Tag Archives: steven moffat

Doctor Who-World Enough and Time [Fanedit]

Thirteen

Nice tits Hartnell.

 

Well, something cheif among Sidney Newman’s final requests for the show has come to pass [another desire was retro generation, we’ll cover that eventually in my lifetime too I’m sure…probably once Tennant runs out of lucky dimes over in Duckberg], congratulation to Jodi Whittiker as she takes a man’s key and inserts it into her hole to spread her legs across the milky way.

 

…What do you mean that came out wrong?

Anyhoo, don’t think of this edit as a part of my series ten revisited series, I already have an altogether different plan for the finale of that particular series…no, no this is strictly some quick fun I  opted to have with the series ten finale.

Since it aired, I have always felt the ideal opportunity was to have had Capaldi make a surprise exit in ”The Doctor Falls”..why should he rehash the resistance to change when Eleven assured us that we must always keep moving and never forget who we were? Capaldi spending sixty minutes moaning about it fresh off us eating our Christmas dinner may not be what happens, but it’ll form part of it, and I think that’s such a shame…better to go out in a blaze of grace

A lot of the edits you’ll see here will show up in my revisited version, but not all of them, and the first and latter halves is pretty much note for note unaltered aside from a couple of nips and tucks to join the episodes up, and of course, a very special ending.

I need to go back to the kitchen now…and Jodi needs to go back to the TARDIS…and towards the future.

password: tardis

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Doctor Who: Series Ten Revisited-The Pilot [Fanedit]

 

Pilot

And so we have arrived, in two weeks time, in another place, The Doctor WILL fall. What awaits us? More of Moffat’s risk-free resurrections? Will Pudding Brain Joe Public be left scratching their heads in the Timey Whimey wilderness?  Will Simm Simmer down? All this and more will be answered whether we like it or not.

In the meantime, now is as good as ever to start sorting out this particular series. Join me on a journey of rediscovery as I go back in time to try and make this series, weak in many aspects of storytelling and suspense, into something that will hopefully keep people coming back for more week after week.

Starting today, and updated weekly, will be Doctor Who Series Ten as I would have it. A series without unnecessary mystery box teasings, under utilized guest stars, new episodes for Michelle Gomez to chew scenery in, a series with maybe even a few twists and turns in established stories, some stories may even be out of transmission order. So many options as time is rewritten and scenes are re-edited.

 

The following details contain SPOILERS for the series and the edit:

 

 

 

As you’ll find when you open up the first episode…you may find it begins not at The Doctor’s study…but somewhere a lot more distant, both in time and space…on a planet of professional executioners…that’s right, we’re getting the Vault mystery out of the way right off the bat. This is all of the Missy scenes from ”Extremis” repurposed for ”The Pilot”, we cut to the credits just as Missy urges The Doctor to let her live, and from there we find a chap at the door..Bill’s door, as her friends are out house-hunting.

That’s right, the first few minutes of ”Knock Knock” a fun but immensely flawed entry in series ten, pops up in this one too, setting up the events of a future edit, and making a recurring guest star out of David Suchette’s Landlord character.

From there, we cut back to Bill attending The Doctor’s lectures, we don’t need her being formerly introduced to him, all we need to learn is he’s her tutor and that’s it.

While she has selected a new house with her friends, it’s still going to take her a while to move, so don’t worry if you think she’s forgotten about her new digs.

After we pop over to Puddle Lane [god, whoever will get that reference?] after it locates The Pilot, we breifly go back to Doc and Missy before we check in on christmas with the crank and Bill, and from there the episode proceeds as normal until Bill arrives in a panic at the campus. Heather ripping off the Midnight monster and padding out screentime is cut and Bill makes a bee-line for The Doctor’s study.

From there, the only thing left to cut is the trip  to Australia, and then most of the episode is the same, save for the conclusion of the Extremis spots right after The Doctor gives the photos of River Song and Susan a stern telling off. We conclude our edit with footage borrowed from ”Lie of the Land” and then head into next time and the coming soon.

