Tag Archives: professor squawkencluck

Danger Mouse-Squawk/Penfold: Higher Love [AMV]

If you’ve read any of my Danger Mouse fanfics on here or on FF.Net, you knew this was coming eventually…as soon as “A Fistful of Penfolds” aired I was on this.

password: penfold

There’s always something gratifying about your fanon theories being proven right…either the showrunners caught wind of my fics (something I’ve often suspected of certain other professionals in the industry) or someone’s very like-minded. Apparently there’s a mixture of different head writers on the current season of Danger Mouse (2015) so who knows what’s going on in their heads..I’m just glad this one idea finally popped into theirs.

So yeah, I got into a debate with a non-‘shipper over just how much of this told us about Squawk’s feelings for Penfold in the show…I mean, devoting a whole testing facility to a replacement sidekick for DM in Penfold’s image, using them as whipping boys…something about that smelt fishy to me (or smelt like a finely grilled hen), almost as if Squawk wanted to replace Penfold so she could have him all to herself.

And then of course, there’s the bit where she says “I could kiss you” to Penfold, with Penfold reciprocating and Squawk backing out at the last minute…if she only considered Penfold a friend, she would not have made the first move there and provoked him into that romantic gesture…and, hell, I guess this also means Penfold and Scarlet Johamster really did break up in their last episode together in the previous season.

So yeah, very happy camper, and hopefully it’s not the end of more direct Squawk/Penfold hints to come (“License to Care” showed Squawk throwing a party for her lab on the same day as Penfold’s birthday so obviously we ain’t done yet)

Danger Mouse-The Mouse Behind The Curtain (fanfic)





(Contains spoilers for “Dark Side of the Mouse”)

Well, apologies are in order aren’t they DM?

“I’m glad you agree narrator” said DM as he and Penfold made their way back to headquarters, having saved the world from the grip of the cretinous Crumhorn and a mind-controlling device that made even myself turn against the world’s greatest secret agent and ridicule him, but he managed to overcome all obstacles after leading a team consisting of members of his reviled rogues gallery, whom he’s left up on Crumhorn’s space station dueling with one another over who should take the credit for the heroic deeds Danger Mouse has pulled off.

“All single-handidly I might add” said DM.

“Single handidly?” Penfold asked, slightly baffled, “But Chief, you had help, from them, from me”

“Now now Penfold, let’s not leave things to technicalities, they helped in part, but I’m the main cog in this wheel, and it’s me that’s kept everything spinning”

“Sometimes Chief, just by knowing what you’re like, I get the strangest feeling that when the Danger Agency ganged up on you after Crumhorn took over, they weren’t brainwashed” Penfold noted.

The Mark III flew back into headquarters and DM and Penfold made their way to the lab to rendevouz with Squawkencluck.

“Professor?” asked DM as Squawk threw darts at imagery of Crumhorn on the survelance monitors.

“The nerve of that Crum bum” she said

“I think you’ll find his name is Crumhorn Professor” corrected Danger Mouse.

“He even wanted me to call him Crummy” Squawkencluck said in a fit of emotional release, taking the container of darts and tossing them to the floor.

Penfold walked over to her and gave us a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“Nevermind Professor”

“That’s precisely what I was Penfold, I was never in the right mind because of that device, and I turned against you and everything I worked hard to secure. To think the episode ended without any of us being recalled in the casting sheet to say sorry to you and Danger Mouse and to reward him for single handidly saving the Earth”

“You seem awfully complimentary Professor” said Danger Mouse.

“I just felt the sudden urge to” said Squawkencluck.

“Really now?” Penfold said, folding his arms and huffing.

Colonel K’s hologram lit up and he urged Danger Mouse to come to his office for a special reward. Penfold opted to stay with Squawkencluck.

“Go ahead Chief, the Professor’s in a real state, it’s best she lean on a friend’s shoulder”

Squawkencluck promptly accepted the invitation and buried her head atop the right shoulder, her frustrations over being emotionally compromised moisting the sleeves of his right arm. Penfold’s lip quivered and he too felt the urge to emote.

Danger Mouse, courageous and confident, steeled himself for his encounter with the Colnel.

“I have to admit, you really are being quite courteous to me today”

“Well you single handily saved the day Danger Mouse”

“I know, I feel like I ought to thank people for making that all possible, my enemies, my assistant, my writers, the CBBC staff who introduce my show every week..but I feel the sudden urge to bypass all of that. Anyway, time to get what’s coming to me”

He entered the Colnel’s office, the door slammed shut behind him, and greeting him was every Danger Agent armed to the gritted teeth with clubs and mallets.

