Tag Archives: FANFICTION

Bob’s Burgers-An Expected Hit

belchers

BOB’S BURGERS

AN EXPECTED HIT


“How far do I have to be?” asked Bob.

“Just a few inches more Bob” Linda replied, Bob slowly backing away from the restaurant.

“Lyn, you’re kind of backing me up onto the road here”

“That’s the point silly, now raise the ad up high” Linda instructed.

Bob raised a placard he held in his hand, with the word HIT scribbled on it, with a triangle in the middle.

Lyn, I really don’t want to hold up any traffic here

Oh you’ll be peachy Bob, now hold still while I take the shot

The Belcher children swiftly arrived on the scene

“Whoa Mom, you trying to get Dad whacked or something? Louise asked, taking note of the sign Bob was holding

“No, nothing of the sort kids, we’re just trying to move some business along”

“Lyn, come on” Bob said, as a few cars had already stopped dead in their tracks, their drivers aggressively telling him to move off the road.

“Looks to me that the traffic isn’t moving along” said Louise.

“Mom, what’s with the triangle on the sign?” said Tina.

“It requires an eye, like on the corrupt dollar bill” said Gene.

“Now Gene, what did we tell you about not taking the whole root of all evil thing seriously? ” Linda cautioned.

“I will not sleep soundly with a sound mind, my hats are made of tin for a reason. Assure me this is the work of the devil or I will be no angel today”

“Gene, I’m docking your pay for that remark” Linda said, annoyed.

Gene sulked.

“No, really mom, what’s with the triangle?” Tina asked

“It’s pointing to the restaurant, it says hit because that’s what the recent food reviews in the papers called us”. said Linda

” Whoa, whoa, wait Mom…that’s meant to be an arrow from a front angle?” Louise asked, slightly bamboozled.

“Yeah, the idea is we list the name of the street we’re on, take a picture of the road in the town, post it online and then the customers who view it on their apps and whatnot can pinpoint where it is.

Wouldn’t it have made more sense to write the name of the business on the sign? By just having it read ‘here’, you’re not giving it much information

“And if anything, the fact the rival restaurant is right behind him will probably make everyone think he’s advertising THAT” Louise pointed out

“Linda, they’re honking at me” cried out Bob, “I also think one of them’s contemplating stepping out of his car, yep, he’s rolling up his sleeves. The sleeves are rolled. ”

“I think you should give Dad the all clear Mom”

Louise suddenly felt someone tug at her skirt, she peered around and found pocket-size Rudy from school commanding her attention

“Oh, hey Rudy, fancy meeting you here”

“I wanted to give you this” Rudy said, handing Louise a thank you card. Louise read the message aloud.

“Be it small, regular, or large, you make everything feel fun size”

“Oh gee, that’s sweet of him…this is for saving him from those loons who loomed over him at lunch right? ” Tina asked.

“Yeah, thanks short stuff, it was my honour” Louise said, rubbing her hand across Rudy’s hair and scruffiying it up a tad.

“Aw, my little angel’s looking out for all her little cupcakes that begin with the same name”

“Don’t read into it Mom” Louise said, trying to cover her tracks. Linda gave her a knowledgeable stare, respecting her daughter’s desire to keep her true feelings for a Rudy of the regular kind private.

“Linda, for god’s sake, just write the address on the sign next time” Bob said

“Ok Bob, come away from the traffic, the kids have gotten me to change my mind”

Bob walked back, apologizing profusely to the drivers. It had been, however, too late to appease one of them, who had levelled his face with a mean right hook.

“We’re really going to have to hold family meetings if we’re going to plan big boosts for business” Bob said. Linda walked over to him and nursed his black eye.

“I guess this campaign led to a most expected hit” said Tina.

Doctor Who-My Angel

Zygon

Photographs.

Prior to the sensations one experiences with the real thing, it is photographs that are your infant footsteps into the mists of time.

The day you’re born, the day you marry, the day life you’ve yourself created comes to life, and the cycle repeats.

All of it contained in photographs.

In her attack on Bannermen Road, Sarah Jane Smith was looking over one such photograph, trying to solve a puzzle. She had been resisting a desire to sort it out at later date, but something was compelling her to examine it more thoroughly now.

It had been sent to her via a time/space telegram courtesy of her computer Mr. Smith, who had intercepted it. The photograph, a colourful photo of what appeared to be a bright and bustling summer’s day, two young and energized people standing still in the midst of a traffic jam surrounding a vast futuristic city with golden spires and lush gardens growing from every rooftop.

They stood transfixed, one holding the other tightly, beside him a small grey and white cylinder.

It was tranquil, it allowed her present mood to settle.

She turned back to her computer to resume her Skype call, all too suddenly reminded why she had put off her examination.

“You alright Mum?” Luke Smith asked as they continued their online chat.