Stay tuned for next week as we put on a brave face and SMILE

password: tardis

[I will eventually remake this edit along with the remainder with the DVD sources when they become available]

Doctor Who-The Impossible Astronaut [Fanedit]

Snapshot 1 (16-03-2016 22-13)

 

Special thanks to fellow Faneditor contributor TomH1138 for inspiring me to get off my toochie and finish the job I started with the trim of Day of the Moon I put together…this time I’ve decided to merge both parts of the opener of series six together to form a more coherent experience

What’s different? For starters, the pre-title sequence is now the minisode for the opener that came out online before the episode aired, which is a lot more serious and a great hook for the relevant plot points of the story. Why we didn’t get this I don’t know, Moffat thought it was better to have The Doc waltz in on Laurel and Hardy as well as up someone’s skirt. Family show folks.

Next, we skip Doc and River comparing notes in their diaries and head straight to Lake Silencio where The Doctor ”accepts” his ”fate” at the hands of the Astronaut. Following a fairly unedited and smooth trip to the White House, our next big edit comes when The Doctor is confronted by Canton and Nixon. We skip over the cerfuffle that ensues with The Doctor pinned down by security, as I find The Doctor seated in the White House commanding all of the attention seconds after detection much more in-keeping with the character.

Also gone is Amy’s first encounter with The Silence, and with the removal of the Silence killing the obnoxious White House intern. Again, less is more, and what you don’t see leads to a better pay-off with the info-dumping later on.

And then comes the part that  TomH1138  suggested…although he meant it as something to occur in a Day of the Moon-only context, I thought it would be much better if the now THREE Month time skip after Amy shot her own daughter opened with Melody regenerating in the street…adds a whole new and chilling layer to the mother/daughter dynamic. Stuff like that rubs off on an engineered psychopath out to kill good men in their youth you know.

Canton  no longer pretends to chase Doc and company at all ,we get our info dumping, and in a cut I’m particularly proud of, I get Rory to talk about the Silence editing themselves out of conscious memory right after River reminds Canton they met them at the warehouse.

A few light trims here and there omits Amy encountering Melody again later and her capture at the orphanage comes much quicker. Couldn’t entirely omit the Astronaut suit being found at her location, but it still works.

From there, the last edit is a simple cut-off after Doc and River have their first/last kiss.

Edit should be dropping later tonight

Doctor Who-The Pilot [Fanedit]

 

Link

Had so many ideas for this I couldn’t just wait for the DVDs

Changes

-Titles now come at the close of The Doctor’s speech about the TARDIS acronym meaning “life”

-Episode proceeds as normal until Bill enters The TARDIS. We skip her lines abou t needing the toilet and The Doctor directing her to one, cut from The Doctor’s “gateway to everything” speech to their arrival at the Vault
-Cut The Doctor and Bill in Australia, take them to the alien planet immediatly
-End the episode on Bill’s remark that her tears may not be hers. Cut The Doctor trying to mindwipe her.
-Coming Soon trailer should be a mix of the episode’s version and the original Time For Heroes trailer

SHERLOCK-THE THREE WORDS [PDF]

180

This is a short 41-page novella based on the Conan Doyle short story “The Adventure of the Three Garidebbs” using the arc structure of series four. It serves as an alternative follow-up to “The Lying Detective”. While the novella does end on a cliffhanger, I intend to follow it up with another novella which I hope to release sometime soon.

 

The Three Words

Doctor Who-Leave The Dead To Dust [A Short Screenplay]

Zygon

“LEAVE THE DEAD TO DUST”

A SHORT SCREEN PLAY BASED OFF OF “HELL BENT”

 

  1. EXT- DESERT-DAY

Several Gallifreyan younglings are playing a game of tag with one another when a stern, commanding middle-aged woman urges them to seek shelter within-she has spotted someone approaching in the distance.

This person- THE DOCTOR- his coat slung over his shoulder, his head flooded with sweat under the searing sun of his homeworld. He has walked many miles and the fatigue is visible on his weary head.

Still, he walks with purpose, heading towards the hut. It is a place very familiar to him-very personal-he begins to reminisce…

CUT TO-

  1. INT-HUT-NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Flashback to “LISTEN”, where CLARA OSWALD’s familiar voice sooths the frightened and distressed YOUNG DOCTOR. She assures him all is well.

