Tag Archives: Updates

Pokemon-Gotta Catch Ya Now! [Fanfiction]

Pokemon-Logo

GOTTA CATCH YA NOW!

BASED ON “GOTTA CATCH YA LATER!”


With the Johto League Super Conference behind them, Ash and his friends decide to take a well-earned rest in Viridian City before they began the short journey back to Ash’s home of Pallet Town.

As they stood atop a small hill on the road leading into Viridian City, the three friends took in the lush woodland around them. The mixture of scented flowers and brisk air awoke strong nostalgic memories in Ash, memories of family, and of one day in particular.

So strong was the memory that Ash could hear the voices of the past echo all around him

You be good to your Mom”

Can I step into the wild you Dad?”

Come and catch me”

“Ash? Is something the matter?” asked a concerned Misty

Ash, on the defensive, looked her in the eye and let out a hefty laugh.

“Never better Misty”

Ash’s faithful Pikachu had taken to the green around the travelers, searching for some wild Pokemon to chase about or to even battle so his partner could catch a few. It loved a challenge, and despite being exhausted from his Johto experience, was eager to keep his battle prowess in tip top condition.

But there was to be no playtime of this caliber to come, as Ash beckoned Pikachu to get a move on as they made their way through the forests.

“Hold up a second Ash, Misty’s shoelaces have come loose” said Brock.

Ash, however, was drifting in and out again, the nostalgic pull of the voices in his head compelling him to think back to simpler times.

“Don’t you leave me behind Ash Ketchum” snapped Misty as she tied her shoelaces together.

For some reason, it was this that caused Ash to snap back out of his trance-like state.

“What? Oh, yeah, sure Misty, I promise” he said dismissively as Misty caught up with them.

“Our first port of call ought to be the Pokemon Center” said Brock enthusiastically.

Ash and Misty gave each other knowing looks, they knew what he really wanted.

“Keen to try your luck with Nurse Joy again I see” Ash remarked.

“We see Joy in virtually every town” Misty added.

“See, yet never handle. That’s due to change” said Brock, oozing confidence.

Heading into the city, the Pokemon Center was indeed the first port of call for the young trio, and Nurse Joy was of course there to greet them.

Ash handed in his pokeballs, each containing a well worn-out Pokemon still recuperating from their exhausting battles.

“I couldn’t help but notice you’re carrying one too many balls, mind if I help lighten your load?” Brock asked, trying his best to conceal his flirtatious intentions by earning his way into Joy’s good graces.

Joy, however, was having none of it.

“I’m afraid the ball is out of your court” said Joy, and gripped one Pokeball she couldn’t carry by hand in her teeth, carrying all of them over to the resuscitator.

Brock sighed. Misty patted him on the shoulder.

“Nevermind Brock, you’ll get the balls rolling some day” Misty.

A distraught Brock looked Ash’s loyal Pikachu dead in the eyes, Pikachu gave Brock a thumbs up and a wink.

Having replenished the Pokemon and returned them to their owners, Nurse Joy took some time out to examine the trio that had ventured into her place of work, she was trying to place their faces, as she was sure she’d seen them before.

Eager to prove her hunch was correct, Joy browsed the center’s vast computer database and looked up a list of trainers who had been present at the center some months prior. She soon struck paydirt as Misty’s profile and information, including her known relatives, was soon displayed on the screen.

Confident she had found her woman, Nurse Joy returned to the center’s waiting room.

“Excuse me Ma’am, you are related to the Gym leaders of Cerulean City aren’t you?” Joy asked her.

“Yes, what of it?” Misty replied, curious as to what was up.

“A few days ago, your sisters dropped by Viridian City and requested we pass along a message to someone fitting your description. They have been summoned to a private beauty pageant in an undisclosed region and may be gone for some time, they have entrusted the running of their gym to you”

Misty let out a faint gasp and frustration built up inside of her, she swiftly let Nurse Joy know how she felt

“How could they do this to me? What about all my free time? I’ve got a life too you know, there are people I want to spend more time with, this will cut into everything” she said

“I’m very sorry, I wish I could do something” said Joy.

Misty calmed herself, and turned to her friends for support.

“Guys, I really don’t know what to say” she said.

Brock seemed pleased at the news, “Trust me, when the Pewter Gym was entrusted to me, I felt like a huge weight had been placed on my shoulders, but boy did I learn to lift”

Misty wasn’t buying how sincere he was.

“Brock, you haven’t been near your gym in ages, you left it behind to be with us, then you shacked up with she-who-must-not-be-named, then came crawling back to Pallet Town when that went belly up . Don’t lecture me about the responsibilities of the world when you’re still refusing to take any on board”

Brock looked at her with a sheepish expression, he had been firmly put in his place.

Misty turned to Ash, a slight lump in her throat as an unsettling and unnerving calm took hold of her

“Ash, say something” she said.

