‘Cause the tea at Yazs’ is cold.
‘Cause the tea at Yazs’ is cold.
(Contains spoilers for 11X10)
The Doctor couldn’t sleep, thoughts of guilt cut through her slumber, stirring her.
It had been all her fault.
Tzim-Sha Tof the Stenza had come close to wiping out the planet Earth, he had come close to setting himself up above the gods like so many of the could-of-been-kings she’d encountered over the centuries, and had he succeeded she would have the blood of billions on her hands.
All because she told him to go home.
She expected him to die, she expected him to touch down on home soil and be atomised courtesy of the DNA bombs she had planted on his person, but that didn’t quite happen.
He had arrived on another world, the home of the Uux, and he had manipulated them to serve him in good faith.
Faith was a word that weighed heavily on The Doctor’s mind.
She got up, feeling a chill as the ventilation caused a brief draft in her bedroom. She placed a nightgown across her bare skin and stuck her feet in a pair of pink furry slippers with the face of the Pink Panther on them, and walked out of the bedroom towards the console room.
There, she found Graham was up as well, clutching a hot water bottle and holding it close to his chest.
“Had a tough time of it too Doc?” he asked.
The Doctor tightened the pull on her robe and crouched down next to the console.
“Yeah, sort of, just thinking a bit. I like thinking, though it can get a bit much” she admitted.
“One shot” said Graham as he stared at the crystalline column, his eyes mesmerised by its tranquil rotation.
“Sorry?” The Doctor asked.
“I had one shot at him. Tim Shaw, or however you pronounce his name, I took all my rage, my grief over Grace, over what I lost, and I channelled it into that one moment, and that moment was mercy. I raised above it all Doc. I didn’t shoot myself in the foot, I reserved that for him”
The Doctor frowned.
“That was a joke Doc, it was his foot that took the laser bolt” he said, kneeling down and sitting beside her. He sighed.
“Yaz and Ryan, they sleep like babies, so much to live for, and me? I don’t know when my next session with cancer will spring on me. Just because you’re in remission doesn’t mean you’re free, you have to be vigilant every day. It’s always a fight. I wish I could call checkmate on it, on my own terms, but life is rarely as ripe with opportunity as that”
The Doctor nudged him on the shoulder and snatched the water bottle from his grip.
“Trust me Graham, you don’t want to play chess, not on the scale I did” she said.
“I don’t follow” said Graham, confused.
“There was a time where I didn’t stumble into things, where I was in control of not just my life, but other people’, life was a chess board and I knew all the pawns, they went ahead and took the hits while I protected all the other pieces, trying to make sure the board wasn’t swept clean. I told myself there would only be my hand that would part the red sea, I was proper blasphemous, I saw no need for gods when I could rely on my own reflection, cared so much about preserving order in the universe that I cared little about the chess pieces that bought into chaos…that applied to people that belonged on my side as much as it did for those on the opposing end”
The Doctor gently placed a caring hand on the right side of Graham’s cheek.
“Calling checkmate on my enemies meant forcing my friends to abandon their faith in me. I don’t want you to ever have that power Graham; you have something more precious than friendship…you have family. They may not be of your blood, but they’re bonded by your strength in spirit. Promise me you won’t ever consider a crap shoot with the universe”
Graham put his arms around The Doctor and held her tightly.
“I promise Doc, anything for you, you count me amongst the strongest, and I’ll prove just how durable I can be”
“Thanks” she said, ruffling his hair a bit before springing up.
“Now, I’d best get back to bed” she said.
“Need anything else? You may have cheered me up, but you look like you could do with a bit of a stirring speech yourself” Graham asked.
“No, not really one for speeches unless I’m making them, but you know, I really wouldn’t mind a good bedtime story…you could read me one of my favourites, Ava Twist. Fancy a go?”
Graham nodded and got up himself.
“Your move” he said, offering her his hand.
The Doctor, initially hesitant, eventually relented and placed her hand in his, and they strolled back to The Doctor’s bedroom.
It’s 2017, and Peter Capaldi’s time as The Doctor is up. Determined to perform one last defiant act of kindness, the good man makes his journey into night battling the forces of the Mondassian Cybermen, a battle which brings him to death’s door. On the brink of death he is saved by his loyal companion Bill Potts and brought to the safety of the TARDIS. Bill heads off on her own journey, leaving The Doctor to experience the miracle of the time lords…
…Or rather would have if Chris Chibnall hadn’t been a sodding diva and opted not to start his run with a Christmas special, forcing Steven Moffat to helm one more special which just about disgraced and sullied the memory of William Hartnell, undermined the conclusion to Bill’s story and dragged out a regeneration with a speech that seemingly went on forever before Capaldi let the part go.