CUT BACK TO:

  1. EXT-DESERT-DAY

A CLOSE UP OF THE DOCTOR’S FACE,  there is clear and visible anger here…a man driven to his limits. Clara’s voice can still be heard to echo all around our ears.

CUT TO:

  1. INT-HUT-DAY

The Doctor enters the hut and is greeted by the woman, the younglings cowering behind her. CLOSE UPs of their frightened faces. The woman looks concerned…for a moment.

The Doctor does not say a word. He lets his eyes do the talking. 

The Woman’s facial expressions go through a series of expressions-curiosity turns to excitement-she recognizes him!

Then, as quickly as that expression appears-it’s gone, as a looming dread washes over her.

Her hesitation to speak ends abruptly.

WOMAN:

They’ll kill you

CUT TO:

OPENING TITLES

CUT BACK TO:

  1. EXT-GALLIFREYAN CAPITAL-DAY

Within the domed capital of the planet GALLIFREY, we see panic on the streets as the familiar tolling of CLOISTER BELLS ring from every corner of the city. 

We PAN UPWARDS from the streets of the city to a majestic ,gleaming TOWERING STRUCTURES. Buildings belonging to the most elite and privileged of Gallifreyan society-THE HIGH COUNCIL OF TIME LORDS.

We steadily ZOOM IN on the central tower. Peering out of the structure is a robed figure- a stressed and perturbed expression on his features, his head resting against the metallic hand he has leaned on the glass of the window giving him a view of the city

CUT TO:

  1. INT-HIGH COUNCIL CHAMBER

It is a frantic and bustling scene as Time Lords of supreme stature receive a visit from the captain of the CHANCELLERY GUARDS. He leans down on one knee and bows before the assembled Time Lords

GUARD CAPTAIN:

My Lord President

The President turns from the window to address the captain

LORD PRESIDENT

The entire cloister is ringing Captain Gastron…how many of the Wraiths are active?

GASTRON:

All of them sir.

LORD PRESIDENT

Then we are facing great danger

Another of the assembled Time Lords, THE GENERAL, last seen in “DAY OF THE DOCTOR”,  intercedes

THE GENERAL:

What of The Doctor?

GASTRON:

Returned  to his roots sir, the orphanage just east of the capital.

LORD PRESIDENT:

Despatch a squadron to retrieve him immediately.

The General takes The President aside

GENERAL:

Lord President, I have been in contact with Karn. Ohlia of the Sisterhood requests an audience

LORD PRESIDENT (angry)

They are exiles, cut off from our society, they should have no influence on the affairs of this planet!

GENERAL:

Now is not the time to remind us of how divided we are. The hybrid is a danger that threatens all corners of the Universe.

The President’s ire is quick to fade , his face one of solemn resignation to the matter at hand.

LORD PRESIDENT

Very well

CUT TO:

  1. INT-BARN-DAY

The Doctor is enjoying a piping hot bowl of soup. The Woman keeps the children at arm’s length, watching The Doctor silently. The Doctor does not say a word, he takes a few spoonfuls.

One child chooses to be brave and breaks off from the sheltered group to ask The Doctor a question

CHILD

You’re sad. Most sad. I can see it in your eyes. Why is this so?

The Doctor stares coldly at the child, there is no compassion even in moments where there should be.

The Woman pulls the child back, The Doctor resumes his meal.

A distant rumble can be heard in the distance. Steadily, the noise gets louder, the table and soup bowl begins to shake.

Some of the children begin to talk amongst themselves. Some are frightened.

THE WOMAN

Wait here

She exits through the main door, the bright and searing sunlight seeps into the room, illuminating The Doctor. The children remain transfixed by him…and somehow all their fears evaporate

The Woman steps back into the barn, she steadily approaches The Doctor, anxious, but resolute.

THE WOMAN

They’ve come for you

The Doctor stares back at the children. He slowly rises to his feet and walks up to the Woman.

THE DOCTOR

Tell them everything will be alright

The Woman finally permits herself a grin. The children smile too. Though his soul is lost, The Doctor is not without heart.