Ash produced a smirk and gave her a wink.

“You’ll do great Misty” he said, “Besides, it’s only until they come back right?” he said.

“Did’nt you hear what Joy said? We don’t know how long this pageant will take…and it doesn’t help that I can read my sisters like a book, they’ve been on these kind of extended vacations before, but that was when I was little. Now I’m at the right age, they see fit to just get on their bikes and dash off to wherever and leave me with their workload” Misty continued.

“Oh, speaking of bikes, I have another surprise for you” said Joy, heading outside towards the center’s garage and beckoning the trio to join her.

Joy soon emerged from the garage with a very special gift.

Ash’s eyes lit up, while Misty’s eyes teared up.

“It’s your old bike, the one I ‘borrowed’ to help get Pikachu to this center for emergency medical treatment when he got injured protecting me. I remember how mad you were, guess you don’t need to follow me around much anymore do you?” Ash joked.

Misty, however, didn’t see the funny side, to her this was all coming full circle too fast.

“How can you be so calm about this?” she said, “We’re being pulled apart and you seem to think it’s like every other day”

Misty’s words were falling deaf on Ash, as he was recalling, once again, an altogether different day, and altogether different voices.

The voices were known to him, as echoes of the past tended to be. He could see in his mind’s eye, himself at a younger age standing outside his house, his mother behind him and his father in front, a heavy bag slouched over his shoulders, and slowly walking away from the pair

Can I come into the wild with you Dad?” said the young Ketchum

His father turned and smiled.

“You know how I get to keep all of my wild Pokemon don’t you son?” he said.

“You catch them” said Ash.

Think of where I am now as something you admire from a distance, but when you’re old enough to understand, when you’re ready to step into the wild, come and catch me” he said.

Ash wanted to ask him one last question, one he felt he ought to ask someone now.

But first he had to settle for the questions that lay in wait for him in the here and now

“Ash Ketchum, are you even listening to me?” Misty snapped angrily.

“I’m sorry Misty, my mind’s been elsewhere” said Ash apologetically.

“Maybe it’s me that needs to be elsewhere” Misty said, and dashed off towards the mountains.

“Misty, wait” said Ash, but Misty was too emotionally distraught to pay attention, she needed some space.

“Ash, go talk to her” Brock said.

Ash kept himself closed off.

“Will you guys excuse me? I have to make a call” Ash replied

“Of course” said Nurse Joy.

As Ash headed inside the center, Brock was left with a feeling of unease, feeling as if nothing had truly prepared him for these emotional winds of change.

“Neither of them are taking this well, Ash is so distant” Brock said to Joy

“You three have been together a long time haven’t you?” said Joy.

“We’ve led quite a roller coaster life, but we haven’t had to deal with the kind of adventure the real world tends to bring” lamented a saddened Brock.

Back at the center, Ash contacted his mother Delia via video phone

“Hi Mom” he said.

“When are you due back in Pallet Town sweetie?” Delia replied.

Ash cleared his throat, he let his mind wander backwards into the past one last time, hearing the voices of his father and his child self resonate, taking that final exchange they had not as something to cherish, but as something to heed.

Still apprehensive, Ash responded as firmly as he could.

“That’s just the thing Mom, I might not be back for a while” Ash said

“Any particular reason?”

“Mom, do you remember when I set off on my journey to be a Pokemon master?” Ash said.

“Proudest day of my life. You’ve grown into a great trainer. Your advancements in the Johto league were all the neighbors could watch on tv and talk about the next day. Every step you take further and further into the world beyond Pallet Town takes you that further to filling in the shoes of your dad. I know he’s as proud of you as I am”

“How is dad?” Ash asked.

“He hasn’t come home yet, but when he does we’ll celebrate how far you’ve come” she assured her son.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about him lately. I bet you have too” Ash said.

“Every day” she replied.

The tone of the conversation turned less jubilant between mother and son as Ash posed a question

“Does it get harder?” he asked.

Delia fell silent, if only briefly, her smile diminished, she briefly closed her eyes and held her hands close to her chest.

Ash felt a pang of guilt, but felt compelled to continue. Something was eating away at him, a choice memory that had been persisting since they arrived in Viridian City.

His mother’s voice soothed his inner sense of uncertainty as she finally responded.

“Whenever he or you are far from home, I reach down into my memories and I pick out all of the moments we spend together, and I bring them to the surface. Nothing that brings me such joy could ever equal a burden, don’t ever think of yourself or your father as something that could bring any day difficulty. What you leave behind, the promises you make for tomorrow, are what see me through today”

Ash let these words from the heart ease himself back into the memory of one such promise. One he’d dismissed earlier

“Don’t you leave me behind Ash Ketchum”

“I promise”

The promise he’d made then took his thoughts back further to another conversation, in another lifetime.