“Tell me more about this Earl ‘Early’ Ladd” she asked

“Well, he kind of got that nickname from how early his social care buddies always were with him. He’s sort of become the envy of the rest of the dorm at the moment, his carers caught wind one of his interests was professional wrestling, so they found someone who had connections with the business and were keen to give him an opportunity to interview them”

“Oh my, I hope he doesn’t feel too overwhelmed” a concerned Sarah asked

“He did sort of vent to me about it, he said he was starting to feel less like a person and more of a project, something for the programme to brag about if he ever achieved success through those opportunities”

“He should make that clear to his carers then, when’s this interview due?”

“It’s just past midnight, so sometime this afternoon, Saturday the twenty-ninth, the choice is entirely up to him”

Luke couldn’t help but notice that Sarah Jane was starting to look a bit distant. Her eyes had widened, her face looked visibly fragile. She peered over at a calendar and let out a small giggle.  Luke kept his eyes trained on her eyes.

“Mum?” he asked

“Oh don’t mind me, it’s silly” she said.

“No, it’s sad” came a voice from behind her.

Sarah turned around to find a lean, tall, somewhat elder man standing in front of a bulky police call box situated in the centre of the loft.

“Mum…is that…” Luke began as he recognized the police box as belonging to a friend of the family, The Doctor.

Sarah swiftly turned back to the computer and cut him off.

“We’ll talk later, ok? You be a good boy and pop off to bed, dream of the next day, or the day before, pick and choose, just don’t worry about tonight”

“Any dream will do” said the man.

“But Mum…” Luke spoke.

“I love you” Sarah continued.

With a punch of a key, the Skype chat was cut off, and Sarah turned to address her visitor.

“Yes, well, memories can be sad as well as kind I suppose” she said

“Tell me what’s wrong” The Doctor replied

“It’s an important date today, surprised you remembered it” Sarah said, folding her arms.

“I count all the anniversaries…none of them get past me” The Doctor replied.

“We both know from experience some people evade time” Sarah replied.

“Not always by choice Sarah” The Doctor responded.

“That photograph you sent me…from the far future correct?”

“Correct” said The Doctor.

“Who’s future is it? Yours, or mine?”

“There’s a third answer to that”

“Yes, well I’m not entertaining it”

“Yes, I imagine you wouldn’t” The Doctor remarked.

“I shouldn’t even have asked you the first question” Sarah replied.

“Days like these to a time traveller…they provide all sorts of questions,  even the answers are riddles to us all” The Doctor answered back.

“Is that why you’ve come…to help us sort something out? Keep that future in place, or are we to prevent it from happening?”

“That would entail running towards something, I just dropped in to say why I’m not dropping in on this day a lifetime ago…why it has to be me”

“Why?”

“I got careless Sarah…incredibly careless. Something happened at the Olympic Games last year for you…so many years past for  me now”

“I saw it on the news, you carrying the torch, I was beaming with pride” Sarah replied.

” I was there twice that day Sarah, a runner with the torch came under attack. I saved him”

“Saved him from what?”

“I delivered him from Angels” The Doctor replied, walking over to a table and flicking small traces of dust from atop it.

“So what was the problem?”

“The Angel found its way into the TARDIS, it gathered up as much artron energy  as it could muster and it hid itself away,  lurked undetected and followed us all the way back to Manhattan where we dealt with other Angels…and when we tucked time back into place, it picked it’s moment to strike…and it took them Sarah, my friends…sacrificed to it…’my Angel'”

“Is that how you lost her?” Sarah asked, knowing what this meant.

“She chose her heart over her head, it’s love, it triumphs, that’s all I can take from this”

“You must tire so easily these days”

“Of what?” The Doctor asked

“Of how many times your hearts break”

“So many of them stray so far beyond me…this one was different, this one encouraged me to go on..just for a bit longer”

“And you did?” Sarah asked.

“Eventually, life sent forth a spark, one that lit the milky way, it will take a very special star in the eye of another to match what I saw in that…whoever that may be, I intend to give their name and their face a place in my memory”

“You’ve forgotten the last one? You?” Sarah said, slightly aghast.

“It surprises even me too”

“But you remember the feelings that person gave you, it’s strong…as strong as when you said…”

She trailed off, not wanting to add further tension, The Doctor opted to finish her sentence for her

“…As strong as when I said goodbye to  you. You and one other”

“Other? There was another?” Sarah asked.

“Her name was River…” The Doctor replied.

A chap came from the TARDIS doors, The Doctor’s plump and oafish assistant Nardole stepped forward.

“Interrupting am I?” he asked.

“Hopefully it’s with good news” The Doctor remarked.

Nardole waved to Sarah, who nimbly waved back.