“Colnel, are you still under Crumhorn’s mind control?” asked an alert DM.

“I think you’ll find this entire office is now immune to brainwave tampering DM…but it’s not so safe for you” the Colonel assured him.

A monitor in the office came to life and the Professor and Penfold, seated comfortably in their seats munching down on a bag of popcorn, greeted him.

“I’ve been tracking the readings of the mind altering device since it went offline, small vestiges of it are still active, and they’re responding to commands from you” Squawkencluck revealed.

“You used the psychic bran scrambler to get everyone to lavish praise on you. For some reason, I wasn’t affected, but the narrator and Squawk were…luckily, Squawk realized what was going on and alerted the Colonel just before you arrived” said Penfold.

“All this time we thought you were the great and powerful…we never took into consideration that we were puppets on a string, made to the dance to the merry tune of the mouse behind the curtain” said the Colonel.

“You’ll get your thanks for saving the world in due course Danger Mouse, but we do need to teach you that fine lesson, that you must leave your ego at the door” said Danger Moth with a hint of dread and empathy in her voice.

“But, but I did’nt do anything, I felt the urge as much as you did to take all the credit for myself…I had nothing to do with it”

“Then who did?” asked Danger Moth.

“Someone who clearly wants my fame to be my misfortune…and there’s only one person I can think of who’s obsesed with fame. Duckula”

DM led the Danger Agents out of Mayfare and, pitchforks and rotten tomatoes in hand (the critics of Rotten Tomatoes, not actual rotten tomatoes), they stormed Castle Duckula in Transylevania.

Witnessing the Danger Agency arriving at his doorstep, Count Duckula severed the connection he had with the mind control device, swung his throne around and leapt out of it, heading to a secret passage. He instructed someone in a scarlet coat to see their way out.

“Go, your neck’s on the line here, and not from a dose of my feindish fangs, if they catch you here, your reputation’s sunk like the Titanic…sorry I could’nt give DM the razzie he deserved for embarrasing you”

The cloaked figure held the Count’s hand and gave him a tender kiss on the cheek, before vanishing through the door and down the long corridor.

As the Danger Agents crashed through the door with a battering ram, the cloacked figure made it outside just as a raging commotion commenced in the castle. The figure pulled the hood back, revealing the sollem features of Jeoparday Mouse, watching the castle eagerly ..before common sense dictated that she get a move on.

All she wanted was to gain revenge on Danger Mouse for editing her portion of reality in a previous episode, framing her for embarrassing her superior officer. Duckula already had an existing soft spot for her, she felt he would make the appropriate ally.

She walked from the scene with many thoughts playing through her head, how she had refused to keep her own ego in check in an attempt to make DM’s occasional ego trips his undoing, how she sided with a known felon because he would rather place his life in hers.

She knew she had made many compromises, played with many lives, and she resolved that in future missions she would never make such mistakes again, least it poisoned her soul.

She vowed there would be no further lives put at risk of ruin within her own.

So we end this session of Danger Mouse back in the lab, with the Professor and Penfold watching the scuffle in the castle, taking handfuls of popcorn out of the bag, settling in and admiring the spectacle of a comfort fight with comfort foods.

Can I have one?

“No narrator” said Squawk

But I suddenly have an urge to eat

“Oh for heaven’s sake, has that device not been switched off yet?” said an annoyed Squawkencluck.

Curse you Jeopardy.

“Why are you cursing her? She wasn’t even in this episode” said Penfold.

Oh if only you knew the mouse behind the curtain Penfold.

Danger Mouse-Authors of Pain [Fanfiction]




(Contains Spoilers for “Colonel Danger Mouse”)

In the cafeteria of the Danger Agency headquarters, two close friends were exchanging choice words about the world’s most untrustworthy former head agent.

“The nerve of him, the sheer nerve of him” complained Danger Moth as she took another bite of the chips recovered from Baron Greenback’s island resort, beckoning Professor Squawkencluck for a bottle of ketchup.

“You think the nerve of that mouse can unnerve you, think of what his ham-fisted hamster friend said to me as soon as I took charge” she said, reflecting on Penfold critiquing her attempts at preparing the Agency for the chip crisis.

“You’d think the males in this agency would get the memo by now, we don’t need to take instruction from those that can’t take it well themselves” Danger Moth continued, before a sharp pain shot through her mouth.