Catch me later” said his father.

Why not now?” asked the young Ketchum

Ash stepped out of the projected memories, past and present, with renewed conviction, and at peace.

“Is there anything troubling you dear?” Delia asked of her son. Ash shook his head and gently wiped away a small selection of minute tears.

“Nothing Mom. It’s nothing…and everything. I’ll call you again as soon as I can” Ash said.

“I love you sweetheart, catch you later” she said.

Ash smiled.

She always would keep his Dad close to her.

Ash came out of the center and found Nurse Joy, he examined the bike.

“You guys did a real swell job” he said.

Nurse Joy beamed with an approving smile. Ash turned back to look at her.

“…But it could do with a slight modification”

A few hours later, Misty had calmed down and had returned from her trek through the mountains, and had caught some water type Pokemon deep in the cavern rock pools. She saw Ash and Brock awaiting her with the bike.

Resigned to her fate, Misty took a deep breath and walked over to them.

“Guys, Ash, I wanted to say sorry for…” she began, but quickly cut herself off as she examined the bike, noticing a significant change had been made to it.

“Ash, my bike, why does it have an extra seat?” she asked.

Ash walked over to the bike and stroked the second seat gently with his right hand.

“I thought we could ride back into Cerulean City, you and me, together”

“I’m flattered Ash, but don’t you need to head back home?” Misty replied.

“I am” he said.

“Ash, what are you saying?”

Ash gripped Misty’s hands tightly with his own. Misty felt a flutter in her chest as her heart beat faster.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad, about a question I asked him when I was younger, he never answered it, he took off into the wild and I’ve been trying to catch him ever since. My whole journey has been trying to grasp something always just out of reach, I can’t let this happen again to someone I also admire, someone I care about”

Misty blushed, she held back fresh tears.

“We’d see each other again” Misty assured him, reminding him of what he’d said earlier “, It’s only until my sisters come home, I can tolerate a few million days and nights by myself once I put my mind to it”

“Then we’ll wait for them together, sometimes it’s better to have someone keeping you company” Ash argued.

“Your ship needs a captain” Brock remarked, reminding him of something he said the last time he parted company with them.

“How about you Brock? We could always use an extra hand” Misty said.

“Nah, you were right, I need to get back to Pewter City and run the gym, maybe I could work out a bit, put some muscle on so I’m as chisled as my Onyx” Brock joked.

Ash and Misty mounted the bike, Misty’s Togepi was deposited in the basket attached to the front, while Pikachu climbed aboard Ash’s head.

The pair waved goodbye to Brock and proceeded to head in the direction of Cerulean City, leaving Brock behind to start his own journey back.

But first, he’d try his hand once more at flirting with Joy.

“Are you sure Brock can take care of himself on the way back?” Ash asked Misty.

“Oh knowing him, he’ll get a lift from Officer Jenny once she comes over to arrest him for harrasing Joy at her workplace” joked Misty.

Ash clung to Misty’s back tightly, Pikachu spotted something up in the sky and prodded Ashe’s head, prompting him to stare upwards too.

Misty brought the bike to a standstill so she and Togepi could stare upwards at the mesmerizing sight also.

High above, a magnificent bird flew over them, a Ho-Oh, native to the Johto region.

“It’s beautiful” said Misty.

“It must be heading home” Ash said.

“Just like us right?” said Misty.

“I guess” said Ash.

Misty smiled, she could tell what Ash was thinking,

“You want to try your luck catching something like that?” she asked.

A part of Ash would have jumped at the opportunity, but he opted to stick by his current decision.

“I meant what I said, it’s better I leave things to the wild and catch what you have in front of you for now” Ash revealed.

As the pair resumed their journey, it came to an abrupt halt as the bike fell into a connivningly camoflaughed pit.

Thrown from the bike, Ash struggled to get his bearings and almost slipped into unconsciousness. Only Pikachu and Togepie’s cries kept him active and alert. He scrambled to Misty’s location.

Ash noticed the fall had left Misty with a bruised leg and some minor cut. He shook her gently, trying to bring her around.

“Come on Misty, wake up” Ash replied.

Much to Ash’s relief, Misty came around.

“Anybody ever tell you you badly need a bath?” she said, noticing the specks of grime on Ash’s face.

Ash gripped her hand tightly and brought her to her feet. Pikachu and Togepi high-fived one another once it was clear Misty was simply shaken.

“What just happened?” Misty said, observing the deep crater they were in.

“Someone’s cruel idea of a prank, this could have been worse for others, what if some kids were playing nearby?” Ash responded.

“Unfortunately for you, playtime is over” uttered a snark voice from above them.

Ash and Misty found themselves face to face with three individuals towering over them.

“Who are you guys?” Ash asked.

“Prepare for trouble” said Kai.

“Team Rocket?” Misty asked.