“Doctor, the temporal tears over Manhattan were made of the same artron storms as those over Coal Hill”

“Are you trying to tell me our attempts to deflect the tears caused them to bounce off one continental radius to another?”

“Were they supposed to?” asked Nardole.

“I’ve got to get over there as soon as possible, someone may lose an arm or a leg over all this” The Doctor remarked, and ushered Nardole back into the TARDIS.

He took a look back at Sarah.

“I’m on call” he said.

“Do your duty” she said.

Before he entered The TARDIS, The Doctor froze, and looked back up at her.

“When River and I last parted…I said goodbye, but I never called her mine. She’d kill me if I ever claimed her as my property”

“It’s never been about property Doctor, it’s always been about the promise. Promise me you’ll be safe…that you’ll always be safe”

“Goodbye, my Sarah Jane” The Doctor replied, permitting himself a wry smile, before entering his faithful ship.

As he began punching in co-ordinates and cross-examining tears settling across the Manhattan and Coal Hill skyline, Nardole saw fit to intercede again.

“You know I was running a background check on that photograph you sent Ms. Smith and I was fascinated by it, apparently it’s meant to be a representation of a secret commitment ceremony that Time Lords make to those they consider compatible soul mates that they are torn from by time and duty …was there any particular reason you…”

“If I were you, I’d just answer the call” The Doctor remarked.

“That didn’t work out so well for Melissa McCarthy” remarked Nardole.

The TARDIS dematerialized, leaving Sarah Jane Smith to tend to her moist eyes, her tense emotions, her photograph, and her eternal promise.

“God speed my Doctor…….MY angel” she whispered.

 

Doctor Who-Leave The Dead To Dust [A Short Screenplay]

Zygon

“LEAVE THE DEAD TO DUST”

A SHORT SCREEN PLAY BASED OFF OF “HELL BENT”

 

  1. EXT- DESERT-DAY

Several Gallifreyan younglings are playing a game of tag with one another when a stern, commanding middle-aged woman urges them to seek shelter within-she has spotted someone approaching in the distance.

This person- THE DOCTOR- his coat slung over his shoulder, his head flooded with sweat under the searing sun of his homeworld. He has walked many miles and the fatigue is visible on his weary head.

Still, he walks with purpose, heading towards the hut. It is a place very familiar to him-very personal-he begins to reminisce…

CUT TO-

  1. INT-HUT-NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Flashback to “LISTEN”, where CLARA OSWALD’s familiar voice sooths the frightened and distressed YOUNG DOCTOR. She assures him all is well.

CUT BACK TO:

  1. EXT-DESERT-DAY

A CLOSE UP OF THE DOCTOR’S FACE,  there is clear and visible anger here…a man driven to his limits. Clara’s voice can still be heard to echo all around our ears.

CUT TO:

  1. INT-HUT-DAY

The Doctor enters the hut and is greeted by the woman, the younglings cowering behind her. CLOSE UPs of their frightened faces. The woman looks concerned…for a moment.

The Doctor does not say a word. He lets his eyes do the talking. 

The Woman’s facial expressions go through a series of expressions-curiosity turns to excitement-she recognizes him!

Then, as quickly as that expression appears-it’s gone, as a looming dread washes over her.

Her hesitation to speak ends abruptly.

WOMAN:

They’ll kill you

CUT TO:

OPENING TITLES

CUT BACK TO:

  1. EXT-GALLIFREYAN CAPITAL-DAY

Within the domed capital of the planet GALLIFREY, we see panic on the streets as the familiar tolling of CLOISTER BELLS ring from every corner of the city. 

We PAN UPWARDS from the streets of the city to a majestic ,gleaming TOWERING STRUCTURES. Buildings belonging to the most elite and privileged of Gallifreyan society-THE HIGH COUNCIL OF TIME LORDS.

We steadily ZOOM IN on the central tower. Peering out of the structure is a robed figure- a stressed and perturbed expression on his features, his head resting against the metallic hand he has leaned on the glass of the window giving him a view of the city

CUT TO:

  1. INT-HIGH COUNCIL CHAMBER

It is a frantic and bustling scene as Time Lords of supreme stature receive a visit from the captain of the CHANCELLERY GUARDS. He leans down on one knee and bows before the assembled Time Lords

GUARD CAPTAIN:

My Lord President

The President turns from the window to address the captain

LORD PRESIDENT

The entire cloister is ringing Captain Gastron…how many of the Wraiths are active?

GASTRON:

All of them sir.

LORD PRESIDENT

Then we are facing great danger

Another of the assembled Time Lords, THE GENERAL, last seen in “DAY OF THE DOCTOR”,  intercedes

THE GENERAL:

What of The Doctor?

GASTRON:

Returned  to his roots sir, the orphanage just east of the capital.

LORD PRESIDENT:

Despatch a squadron to retrieve him immediately.