“Anything the matter?” asked Sqauwkencluck

“I’ve only gone and bit down hard on a tooth I got smoothed over today at the dentist. She told me not to chew down on anything too hard, but after the chewing out I got from the front office, I’m in no real mood to take it easy on anything”

The two girls calmed themselves and sought other topics to cover, but everything came back around to the urgent mission they were presently on.

“You think Col. K was serious when he told us to consume all of the chips transferred back to headquarters?” Danger Moth asked.

“I’m pretty sure this was a command direct from Danger Mouse before he stepped down” replied Squawkencluck.

“The absolute madmouse, is he aware of the figure I’m trying to keep?” Danger Moth responded, once more slightly irritated.

Danger Mouse entered the cafeteria, opting to inspect how the mission he had placed upon the Agency’s finest was coming along.

Danger Moth spotted him, and steadily rose from her seat, planning to sneak up upon the agent who’s brash ego had gotten in the way of her attempts to prevent landmarks from being shrunk and collected by Greenback.

Squawkencluck grabbed her arm and gave her a stealthy and cautionary gaze, urging her to sit perfectly still and not cause much incident.

Danger Mouse turned and spotted Danger Moth resume her seat, and waved over to her.

“I was hoping I’d find you here” he said.

“I was hoping to do my job without you looming over my shoulder instructing me on how to pull it off sir” Danger Moth replied venomously.

Danger Mouse sighed, “Yes, about that, I wanted to apologize Danger Moth, it was my confidence getting in the way of your expertise. I should have trusted you to do things your way”

“Your confidence? That’s what you’re calling your ego these days?” replied Danger Moth.

Danger Mouse let out an unnerved chuckle.

“My ego? Don’t be ridiculous, we’re all conditioned to be a little selfless you know” he said.

“Then you won’t mind me being a little selfless now, have a handful on me mate” Danger Moth said, grabbing a plateful of chips, mashing them up in her hands, and thrusting them in Danger Mouse’s mouth.

DM buckled and spat them all out in rapid-fire succession, pinning Danger Moth to the wall.

Squwkencluck couldn’t help but laugh, which reminded her of what she and Penfold had gotten up to when Danger Mouse had first taken up duties at Col. K’s desk dressed in the un-snazziest of suits.

Being reminded of sharing laughter together compelled Squwkencluck to get up and seek Penfold out, with the aim of apologizing.

Danger Mouse walked over to the stricken Danger Moth and pulled her off the wall.

“Apologies again for this particular serving” said Danger Mouse.

Danger Moth looked a little down.

“No, I still think you’re at fault sir, but I should not have stepped out of line like that, especially when I read the report on how you used that same technique to put things right and apprehend the Baron” Danger Moth replied.

“Perhaps I can serve you better this evening, with a little of that earl grey mix you look to cosy up to during first run episodes of Quality Street, and some mash to go with it”

“I hope you’re not going to make the mash off the writing on this wall” Danger Moth joked, pointing to the regurgitated concoction that she had been pried away from.

“I think we’ve authored enough pain between us for one taxing day” assured Danger Mouse, and kissed her right hand.

Danger Moth let him cross his right arm with hers and lead her out of the dining room.

Danger Mouse-‘Till The Cows Come Home



Disclaimer: Danger Mouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC

Is that wicked Weevil gone?

“Yes, narrator” said DM.

Really? You promise?

“My word is my bound” assured DM.


Now that it’s safe to come out again, let me be the first to congratulate you, the reader, on surviving the relentless mystical onslaught of the Queen of the Weevils with the rest of us. That witch was a handful, oh if only I hadn’t been narrating that flashback, she may never have been imprisoned in the first place.

“Yes, but if this Dangerous Muppet over here hadn’t reassembled the crystal she had been trapped in, she wouldn’t have gotten out” replied a very badly tempered Professor Squawkencluck.

“Let’s be reasonable people about this Professor, there’s always two sides to every story” said DM.

“Yeah, and you’re the type who’s stories always stick out at the sides” noted the Professor sarcastically.

“At least the whole experience made a believer out of you right Chief?” said DM’s trusty assistant Penfold.

“He’ll believe in a whole different sort of world than that of magic once he looks into my eyes and asks me an honest question…whatever happened to my Conveniantium handcuffs?” asked Squawkencluck, her face glowing a crimson red.