“Not quite, we’re the Triple K, Kim, Kail and Kai, the best trappers and trainers in all of Viridian City, and we’ve been tasked by Team Rocket with acquiring that Pikachu, hand him over” said Kail.

Misty stepped forward, shielding Pikachu.

“Oh look, she wants to be a hero” observed Kim.

“Get behind me Ash” Misty said.

“Misty, come on, it’s my Pikachu they want, let me in on this action” Ash replied.

“I can handle this myself Ash” said Misty.

“I promised you we’d be all in this together from now on, not one soul’s an island woman” argued Ash

“Hey, are you having a quarrel down there?” said Kail.

Ash and Misty looked at each other, their faces red with embarrassment.

“I guess Team Rocket’s descriptions of these two were accurate, they are lovebirds” Kim said.

“Enough stalling. Kai, send in your Hitmochan” ordered Kail.

Kai did as instructed and sent Hitmochan into the pit.

“I’m sorry Ash, I guess with you willing to live under my roof, I got a little overprotective” Misty remarked as the Hitmonchan came closer.

“Real world responsibilities, don’t let them shake you, let me share them” said Ash.

Misty nodded.

“Ready Pikachu?” said Ash. Pikachu nodded while Togepi retreated to the remains of the bike and hid.

Ash give Misty a confident and sharp look.

“Ok tigress..pounce” he said.

“Go Politoed” Misty commanded as she set one of her own Pokemon loose.

“Use water gun” Misty instructed. Politoed obeyed and let out a gush of high pressure water at the physically intimidating Hitmonchan. It proved super effective, knocking him out instantly.

The triple K sent in two more Pokemon, Hitmonlee and Hitmontop, which surrounded Politoed.

“Pikachu, thunderbolt attack now” instructed Ash.

Pikachu’s delivery of the bolt was swift and devastating to Hitmonstop, stunning him. Politoed used the bubbles attack on Hitmonchan, while Pikachu delivered another ferocious thunderbolt to Hitmontop and Rapid Spin on Hitmonlee. It wasn’t long before the team of Pallet and Cerulean’s finest had mopped the floor with the forces of the Triple K.

Ash and Misty clambered out of the pit and approached the trio, who all backed away slowly

“Hey, nothing personal you know, simply business” Kim said.

“If this was buisness, consider this pleasure” said Ash, and instructed Pikachu to again use thunderbolt, Misty joined in with Politoed and water gun.

“I guess these stories about blasting off are also true” the trio all screamed in unison as they were captaulted into the air and vanished into the distance.

“Well, guess Team Rocket won’t be paying top dollar for those cheapskates services anytime soon” remarked Ash.

“Yeah, but who’s going to pay for my bike, it’s wrecked again” said Misty as she climbed back into the pit to pick up Togepi.

“Oh I’ll sort that old thing out once we get back to the gym. I need to find something to occupy my time while you’re accepting Gym battle challenges” Ash said.

“I’d much rather you challenge me every day, at least I know I’d stand more than a fair chance against you” Misty remarked as she climbed back out of the pit.

“Hey” Ash said, slightly annoyed.

Misty smiled and rubbed her hand gently through Ash’s hair, handing him back his hat. She kissed him tenderly on the cheek.

“Relax Ash Ketchum, you’ll learn a lot. By the time we’re done, we’ll be the talk of town, and not just as Gym leaders” she said.

Ash pondered what she meant by that, and his mind again drifted back into the mists of time to something Misty had said to him.

An unintentional sign at the time?

No.

A promise.

“You and I will be married someday too”

“I’ll hold you to that” Ash said aloud.

Misty, having not been privy to his innermost thoughts, was confused.

“I did’nt quite catch that” she said.

Ash laughed and began to run enthusiastically towards the direction of Cerulean city. Misty, clutching Togepi tightly, took off after him with Pikachu dashing alongside her.

“Don’t you leave me behind Ash Ketchum” she yelled happily.

“Sure Misty, I promise, just so long as you catch me first” Ash yelled back at her.

Now was as good a time as ever.

Advertisements

Doctor Who-Let’s Kill Hitler [Fanedit]

 

When certain events in history happen, people always reflect on where they were at the time.

For me, I recall exactly where I was when Let’s Kill Hitler went out…it had been my parent’s silver wedding anniversary, we had a grand old tea at a swank little inn and many family members came back to the family homestead for a few drinks and a bit of chatter. I had to watch the episode in my bedroom along with my cousin and little brother. At one point, an uncle joined in.

This, for many, is where not only series six went wrong, but you got the distinct feeling DW’s days as the “cool” thing to watch were numbered in the years to come.

It took a year for it to sink in, but this was it. The first post-hiatus episode following the gripping “A Good Man Goes to War” and what did we get? A flipping River Song rom-com disguised as an origin story. If anyone watching the show had a pre-existing distaste for Alex Kingston’s performance, their tempers were not quelled by this.