The General takes The President aside

GENERAL:

Lord President, I have been in contact with Karn. Ohlia of the Sisterhood requests an audience

LORD PRESIDENT (angry)

They are exiles, cut off from our society, they should have no influence on the affairs of this planet!

GENERAL:

Now is not the time to remind us of how divided we are. The hybrid is a danger that threatens all corners of the Universe.

The President’s ire is quick to fade , his face one of solemn resignation to the matter at hand.

LORD PRESIDENT

Very well

CUT TO:

  1. INT-BARN-DAY

The Doctor is enjoying a piping hot bowl of soup. The Woman keeps the children at arm’s length, watching The Doctor silently. The Doctor does not say a word, he takes a few spoonfuls.

One child chooses to be brave and breaks off from the sheltered group to ask The Doctor a question

CHILD

You’re sad. Most sad. I can see it in your eyes. Why is this so?

The Doctor stares coldly at the child, there is no compassion even in moments where there should be.

The Woman pulls the child back, The Doctor resumes his meal.

A distant rumble can be heard in the distance. Steadily, the noise gets louder, the table and soup bowl begins to shake.

Some of the children begin to talk amongst themselves. Some are frightened.

THE WOMAN

Wait here

She exits through the main door, the bright and searing sunlight seeps into the room, illuminating The Doctor. The children remain transfixed by him…and somehow all their fears evaporate

The Woman steps back into the barn, she steadily approaches The Doctor, anxious, but resolute.

THE WOMAN

They’ve come for you

The Doctor stares back at the children. He slowly rises to his feet and walks up to the Woman.

THE DOCTOR

Tell them everything will be alright

The Woman finally permits herself a grin. The children smile too. Though his soul is lost, The Doctor is not without heart.

The Doctor pats the Woman tenderly on the shoulder and opens the door

CUT TO:

  1. EXT-BARN-DAY

The Doctor peers out of the door to find a small platoon of Gallifreyan storm troopers awaiting him. Towering high above them is a Gallifreyan assault ship, it’s weapons firmly and locked on to the soil on which The Doctor stands.

The leader of the platoon, BESTRAL, approaches The Doctor and extends his hand in a gesture of friendship

 BESTRAL

Doctor, I am Captain Bestral, on behalf of the high council, I welcome you back…

The Doctor has no time for pleasantries, especially from this type of person. He quickly takes a few steps backwards back into the barn and slams the door firmly shut, leaving the guards flabbergasted.

BESTRAL

Put me through to the High Council

CUT TO:

  1. INT-HIGH COUNCIL CHAMBER-DAY

Bestral is granted an audience with the assembled Time Lords. The President a tad overeager for progress to be made. His iron gauntlet shimmers with sheer power as if to more clearly convey his frustration as he tries to maintain a sense of composure.

LORD PRESIDENT

Why do you delay?

BESTRAL

                 He is being… difficult…Lord President, as you had foreseen

The President turns to The General, his features contorted as he juggles disbelief and paranoia.

LORD PRESIDENT

What does he want?

THE GENERAL

What any victim of the confession trials want and seldom never receive my Lord…a reckoning.

CUT TO:

  1. INT-BARN-DAY

The child that had noted The Doctor’s sadness from earlier spots the Time Lord searching through a casket. He removes several items, including several fob watches and an Edwardian era Jacket. At one point, he finds a packet of Jelly Babies. He takes a few out and offers them to the boy.

THE DOCTOR

Care for one?

CHILD

No one’s supposed to touch anything in there

THE DOCTOR

Because a grownup said so?

CHILD

We have to obey orders, they say we’ll become soldiers one day

THE DOCTOR

How long has it been since this planet last saw war?

CHILD

They say war is as eternal as time.

THE DOCTOR

And just like time…it inevitably passes.

The Doctor finds what he is looking for, a musical instrument, a wooden, six string guitar, he plays a solemn version of Clara’s theme on it. The children all gather around him as he plays, transfixed by the occasion. Even The Woman, trying to maintain a semblance of structure and attempting to pry the children’s attention away from The Doctor, cannot help but be moved.

CHILD

There was such sadness in your eyes…now there is pain in this song. This one, does it have a name?

The Doctor spots something in the crate, the small soldier figurine from “Listen”, he stares at it, a sense of longing in his ancient face

THE DOCTOR

I think it’s called…Clara

A voice from behind the door swiftly interrupts them

BESTRON

Doctor, this is your last warning. Accompany us to the capital, or we will be forced to remove you from this dwelling by force

CHILD

What are you going to do?

The Doctor begins playing a different track on the guitar, “Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky”

THE DOCTOR

Don’t worry, it’s empty words. I trust them to follow their conscious. They know what I did in the last war.

CHILD

What did you do?