The Doctor pats the Woman tenderly on the shoulder and opens the door

CUT TO:

  1. EXT-BARN-DAY

The Doctor peers out of the door to find a small platoon of Gallifreyan storm troopers awaiting him. Towering high above them is a Gallifreyan assault ship, it’s weapons firmly and locked on to the soil on which The Doctor stands.

The leader of the platoon, BESTRAL, approaches The Doctor and extends his hand in a gesture of friendship

 BESTRAL

Doctor, I am Captain Bestral, on behalf of the high council, I welcome you back…

The Doctor has no time for pleasantries, especially from this type of person. He quickly takes a few steps backwards back into the barn and slams the door firmly shut, leaving the guards flabbergasted.

BESTRAL

Put me through to the High Council

CUT TO:

  1. INT-HIGH COUNCIL CHAMBER-DAY

Bestral is granted an audience with the assembled Time Lords. The President a tad overeager for progress to be made. His iron gauntlet shimmers with sheer power as if to more clearly convey his frustration as he tries to maintain a sense of composure.

LORD PRESIDENT

Why do you delay?

BESTRAL

                 He is being… difficult…Lord President, as you had foreseen

The President turns to The General, his features contorted as he juggles disbelief and paranoia.

LORD PRESIDENT

What does he want?

THE GENERAL

What any victim of the confession trials want and seldom never receive my Lord…a reckoning.

CUT TO:

  1. INT-BARN-DAY

The child that had noted The Doctor’s sadness from earlier spots the Time Lord searching through a casket. He removes several items, including several fob watches and an Edwardian era Jacket. At one point, he finds a packet of Jelly Babies. He takes a few out and offers them to the boy.

THE DOCTOR

Care for one?

CHILD

No one’s supposed to touch anything in there

THE DOCTOR

Because a grownup said so?

CHILD

We have to obey orders, they say we’ll become soldiers one day

THE DOCTOR

How long has it been since this planet last saw war?

CHILD

They say war is as eternal as time.

THE DOCTOR

And just like time…it inevitably passes.

The Doctor finds what he is looking for, a musical instrument, a wooden, six string guitar, he plays a solemn version of Clara’s theme on it. The children all gather around him as he plays, transfixed by the occasion. Even The Woman, trying to maintain a semblance of structure and attempting to pry the children’s attention away from The Doctor, cannot help but be moved.

CHILD

There was such sadness in your eyes…now there is pain in this song. This one, does it have a name?

The Doctor spots something in the crate, the small soldier figurine from “Listen”, he stares at it, a sense of longing in his ancient face

THE DOCTOR

I think it’s called…Clara

A voice from behind the door swiftly interrupts them

BESTRON

Doctor, this is your last warning. Accompany us to the capital, or we will be forced to remove you from this dwelling by force

CHILD

What are you going to do?

The Doctor begins playing a different track on the guitar, “Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky”

THE DOCTOR

Don’t worry, it’s empty words. I trust them to follow their conscious. They know what I did in the last war.

CHILD

What did you do?

THE DOCTOR

I did some counting

  1. INT-HIGH COUNCIL CHAMBER

We find the President  is again in great distress, his frustration knows no limits as the guards delay outside the hut

LORD PRESIDENT

Who do they think he is to warrant more delay?

THE GENERAL

The man who won the time war sir

Ohlia and the Sisterhood of Karn enter the chamber, flanked by guards

OHLIA

I see The Doctor’s homecoming has not come without it’s inevitable problems

LORD PRESIDENT

He blame us for the horrors he faced in the confession dial

OHLIA

No, not at all..he just blames YOU

CUT TO:

  1. INT-HUT-DAY

The Doctor is perched on a straw bed, hearing the music he’d been playing earlier played back to him by the child, who he is now allowing to play with the guitar. He hears another loud hum overhead. He steadily rises to his feet, he seems to know this is the kind of  house call he had been desiring. His reckoning is here

  1. EXT-HUT-DAY

The President of the Time Lords, flanked by Bestron and his guards, stand outside the hut

  1. INT-HUT-DAY

The Doctor takes the Edwardian jacket from the pile left on the floor and puts it on. He make his way to the door. The woman and children are there to greet him. The woman is conflicted, not wanting to defy the President, but does not desire The Doctor to give himself up when he has brought much joy to her children.