And yet, I quite like it.

For all the ham, the comedy, the “clever lie” bit which deconstructs the temporal grace of the TARDIS, and the gimmicky misleading title which doesn’t involve the tantalizing time travel conundrum of what to do with Adolf if you met him, it’s a very energetic script, it does offer some insights into what the Silence are, and the Tesselecta is a great concept, albiet more for the time travel modus operandi than ripping off the Numbskulls in the Beano.

I may enjoy a lot of this episode, but make no mistake, this is where series six died a gurning death over the course of 45 minutes and the Moffat era was never regarded in quite the same light again.

You can enjoy something, but you must always be aware of it’s faults so you can understand the side who trash it and not callously dismiss them in the name of the 10/10 club mentality that think the whole series is sunshine and rainbows.  You see this all the time in certain Whovian podcasts on Youtube and reaction channels, save for maybe two (Zaredit personally recommends Blindwave and Seskasays for some proper analysis)

Ah, but there wouldn’t be an edit if there wasn’t something to cut now would it? And there was a lot to go, making this, the second of my World War II themed edits, to run at a considerably shorter run time, this one clocking in at 35 minutes.

The episode begins with the way it should have, with Hitler at the front and center of the action. If you’re going to mishandle the furher, at least make it seem like he’s important…set up a bit of a mystery as to what the Tesselecta want with him, and give the Doctor a massively impactful entrance with the TARDIS crashing through…then have the titles come as Hitler, sodding Hitler, thanks our intrepid travelers for saving his life. DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNNNNN.

Gone too is the creation of the crop circle summons and the introduction of Mels in the stolen car, and the flashbacks to her childhood with Amy and Rory.  All you need to know from the moment Mels is released from prison is that she’s a friend of the family, she set Amy and Rory up together, and she’s trouble.

Afterwards, one of the last things to go was the ultimate in time-wasting filler, where Matt Smith does a little bit of self-sabotaging and diminishes the enigmatic performance of his Doctor by indulging  in a childish tantrum about guilt and yelling out fish fingers and custard a gazillion times to really emphasize to the whole audience that Doctor Who serves the children’s whims above the adults or the family.

And that’s your lot. Episode ends on the Doctor handing River her diary and the Doctor/Song ‘ship era is well and truly set to sail in a few filler’s time. Hello Benjamin.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

 

Doctor Who-The End of Time [Fanedit]

mwdl

 

When I first approached this edit, I wanted to try and make it appear like Ten did not go through the “he will knock four times” scenario and thus would not have to regenerate. I don’t think the final product was all that stellar, with terrible music cues leading to poor transitions and a rather dodgy narrative in places…so when remounting the project for inclusion on FE.Org, I thought it ought to be a simpler, less radical omnibus edit…which resulted in a much smoother product.

Gone is most of Part One, which has been reduced to just 45 minutes, and we open on Ten and Wilf talking in the cafe, with Ten (channeling RTD) rambling on about how regeneration/leaving the show feels like dying (thus preparing a whole generation of “woke” plebs to write off the show or grow to hate it instantly upon RTD and Tennant’s departure) , all you need to know is that Ten’s been on Earth for a while, and the mysterious connection Wilf has to him drew the two together….and we follow the scene through to it’s impactful conclusion with the reveal of Timothy Dalton’s Rassilon…and then the titles.

After that, we, like the TARDIS, take a step back through time and space to The Doctor being summoned to the Ood sphere and being informed of The Master’s resurrection…only we evade The Doctor and The Master’s encounters with homeless men and Minnie The Menace, and cut straight to The Doctor confronting the energy wielding Master in the quarry.

Three more edits after this, the first a simple joining of part one’s cliffhanger to Rassilon entering his chambers to discuss the perils of the Time War at the start of part two, followed by us skipping him learning about The Doctor and The Master locked in their struggle and learning of Earth. The reason for this is to tighten up the continuity ever so slightly, as it can be rather jarring that we go from Rassilon talking about how The Master would achieve glory for the Time Lords, only to then have their next scene be a flashback to how they learned precisely why. Luckily, I didn’t need to cut so much out of the war room meeting.

After this,  it’s all of part two up to  when The Doctor leaves Wilf at the church having given Donna Geoffrey Noble’s winning lottery ticket.

I never liked the idea of Ten going back to visit Rose in 2005, even if he kept to the shadows, it was one companion revisit too many and I don’t think The Doctor would want to reopen that void in his hearts knowing he got cucked by her and his doppelganger in “Journey’s End”

There is only one minor plot hole in the whole thing, and that was when Ten talks to Wilf about losing The Master at the quarry..but you can easily explain that away with what you didn’t get to hear at the cafe scene in the opening scene as the two got caught up on things.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

 

 

WWE: Steamed Hams But It’s An In-Ring Promo (fanfiction/parody)

 

WWE:

STEAMED HAMS BUT IT’S AN IN-RING PROMO

ADAPTED FROM “22 SHORT FILMS ABOUT SPRINGFIELD”

“Welcome to the longest running weekly episodic program in television history, this is Monday Night RAW” said Micheal Cole as he opened the latest edition of World Wrestling Entertainment’s

“As you can see, Miz TV is set up in the ring” observed Corey Graves.