THE DOCTOR

I did some counting

  1. INT-HIGH COUNCIL CHAMBER

We find the President  is again in great distress, his frustration knows no limits as the guards delay outside the hut

LORD PRESIDENT

Who do they think he is to warrant more delay?

THE GENERAL

The man who won the time war sir

Ohlia and the Sisterhood of Karn enter the chamber, flanked by guards

OHLIA

I see The Doctor’s homecoming has not come without it’s inevitable problems

LORD PRESIDENT

He blame us for the horrors he faced in the confession dial

OHLIA

No, not at all..he just blames YOU

CUT TO:

  1. INT-HUT-DAY

The Doctor is perched on a straw bed, hearing the music he’d been playing earlier played back to him by the child, who he is now allowing to play with the guitar. He hears another loud hum overhead. He steadily rises to his feet, he seems to know this is the kind of  house call he had been desiring. His reckoning is here

  1. EXT-HUT-DAY

The President of the Time Lords, flanked by Bestron and his guards, stand outside the hut

  1. INT-HUT-DAY

The Doctor takes the Edwardian jacket from the pile left on the floor and puts it on. He make his way to the door. The woman and children are there to greet him. The woman is conflicted, not wanting to defy the President, but does not desire The Doctor to give himself up when he has brought much joy to her children.

WOMAN

He’s waiting for you…I don’t think we should delay any further. If you knew the stories about what he can do…I don’t wish for that on the boys, you understand of course.

THE DOCTOR

Yes. I know. This is where we part, thank you for all you’ve done for me

The child, still holding the guitar in his right hand, tugs at The Doctor’s coat with his left.

CHILD

Will we see you again?

THE DOCTOR

In time…and maybe in space. It’s a big universe. You could do with running straight into it when you’re older

The Doctor pats the child on the head and boldly takes steps to exit the Hut.

CUT TO:

  1. EXT-HUT-DAY

The bright searing Gallifreyan sunlight bursts forth and some of its rays illuminate the tense showdown between The Doctor and the President

LORD PRESIDENT

We did not go to this much trouble for you to create discord upon your return

THE DOCTOR

Get off my planet

The President laughs

LORD PRESIDENT

You have no gratitude. Were it not for my orders, you would not standing before me now with a new face…a new life

THE DOCTOR

This face is old, this life is scarred. Also by your orders. Another life has been lost. I do not forget these deeds.

LORD PRESIDENT

Your companion’s death was a result of her own reckless overconfidence

THE DOCTOR

You set a trap for me and she walked straight into it

LORD PRESIDENT

We required your assistance

THE DOCTOR

You could have summoned me

LORD PRESIDENT

And give our location away to our enemies? We are more vulnerable now than ever Doctor, we have seen much conflict since returning to this universe. Many have tried to stand in Gallifrey’s ruins.

THE DOCTOR

There were other ways

LORD PRESIDENT

You would have been difficult to deal with if merely summoned. You may not have been willing to tell us all you know about the Hybrid, a danger to us all

THE DOCTOR

The Hybrid was a story

LORD PRESIDENT

Every story ever told is history Doctor, history that has either been prevented by us, or history that is bound to happen if we leave it unchecked

THE GENERAL

You said you were the Hybrid Doctor

THE DOCTOR

Yes I did, and no, I didn’t. Have you been paying attention to history?

LORD PRESIDENT

Tell us what you know

THE DOCTOR

Get off my planet

LORD PRESIDENT

Gallifrey is mine

The President raises his iron glove, it begins to glow

THE GENERAL

Lord President, please, this is not the way

THE DOCTOR

No, let him sic his mitten on me, it’s bringing out the colour in those ice-cold cheeks

LORD PRESIDENT

I do not jest Doctor, I shall go to any lengths to get the truth. In the confession dial you died time and again…and where we come from, time has no desire to leave the dead alone.

The Doctor stands firm, we continuously CUT BETWEEN CLOSE-UPS of the two staring intently at each other, neither backing down from what they mean or say.

Finally, one Time Lord can stand it no longer.

GENERAL

Lord President, do not-

The President unleashes a sudden burst of energy from his glove, the General throws himself into the line of fire and becomes a smouldering wisp of smoke and ash.

The Doctor catches the President unawares with a firm right hook, the President falls to the floor, The Doctor places one foot soundly on his glove as guards swarm over them

The Doctor removes the President’s glove

THE DOCTOR

Take a look at what he is willing to do here, make a choice.

The Doctor stares at the remnants of the General’s clothes, a pained yet stern and commanding presence on his face as he recalls the smoke pouring from Clara’s corpse in “FACE THE RAVEN”

The soldiers drop their weapons and pick up the fallen President, restraining him, their choice made

LORD PRESIDENT

I am Rassilon, the redeemer, Rassilon the resurrected, Gallifrey is mine. You will obey me!