“Ah yes, I was just getting to that, I wouldn’t want you to be cheesed off Professor” joked DM.

“Now’s not the time to play the clown Chief, you already did that on Monday remember?” said Penfold, trying to calm the Professor’s nerves by taking her red hot hand and dampening it with a cold wet sponge.

“Yes, well Professor, all I can ask you to do is wait until I’ve prepared a full and reasonably logical answer”

“You had until the cows came home” said the Professor, “That was Tuesday. This little crisis aside, you’re out of time, and I’m just about to nip over to the Baron’s cell and ask him directly what happened to the handcuffs”

“Look, why don’t I make both of you some piping hot cups of Tetley Tea?” asked Penfold.

“Product placement now Penfold?” said DM.

“At least products know their place” snapped Squawkencluck

“Oh crumbs Chief, can’t you two ever get along?” replied a frustrated Penfold, folding his arms and tilting his head up and frowning.

“Are you turning your nose up at us?” asked DM.

“Never mind, I’ve got it” said Squawkencluck, and pinched Penfold’s nose with her right hand.

Penfold instantly embarked on a panicked dash across the room, wondering just where his nose had gotten to, still unable to comprehend that it was still attached to his face.

Squawkencluck allowed her eyes to roll over at the sad sight in front of her.

DM, however, could detect she was enjoying it.

“I couldn’t help but notice how playful you were with Penfold today Professor” DM observed.

“Don’t push those buttons DM, we’re all professionals here, I have little time for opening up in that way around you, him, or anyone” said Squawkencluck.

“You saw fit to tell us about your fear of clowns, so that disproves that” said DM.

“Ok, so I like to pick on Penfold, at least he’s more amusing than the everyday migraine I get from you. Satisfied?” asked the Professor as she walked over to Penfold.

“Very, now are you going to reattach his nose?” asked DM.

“Are you going to tell me where my handcuffs are?” asked the Professor.

“I’d rather milk that for all it’s worth” said DM.

“You’re trying to give me clues to the explanation in your jokes aren’t you?” asked the Professor, gently pulling Penfold close to her and placing her hand on his nose, giving Penfold the illusion of having restored it.

“I should never underestimate your powers Professor” said Penfold.

“And I should not underestimate how impeccably skilled your best friend is at evading the simplest questions” said Squawkencluck

“Professor, I think that’s udderly ridiculous” said DM.

Suddenly, the holographic projection of Col. K illuminated the room.

“We’ve got dire problems DM, there’s been a looting at a Turkey airport”

“Don’t you mean Turkish airport Colonel?” asked DM.

“No, a Turkey airport, one of the species-specific terminals that just opened up in the city, we need you to get back their valuables”

“I’m on it Chief” said DM, promptly darting out of the room.

Before Penfold joined him, he gave the Professor a thumbs up.

“Next time we have a conversation, he’d better not be talking turkey” said the Professor.

“It’s probably for the best you take away the source of his sense of smell if you smell something very fishy” said Penfold.

“You know, Penfold, you don’t have to take my magic tricks at face value” replied the Professor.

“Then where does the fun go in magic if you don’t embrace the illusion as if it were reality?” asked Penfold, “You can take my nose any day, because I trust that your helping hand will put it right back where it belongs”

With that, Penfold dashed out of the room after the Chief, leaving Squawkencluck feeling much better.

In the meantime, I, your humble narrator, am glad the evil Weevil Queen has been sealed off and placed within the badge attached to DM’s whimsically white attire.

I’ve seen worse places she could have ended up in.

It could have been a Blue Peter badge.

Danger Mouse-Danger At C Level (Fanedit)

Time for some more fanediting fun.

You’ve seen plenty of fanfiction from me in the past several months about this show, some of you may be familiar with it, but for those who aren’t…well, consider this your “in”

Danger Mouse is one of those truly unique success stories…a British cartoon that’s just as legendary in the States as it is in the UK, courtesy of being aired in the infancy of Nickelodeon back in the 80s (it’s later spin-off, Count Duckula, would gain equal f not greater fame), and now with it’s 2015 revival, it aims to hit the spot with a whole new generation when it eventually makes it over to Netflix.

For the time being, it can be seen on early mornings on the CBBC channel, and the first few episodes have made it to DVD…which brings us to this short edit, as it comes shortly after my purchase of that DVD.

Not much has been altered for this episode of DM, I shaved off barely a minute after the title card and added in the opening act of the pilot episode as a pre-credits teaser.