“You just know the a-lister has got what’s sure to be a critically acclaimed plan for dealing with Roman Reigns tonight” said Booker T.

The Miz headed to the ring accompanied by his Miztourage. All three of them stepped into the squared circle and welcomed the large capacity crowd to the event.

“Welcome one and all to the most must-see show on any brand, RAW is the home of Miz TV and I have come with a peace offering for Roman Reigns, one might say this will be an unforgettable luncheon” he said, snapping his fingers so as to alert his Miztourage to their next course of action.

They unveiled in the center of the ring a small oven, smoke was slowly pouring out of it.

“Hmm, yes, it’s coming along nicely, you can tangibly taste the smell of that roast cooking in that oven. Yes, succulent delights await Roman when he arrives, or rather if he arrives, I hear he’s taken a slight detour. All the more for us I guess” said The Miz, confident that he would be able to help himself to the meal if Roman couldn’t make it.

Suddenly, Roman Reigns music hit and the crowd came alive.

“The big dog has made it Miz, despite your directions” said Cole on commentary.

Bo Dallas checked the oven and found the chicken was significantly burnt, he relayed this information to his employer.

“What do you mean my roast is ruined?” The Miz whispered back.

Curtis Axel suggested that he head over to a recently reopened fast food joint near the arena so he could purchase something and disguise it as their own cooking.

“Delightfully devilish Axel” The Miz said.

Just as Curtis was about to exit the ring and head towards an exit in the area, Roman stepped into the ring and glared at him.

Miztourage with their crazy explanations

Roman Reigns is gonna need his adulation

When he hears the fans negative reactions

There’ll be trouble in town tonight

“Axel” Reigns yelled as the crowd booed and jeered him.

“You can tell the WWE Universe is having fun” said Cole.

“Oh Roman, I was just stretching my calves on the ring apron, isometric exercise, care to join me?” said Axel, who already had leg positioned on the side of the apron.

Roman noticed the smoldering contents of the oven.

“Why is there smoke coming out of your oven?” he asked.

“Oh, that isn’t smoke, it’s steam, steam from the steamed clams we’re having. Hmm, steamed clams” replied Bo.

Reigns was swiftly distracted by the arrival of Samaoa Joe, who had come to taunt Reigns for losing his Wrestlemania clash with Brock Lesnar.

Curtis seized the opportunity and bolted from the ring and to the fast food joint.

“The only things steaming up in this arena is the heat between you and me Roman. Your failure to conquer the beast only fuels the fire necessary in me to put you out to pasture permanently at Backlash” taunted Joe.

“At Backlash, you’ll find this is still my yard, and this dog still has a lot more bite left in him” promised Roman.

After a few additional back and forth exchanges, each promising to take down the other in an assortment of unpleasant ways, Joe took his leave, Roman turned around to find Curtis had returned

“Roman, I hope you’re ready for mouth watering hamburgers” said Curtis, holding a stunning dish serving the meal.

“What are you feeding me here? I thought you said we were having steamed clams?” said Roman

“No, no, we said steamed HAMS. That’s what we call hamburgers” said Bo with a swift and assuring confidence.

“You call hamburgers steamed hams?” said Roman, clearly not buying it.

“Yes. It’s a regional dialect” said Bo

“Uh-huh… uh, what region?” said Roman.

“Uhh… upstate Florida?” Curtis said.

“Really? Well, I’m from Pensacola, and I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase “steamed hams.”

“Oh, not in Florida, no. It’s an Albany expression” remarked Bo

Roman nodded in agreement I see.

Roman took a handful of the burgers from the plate. The Miz quietly hid the burning oven beneath the ring while he was distracted. The Miztourage joined in on eating the burgers.

“You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they used to have at The World” said Roman

“Oh ho ho ho… no, patented Miztourage burgers. Old family recipe” assured Curtis

“For steamed hams?” Roman asked.

“Yes” Bo replied

“Yeah, so you call them “steamed hams” despite the fact they are obviously grilled” said Roman.

Bo suddenly noticed the smoke was starting to intensify beneath the ring.

“Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second” he said, clambering out of the ring and conversing with The Miz as they checked under the ring. Bo stepped back into the ring stretching his arms. The Miz whispered instructions to Curtis.

“Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I’m pooped” Bo said.

“Yeah, if you think this is going to pacify me after the way you cheated me out of the intercontinental title, you’re very mistaken. It’s payback time” said Roman, pumping up his fist for a swift superman punch.