THE DOCTOR

Noone is your servant and you are not The Master, and I mean that quite literally. You do not rule over these men or any other. Not any longer.

Rassilon is taken back to his ship, he looks over at the children staring back at him. The young boy plays ‘Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky’ on the guitar

THE DOCTOR

Nicely played kid.

BESTRAL:

My Lord Doctor, shall I order the potion mixers back at the capital to prepare the General for resurrection?

THE DOCTOR

No, no soldier, he’s  earned his rest. Even as it comes to claim us all, it’s best for life and time if we merely leave the dead to dust.

 

Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows-When Gravity Had Seldom Mercy

amazing_spider-man_renew_your_vows_vol_1_1_ant-sized_variant

WHEN GRAVITY HAD SELDOM MERCY

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS

TEN YEARS EARLIER

In dreams, you can fly.

For Peter Parker, his entire adult life had been the personification of that dream

Soaring high above the city in his guise as Spider-Man, swinging with almost no cares for the world below.

Almost no cares.

And then the realization dawned on him as he swung past the Empire State Building.

His favourite spot to be with his favourite person.

A person he’d been left waiting back at the Coffee Bean for the better part of two and a half hours.

That’s the price you pay for engaging in a less than pacy pursuit with an aging Adrian Tooms.

Peter threw every bit of energy he hadn’t spent yet in making it back to the Coffee Bean, only to find it had closed up for the night.

Changing back into his civvies in the cold brisk February evening at the back of the alleyway didn’t do much for his dignity, but at least it wasn’t going to shred it.

Peter took his trusty bike and drove back down the road that stretched back to Queens, where he caught sight of his favourite Aunt talking to his favourite person. Mary Jane Watson.

He drove up and hastily got off the bike to meet her as she caught sight of him and tried to put some distance between them. Peter wasn’t about to let her go, not without giving her an apt opportunity to pounce on him.

He loved it when she displayed some temper.

“MJ, I am so sorry” he said

“Save it. Flash took me home. In a car”

“What’s wrong with my bike?” Peter asked

“More to the point, what’s wrong with you Tiger?” MJ asked, pointing at his chest with a sharp finger.

Peter thought on his feet. “I made a promise to someone” he said

“Another one?”

Peter nodded

“Did you let them down too?”

Peter’s mind raced back to the socialite who’s valuables were stolen by Tooms, and during the scuffle between him and The Vulture, the crook had dropped the valuables down a chimney.

“I kinda did, yeah, I’m not going to start lying”

Now anyway” MJ said.

“Yeah” Peter remarked.

Mary Jane sighed.

“Look Pete, you and I…I don’t think it’s working out”

“You want to talk about working out? I’ve got this killer gym membership…”

Not the time for jokes Pete” MJ said, cutting him off.

“The only good timing I have is comic timing”

“See, that’s the hardest thing about this…’cause you make me laugh so much” MJ replied.

“Best medicine that” Peter replied.

“Flash advised me to read you the riot act..but I just can’t do it. I don’t think your mental reality can take stark reality…and I don’t think I could do without your kind of crazy”

“At least here sanity prevails” Peter said, taking MJ’s hand in his and gently kissing the tip of it.

“Something always comes up with you. The important thing is you always try to make up for it…and that’s the kind of promise you can do with keeping…because one day you may want to make an even bigger promise”

Peter glanced up at the night sky

“Look” he said

MJ turned her head and stared upwards, they both fixated their gaze on the sparkling moon above.

“That’s what I promise you. Every time. Every moment I spend with you, night and day, you take me there…one day, I promise, they’ll be no limit to where we can go”

TEN YEARS LATER

In dreams, you can fly.

In life, you land hard

And ten years ago, gravity seldom had mercy.

As Peter hung on for dear life as The Vulture soared through the city, through a crisp February night, Peter’s webbing tagged to his right foot, he thought how far things had come in the past decade, he couldn’t help but think of that night, and what he had promised.

He stared upwards at the moon above and wondered if this would be the last time he’d be taken there.

And then another strand of webbing attached itself to the Vulture’s left foot, and out of nowhere a vicious red-headed vixen was propelled from the nearby rooftops and joined Spidey in flight.

“Hey Tiger, what’s up?” said MJ as she crawled upwards and reached out towards the back of the bag attached to Toom’s back, pulling out the jewellery he had stolen from yet another socialite. She tucked it neatly into a small satchel at her right side.

“Hey, I made a promise I’d hand that back” said Peter.

“Oh let me hand it back Tiger, after all, we share all our promises”

Beneath the mask he wore, Peter’s face beamed with pride.

Behind the mask MJ wore, her eyes sparked with affection and love.

As Spider-Man and his wife Spinneret clung to The Vulture and soared elegantly across the sky, they elected to give the brash bird of prey an additional few minutes of great struggle just to take in the exquisite sight of the moon high above them.

