turtles.

As soon as they entered the sleeping quarters of their lair and saw what appeared to be April’s still and snoring frame, they immediately backed off, leaving only one amongst their ranks as the only other occupant in the room.

Smiling, Michelangelo tucked into bed beside her.

“You’re not getting any better at this April, I can totally tell we woke you again” he whispered

April opened one eye and grinned mischievously, “Playing sleeping beauty always gets me alone time with the prince”

“You missed out the word ‘handsome’ in that title” joked Michelangelo

April turned around and faced him with her strong and caring eyes

“So, like, what’s got your brain frying this time?” he asked, observing the novel, “It really can’t be this mush”

April swung her arm over his shoulder and rested her head gently on his chest

“Family” she replied

Michelangelo gulped.

“We’re having the same chat we had last night at your place aren’t we?”

“It’s not a job interview…I’m a reporter, different sort of beast, just think of it as a press conference and relax, imagine a crowd, an audience, imagine all the people…”

“Raph was right, bring romance into the fab four and watch the Yoko factor play out” groaned Michelangelo

April sighed, and kissed Michelangelo on the nose before snuggling back into his arms.

“Look, I had a rough night, I played mind games with a mook and it really preyed a bit on my own head…people will take ridiculous risks for the people they care about, I was curious about the nature of the those that have thankless jobs on both sides of the coin, be they good or evil, the ones that stick by our side even if we sometimes take them for granted, I asked what were those we protect to them…and I got two things out of it…dependability, and…and family. I guess I expected the last thing, but that’s it is’nt it? The shadows, they’re our constant companion, they’re an imprint of life in the city as much as real shadows are moving on walls…it got me to thinking, if we start a family, what would I be to my shadow, my companion, you, would I be just as dependable to you? Would I be able to provide something you need?”

Michelangelo smiled “Babe, you provide plenty…and I’m not just talking about the Pepperami or the cheese’n’chilli Pizza on a cold Thursday night, you bring me not just love and laughter…you bring this loyal shadow discipline”

April trailed her fingers across Michelangelo’s rough stomach, whilst Michelangelo placed a hand on her head,stroking it through her hair like a tender brush

“Shadow…nice name for our kid don’t you think?” April asked

“Oh so we are having the exact conversation…i thought for sure you were trailing off, but never one to subvert expectation are you?” asked Michelangelo, folding his arms. April laughed

“All you fear is the paperwork, not the responsibility” April said, and turned off the nightlight beside the bed

“Don’t worry” she whispered, “If Shadow ever asks what we mean to you, I’ll be sure to say one thing…”

“Discipline?” asked Michelangelo

“Drive” she whispered back.

“I hope that doesn’t mean you’ll be taking Shadow on road lessons…I’ve seen you trying to ride the Van…


Doctor Who-The Snowmen

The Snowmen


I know Whoflix is of the opinion that the minisodes for this special (“Vastra Investigates” and “The Great Detective”) are shit, but I needed something to further set my take on this apart from his, so I included at least one of them at the star (Great Detective), other things I’ve removed are the “One Word Test” malarky and, as Whoflix did, skipped past Clara following The Doctor up the ladder the first time but left at least an attempt by her to reach the ladder in there. Nothing much else has been changed. My original plan was also to include “Demon’s Run, Two Days Later” but the aspect ratio on the DVD source was ever so slightly off.

Finally learned how to convert files to smaller sizes also, so this one comes in at a nifty 450.8 MB.