Suddenly, he noticed the smoke rising from the ring.

“Just what is happening down there” he said.

“Aurora borealis?” said The Miz.

The crowd booed.

“Uh- aurora borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely beneath the ring?” barked Roman.

“Yes” said The Miz

“May I see it?” Roman asked.

“No” said The Miz.

“This house is on fire” said Cole as the crowd broke into a “Miztourage” chant.

“No Micheal, it’s just the northern lights” joked Graves.

“Quiet, quiet, when my hand goes up, your mouth goes shut” said The Miz as he raised his arm to silence the audience

“Well Miztourage, you are odd fellows, I must say you steam a good ham…but I throw a good haymaker” said Roman, and took out the entire group with a barrage of superman punches and spears, all as the crowed jeered him, rejecting the latest attempt of getting him over.

Doctor Who-Invisible Touch [Screenplay]

Zygon

This is a script I was commissioner to write by someone on FF.Net for his own Doctor Who fanfilm series. I’ve yet to hear back from this person and don’t even know if he filmed the episodes, so for now I’ve decided to put up the script so you at least know where it came from if you see it on Youtube eventually. Feel free to adapt it for your own fanfilm if need be.

“INVISIBLE TOUCH”
WRITTEN BY DAVID BLYTH

EXT-STREET-DAY

[THE DOCTOR and his companion JESS SMITH are standing outside a building, keeping their gaze transfixed on the sky. The Doctor turns to his companion]

THE DOCTOR
Is this how it starts?

JESS:
What do you mean?

THE DOCTOR:
The day. It’s so regular. Usually by this time of the morning I’m off dozing the flames off of burnt stars, or clearing the throat of a singing cloud. Everything is normally an event…but this…

JESS:
Not every day is one step out of the ordinary Doctor
THE DOCTOR:
I suppose not, but it must bore you

JESS:
Well that’s why I’ve got you around don’t I?

THE DOCTOR:
And what if you didn’t have me?

JESS:
I’ve thought about that in advance

THE DOCTOR:
Oh have you now?

JESS:
I was thinking of maybe becoming an investigator when I’m older

THE DOCTOR:
Paranormal investigation I hope.

JESS:
I think I’ll settle for the basic cases. I’d like to keep the life we have together exclusive to this portion of my life

[The Doctor hears a beeping sound, he takes out what appears to be a small device]

THE DOCTOR:
Ah, good timing

JESS:
What’s going on?

THE DOCTOR:
Old friend of mine wants me to check in on something for them, come along, and do me a favour when we get there

JESS:
What’s that?

THE DOCTOR:
Don’t look down

[The pair head towards the park]

OPENING TITLES
EXT-PARK-DAY

JESS:
What are we doing here then?

THE DOCTOR:
This is the center of a great web me and my friend set up decades ago

JESS:
And what’s contained in the web?

THE DOCTOR
Souls. And they’re not trapped, they’re lying in wait

JESS:
Lying in wait for what?

THE DOCTOR:
The twin flames of Imax Five, one of the most hospitable races in the universe. They can carry up to two souls per body, the original being the one that brings balance to the ones they adopt.

JESS:
So these souls waiting to be adopted…they come from Earth? Is this web where we go when we die?

THE DOCTOR:
Not exactly, this web preserves all the souls of humanity that were taken as a result of forces engaged in temporal incursions…souls that were never meant to die so early on in their lifetimes.

[Jess looks upset]

THE DOCTOR
Anything the matter?

JESS:
Just thinking about life back home. All the upheaval…I suppose you’re going to tell me all of that is meant to be too?

[The Doctor reacts to a small rumbling noise emitting all around them]

THE DOCTOR:
Jessica, remember what I told you

[Jess tilts her head up]
JESS:
Yeah, yeah, don’t look down, but I can’t help feeling down you know?

THE DOCTOR:
No, no, you must resist this train of thought

JESS:
Why not? I don’t want anything triggering a rejection of the Good Friday accords, imagine if my country was seen as an international threat again…

THE DOCTOR:
Jess, I don’t like giving orders, but you’re really pushing me right now
[There is a loud thunderous crash, similar to that of a lightning strike]

THE DOCTOR:
Jess, please
[Jess turns her back to him, rubbing her eyes gently, then stiffens like a rock before turning back around, her eyes glazed over, trance-like]

JESS:
Jess is not here right now

THE DOCTOR:
To whom am I speaking?

JESS:
You may address me as Rena Maxwell

THE DOCTOR:
I warned her not to look down…as in feel down, I should have been specific about the nature of the souls…they all died feeling negative impulses, things left unfinished, unsaid. Anyone within the surrounding area feeling as badly as Jess did will have become perfect prey for those souls strong enough to reach forth from the Imax web and possess them.