So here, we avoid all of that…as well as The Doctor virtue signalling about the time lords and gender change, we hold back on all the foreshadowing and merge both parts of the series ten finale “World Enough and Time” and “The Doctor Falls”, as well as the final moments of “Twice Upon A Time” to give Capaldi a “brilliant” send-off
I LOVE BISCUITS
(Contains spoilers for 11×06 “Demons of the Punjab”)
The Doctor checked the systems of the TARDIS again, perplexed by the latest problem.
Her biscuit dispenser was broken.
She turned and twisted the knobs, switched some levers around, and pressed her foot down hard on the pedals, but she couldn’t produce one solitary custard cream.
She took out a sturdy wrench from a kit bag and took the apparatus apart, the first time she’d even tried to manually tamper with the dispenser since the TARDIS unveiled it to her upon rediscovering her ship.
She was sure the sexy thing wouldn’t approve much, she never liked to be mended, she rebelled at every instance of tampering, she’d sometimes land on the wrong planet or travel to an even farther off galaxy just to spite whoever thought perfection needed perfecting.
The Doctor wasn’t about to let the ship make her mind up for her, she was famished after that harrowing experience in India, she’d even put in a request for something to nibble when she was there setting up her apparatus.
The TARDIS let out a hefty wheeze and a groan as The Doctor took the dispenser apart piece by piece, turned the components around, and tried rearranging them in a different way.
With the new configuration complete, The Doctor operated the console once again and waited for the results.
She seemed to have made progress, only the biscuits were now coming out in crumbs, they were reduced practically to whole-wheat sawdust.
Graham wandered into the TARDIS carrying a large tin jar.
“Hey there Doc, thought I’d come and see ya” Graham said as he greeted her.
“Oh don’t bother me now Graham, I’ve got a hankering for a hob knob” she said, kicking the console in frustration.
“Well then you’re in luck, you know how you said you loved biscuit? I thought I’d give you a crack at my selection tin here” he said.
The Doctor swiftly turned around and feverishly opened the lid, revealing handfuls of chocolate biscuits.
“May time stand still, are those white chocolate?” she asked.
Graham nodded enthusiastically.
The Doctor plunged her hand into the biscuit tin and tore a portion of the biscuit off in her mouth.
“Can’t get enough of white chocolate digestives, rarest of the rare, they’re like edible stardust to me” she said.
“See, I do listen, now never ask me to pick up chicken poo again” Graham joked, placing his own hand into the tin just as The Doctor did. By chance, their hands graced the exact same biscuit and they found themselves staring with warm and wise eyes as they each considered handing the biscuit to the other.
“I think it’d be best if we parted ways on this one” said Graham.
The Doctor nodded as her cheeks glowed red.
“Yeah, divide and conquers the motto we’ll use here” she said, a blossoming smile etched on her face.
“Between you and me, this may be the one time in my life I’m glad things fall to pieces”
With a little bit of a pull, the two split the biscuit in half and place each of the portion they held in their hands into the mouth of the other.
A relevant look into the shocking effects of sereggation in 1950s America, “Rosa” is’nt quite a masterpiece or one of the best epiosdes we’ve seen of the show…but that’s exactly what the NPCs of the Youtube generation will have you believe. Best sort them out another time eh?
I enjoyed the story, as my fics and music videos ‘shipping Jon Pertwee with the bloke off the Chase and a big brash space racist can attest, but I of course hadn’t forgotten about my ongoing mission to carry on where Whoflix left off and edit Jodie’s tenure in the TARDIS, and so here we are
One of my biggest plot niggles from the episode was the whole mess with the villain sending James Blake off to Mill Creek..padding of the highest calibre, and since these episodes seem to work much better when trimmed down to a more manageable 40-odd minute length, out it went as well as all references to it…also out is Ryan gushing on about his late nan to Doctor King
And there’s your lot…I’ll wait ’till I have a clean version of the shortened end credit theme without the sodding BBC continuity announcer talking all over it before I entertain the idea of replacing that annoying pop song.
COMING TO FANEDIT.ORG IN 2019
Full length “Rosa” fanedit coming later today lads, but first…some ‘shipping fun.
…Yes, I’m sick, and I need help. I’m essentially imagining William Hartnell making out with Bradley Walsh, what is wrong with me?
Actually, in today’s day and age…more like what’s relevant with me?
But yes, I ‘ship Doc and Graham a bit after they posed as a couple, combined with the Doctor’s baffled look at his arm on her shoulder…it was the most convenient way to end this very short music video, which is padded out by all the very subtle foe yay going on between the Doc and time traversing villain Krasco.