Watching them from afar from a nearby window was their daughter, Annie May, in the midst of getting changed for bed as it was a school night, she was slightly perplexed at why it was taking them so long to apprehend Adrian.

She glanced upwards and spotted the cause.

“Oh great, full moon, that means everyone’s going stir crazy” she said with a groan, the significance of the sight all but lost on her naive adolescent sense of self.

When she came of age, she would come to understand.

To her, the moon was a conventional wonder of the world.

To her parents, it represented a grand promise.

In the past her mother had taken her father there on many an occasion when he felt like gravity had no mercy.

But now that they were together, in sickness, health, power, and responsibility, there was no limit to where they could go.

Bob’s Burgers-The End Is The Beginning

belchers

 

BOB’S BURGERS

THE END IS THE BEGINNING

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS

(Contains Spoilers For “Bob Actually”)

As Louise received the hot tag from Ollie as the game of tag intensified, she knew that her role on the playground as of this moment was to be the personification of unparalleled terror.

The other kids knew just how devious she could be at administrating her own take on a tag. It wouldn’t just come up with a light prodding of her finger upon a part of the body. Oh no.

It would come with a tackle, a trust, a harsh cold slap across the cheek. It would be physical, it would be painful.

She was usually not in the business of dealing with the pleasantries of playtime. Louise Belcher was all about injecting a dose of chaos into the more tranquil activities during school hours.

After all, to her School was very trying. Why should anyone work off their stress when said stress would just start mounting up again as soon as they re-entered the classroom?

The kids scattered in all directions, except Andy and Ollie, who desired Louise to tag them so they could selfishly keep the game all to themselves, tagging one another until eternity caved in. Louise ignored them and pursued others on the playground.

Ultimately, though she stopped in her track.

Every world she paid attention to, the ones centred on the game, the playground, and the stress all caved in as she saw a solemn figure on one of the swings nearby, nimbly swaying back and forth and humming a faint little melody to himself.

Louise could faintly make it out. It was The Right Stuff from New Kids On The Block.

She only knew about that from the kind of music listened to by the father of her best friend.

She walked over to the boy on the swings, perched herself on the swing next to him and nudged him on the shoulder

“Hey buddy, what’s got you down?” she asked Rudy.

“Oh hey Louise, I was just thinking about life…and life, life again, ’till I’m kind of full of it”

“C’mon, life’s always kicking you in your perfect teeth, do me a favour and bite it right back” Louise replied.

“Oh I will…someone has to. I just wish it had been my third cousin”

“What happened with him?” Louise asked.

“He died this morning.”

Louise shuddered as a chill coursed through her veins.

“Major apologies man, death’s a kicker”

“Guess I’ll be using your poem for the funeral” Rudy replied, referring to the one she had written for their class project

“Hey, no, that’s morbid, you’re the guy that brings spoons to a gunfight, ready to make breakfast out of things that are hard to swallow, you can write something much better than that” Louise replied.

“Maybe I could talk a little about the disease he was fighting, how it made him a little desperate to die, but that he wanted everyone to go on living. He thought so selflessly…makes you wish we were all like that”

“Hey, living takes effort, especially with the low-lives you wind up having to put up with”

“Yeah, we’ve all had our fair share” Rudy spoke in agreement.

“Hey Belcher, get back in the game” snapped one obese kid on the playground as the two remained seated at the swings.

“Your tag is gonna come hard and heavy lardo” Louise retorted. Rudy laughed, then gasped for breath, Louise quickly rummaged through his pockets and gave him his inhaler.

“Thanks” he said, “You always bring me back from the brink of death”

“Hey, it’s me, the girl who breathed life into you on valentine’s day, you can always trust me to keep you going” Louise replied.

“I was thinking…if I ever got the same disease my cousin had, at any point, I’d like you to make the call on whether I should live or not.”

Louise tried to keep herself composed, she wasn’t the best at dealing with raw emotional dilemmas

“Are all your bat stir crazy breathing problems affecting your brain? Don’t ever ask me to do something like that Rudy ” she said

“You’re a cool cat Louise, there’d be no pressure with you” Rudy assured her.

“Yeah, but it’d mean letting you off life’s leash, I’d sooner reserve that for jerk offs like Logan”

“You said you’d end me, I’m holding you to that”

“That was only if you ever told anyone I kissed you” Louise whispered, not wanting anyone to hear her.

“Belcher, come on” cried out another kid as everyone scattered across the playground became restless with their impatience.

“Maybe it’s best you go play, don’t worry about me”

“I like worrying about you buddy…besides, you’re it”

Rudy suddenly remembered that when Louise had nudged him earlier, she was still playing the game, even though she had brought no terror to his doorstep.

He smiled, and nudged her back.

“You’ve still got it” he said, and darted off.