WOMAN

He’s waiting for you…I don’t think we should delay any further. If you knew the stories about what he can do…I don’t wish for that on the boys, you understand of course.

THE DOCTOR

Yes. I know. This is where we part, thank you for all you’ve done for me

The child, still holding the guitar in his right hand, tugs at The Doctor’s coat with his left.

CHILD

Will we see you again?

THE DOCTOR

In time…and maybe in space. It’s a big universe. You could do with running straight into it when you’re older

The Doctor pats the child on the head and boldly takes steps to exit the Hut.

CUT TO:

  1. EXT-HUT-DAY

The bright searing Gallifreyan sunlight bursts forth and some of its rays illuminate the tense showdown between The Doctor and the President

LORD PRESIDENT

We did not go to this much trouble for you to create discord upon your return

THE DOCTOR

Get off my planet

The President laughs

LORD PRESIDENT

You have no gratitude. Were it not for my orders, you would not standing before me now with a new face…a new life

THE DOCTOR

This face is old, this life is scarred. Also by your orders. Another life has been lost. I do not forget these deeds.

LORD PRESIDENT

Your companion’s death was a result of her own reckless overconfidence

THE DOCTOR

You set a trap for me and she walked straight into it

LORD PRESIDENT

We required your assistance

THE DOCTOR

You could have summoned me

LORD PRESIDENT

And give our location away to our enemies? We are more vulnerable now than ever Doctor, we have seen much conflict since returning to this universe. Many have tried to stand in Gallifrey’s ruins.

THE DOCTOR

There were other ways

LORD PRESIDENT

You would have been difficult to deal with if merely summoned. You may not have been willing to tell us all you know about the Hybrid, a danger to us all

THE DOCTOR

The Hybrid was a story

LORD PRESIDENT

Every story ever told is history Doctor, history that has either been prevented by us, or history that is bound to happen if we leave it unchecked

THE GENERAL

You said you were the Hybrid Doctor

THE DOCTOR

Yes I did, and no, I didn’t. Have you been paying attention to history?

LORD PRESIDENT

Tell us what you know

THE DOCTOR

Get off my planet

LORD PRESIDENT

Gallifrey is mine

The President raises his iron glove, it begins to glow

THE GENERAL

Lord President, please, this is not the way

THE DOCTOR

No, let him sic his mitten on me, it’s bringing out the colour in those ice-cold cheeks

LORD PRESIDENT

I do not jest Doctor, I shall go to any lengths to get the truth. In the confession dial you died time and again…and where we come from, time has no desire to leave the dead alone.

The Doctor stands firm, we continuously CUT BETWEEN CLOSE-UPS of the two staring intently at each other, neither backing down from what they mean or say.

Finally, one Time Lord can stand it no longer.

GENERAL

Lord President, do not-

The President unleashes a sudden burst of energy from his glove, the General throws himself into the line of fire and becomes a smouldering wisp of smoke and ash.

The Doctor catches the President unawares with a firm right hook, the President falls to the floor, The Doctor places one foot soundly on his glove as guards swarm over them

The Doctor removes the President’s glove

THE DOCTOR

Take a look at what he is willing to do here, make a choice.

The Doctor stares at the remnants of the General’s clothes, a pained yet stern and commanding presence on his face as he recalls the smoke pouring from Clara’s corpse in “FACE THE RAVEN”

The soldiers drop their weapons and pick up the fallen President, restraining him, their choice made

LORD PRESIDENT

I am Rassilon, the redeemer, Rassilon the resurrected, Gallifrey is mine. You will obey me!

THE DOCTOR

Noone is your servant and you are not The Master, and I mean that quite literally. You do not rule over these men or any other. Not any longer.

Rassilon is taken back to his ship, he looks over at the children staring back at him. The young boy plays ‘Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky’ on the guitar

THE DOCTOR

Nicely played kid.

BESTRAL:

My Lord Doctor, shall I order the potion mixers back at the capital to prepare the General for resurrection?

THE DOCTOR

No, no soldier, he’s  earned his rest. Even as it comes to claim us all, it’s best for life and time if we merely leave the dead to dust.