“Ah, so you DO want me to end you. Tell you what Rudy…in this situation, I can arrange all manner of methods I can satisfy your demand”

“Come and kill me” said Rudy.

Elated to be free of a moral dilemma that was best left to their adult days, Louise shot like a bullet towards Rudy as he darted around the other kids, who likewise took off, thinking Louise would eventually target them.

Louise had other plans, she knew Rudy would take her one step beyond her usual spots, he would let her pursue him across all other layers of the school he was accustomed to visiting, and she hoped that when he ran out of breath, they would be in a place so secure she would have the opportunity to once more breathe life into him as their lips came together once more.

For him, she was Alpha and Omega. The beginning, and the end.

And for her that end would only lead to the beginning.

Bob’s Burgers-The Living End

belchers

BOB’S BURGERS

THE LIVING END

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS

(This contains spoilers for “Bob Actually”)


“Louise honey, did you finish your poem for school yet?” Linda asked her youngest daughter.

“Not yet Mom” Louise replied.

“Let me know when you have” Linda said.

Louise had struggled all week to come up with something for her school project, the challenge was to write a poem based on the themes of mortality, death and grief, and it had to come from the heart. Conveniently enough, there had been some inspiration for her recently.

“How’s the funeral coming along?” Louise asked of her mother.

“Oh you know how your father is with relatives of a friend, he’ll want to be the designated driver”

“Of the hearse I hope”

“Don’t be silly dear, his pals will all be encouraged to give their dearly departed a spiked salute, once that’s done they’ll be in no state to drive, so your father will be taking them all home”

“Ah he ought to give them all a hellfire ride downtown, put them all in a death-defying mood”

“Oh honey, breaking the law afterwards isn’t going to take anything off the mind of your father before he arrives there”

“Why not?”

“He thinks he’s obligated to give some sort of a speech…it’s funny because he really didn’t know too well, either that or too much time has passed and his memories of spending time with him have lapsed”

“A real trip down amnesia lane huh?”

“Yeah, it’s a shame, there’s so many things that you think you’ll treasure forever, but the passage of time really leaves you out of touch sometimes”

Louise resumed work on her poem. Eventually, she printed it out and showed it to her mother, who approved of it in the obligatory prideful manner that most moms would, and sent Louise off on her way to school.

As she walked down the street, she carefully read the poem aloud to herself

“Death is a stinkhold

I tell you no lies

Once it’s applied

You’ll do nothing but cry”

Louise thought long and hard about what brought her to convey such thoughts to paper, a frightful situation experienced by the brave soul that was her brother Gene, stepping in to take the feared move on behalf of his terrified sister at the hands of her nemesis Logan, one of few men she had ever shed a tear in front of.

A humiliating moment that had brought a disquiet to her feisty soul.

As she mulled over her poem, she suddenly bumped into someone walking up towards her. Just as she was about to fall backwards and hit the concrete, this person reached out and grabbed her by the arm, propelling her forward and preventing her from collapsing.

Louise stared up at her rescuer. Regular Sized Rudy, his face still bearing a red hot handprint, Louise’s handprint, from their fateful valentine’s day encounter.

“Hey slugger, thanks for keeping me off the concrete” she said

“You going to shake my hand with that one, or shatter my face with it this time?” Rudy asked, pointing to her hand that he had clasped in his own.

Louise smiled, and swiftly shook it.

“You got your poem ready for school?” he asked.

“Sure do, come on, let’s exchange” Louise suggested.

The two did so, Rudy reading Louise’s out first.

“That’s a killer” he said

“Well it fits the theme don’t it?” said Louise, swiftly turning her attention to Rudy’s poem

It’s a very different sort of dark

When we deal with the loss of light

The moments we reflect most fondly on

Are our courage in the fight

As time takes eternal steps ahead

And as we move as one with it

We pray our kindest days before

Provide us with due credit

We reflect, we rise, we raise a toast

As winter turns to spring

A little early to call on the sun

But these times demand we sing

We close our eyes, we let our day slip

We know this procedure all too well

What we take from it is a moment

Where we realize there’s still much more to tell

The stories, the legends, the place souls lost to us hold

Our minds, our hearts, our spirits soar

As love decays grief’s pure cold

Louise was taken aback. The poem was elegant, beautifully composed, and above all else, hopeful.

“Do you mind if I use your poem?”

“For class? Sure I guess, least I can do for that kiss you gave me” said Rudy.

“No, not for class, my Dad needs some A-material to read at a funeral”

“Sure, if you think it’ll bring some life to that kind of party”

Louise gave Rudy’s face a tender stroke with the hand she had used to slap him

“When it comes to planting a note of dignity on death little buddy, you’re what I’d call the living end”

The other side of Rudy’s face began to beam as red as his other side as another kiss graced his lips and the merciless hand of Louise thrust itself upon his features.