[The Doctor approaches the possessed Jess]

THE DOCTOR
I demand you relinquish control of my companion at once

RENA:
On one condition…I request an audience with Quentin Cade, my partner

THE DOCTOR:
No, I will not permit others to enter this location. This place is protected

RENA:
Then you shall be his host

THE DOCTOR:
And if I refuse?

RENA:
I will take your companion with me in my walk across this world, and you shall never set eyes upon us again

[THE DOCTOR stands before the possessed companion JESS as RENA MAXWELL demands he surrender his own mind to her partner]

RENA MAXWELL:
You are wasting time

THE DOCTOR:
I never waste a moment through time as I walk through it

RENA:
Cease delaying and provide my partner with a vessel

THE DOCTOR:
I can only do that by giving in my own insecurities, my own fears

RENA:
Yes, I can read your companion’s mind…she knows things about you, that you have such hidden fears, you don’t show it, but there is pain in your voice…so much you have suppressed

THE DOCTOR:
No, I will not give in

JESS/RENA:
You must otherwise your companion shall never be with you again…it is the thought of that which drives you to despair now

[The Doctor shakes violently, he puts his hands to his head, he lets out a deafening roar of defiance, and then stiffens. He is ridged, just as Jess was before possession]
JESS/RENA:
Is it done?

[The Doctor’s eyes snap open. He has become possessed by Rena’s partner QUENTIN]
THE DOCTOR/QUENTIN

Rena

RENA
Quentin, it’s you

THE DOCTOR/QUENTIN
This man’s mind resists my own, is this…natural?

JESS/RENA:
It is expected of reluctant hosts, yes.

QUENTIN
What is it you wish of me?

JESS/RENA:
I need to be assured. I am…scared.

THE DOCTOR/QUENTIN
Why? We will have new life on IMAX Five

JESS/RENA:
I know, but it will mean leaving this place behind…friends I’ve known, family I’ve loved

[Jess swiftly takes over again]

JESS
And what of me? I have family too, my sister, friends in my country…I worry for them too

[Jess and Rena argue. Two minds. One body]

JESS/RENA
How are you resisting me?

JESS/RENA
Remember what The Doctor said…don’t look down, don’t feel down. Possession is a two way circus where this is concerned

JESS/RENA
Mind your own business

JESS/RENA
My body, my business
[The Doctor briefly reasserts control]

THE DOCTOR/QUENTIN
That’s it Jess, channel your energies

JESS/RENA
Maybe it’s time you started looking up, see the positives that can come from seeking out new opportunities. Maybe once you adjust, you can visit your family and let them know you’re alright

JESS/RENA
How?

THE DOCTOR/QUENTIN
In dreams. You can bestow upon them an invisible touch…a touch that brings with it hope and clarity. Maybe if you give them instructions to come here, a map fresh in their minds. The web will remember their presence, their connection, and it will gather their souls when the time has come to peacefully loosen from the grip of this mortal coil

JESS/RENA
I have your word on it?

JESS/RENA
Of course, a time lord’s word is his bond.

JESS/RENA
My sins won’t find punishment in due time will they?

THE DOCTOR/QUENTIN
Everyone forgives in time

JESS/RENA
Very well, I shall wait. WE shall wait.

THE DOCTOR/QUENTIN
Yes, we will

[Both The Doctor and Jess shake slightly, then gradually regain their bearings]

THE DOCTOR
Jess, are you ok?

JESS
I feel fine now Doctor, Rena is gone

THE DOCTOR
She and Quentin have returned to the web…come on, it’s best we left

JESS
I’m sorry if I let everything cave in on me earlier Doc

THE DOCTOR
It’s fine…this is how you end the day, with a lesson learned in your life

JESS
Won’t your friend be curious about what happened today?

THE DOCTOR
I think it’s best we leave this little altercation out of my report to her…she doesn’t like ghost stories

JESS
Not a believer in spirits is she? She probably thinks it’s all alien

THE DOCTOR
You’d be surprised at what Sarah Jane Smith believes in

JESS
So long as she believes in you the way I do, we’re fine

END CREDITS

Bob’s Burgers-It’s My Jam [Fanfic]

belchers

 

BOB’S BURGERS
IT’S MY JAM

The dominance of Ga-Ga Ball was over.

Back in vogue were acting like cats across the playground of Wagstaff and sculpting perfectly formed breasts on hedge sculptures.

For one champion of the defunct sport however, falling back into more traditional activities proved weary.

Regular Size Rudy walked over to the basketball court and lay down on the tarmac, staring gently up at the sky, watching them form images that only his mind could perceive.

“Hey Rudester” came a voice from the left of him, Rudy smiled before turning, he knew who it was.

“”I thought you wanted that nickname banned” he said as Louise Belcher lay down next to him

“Hey, that was only so I could have exclusive rights to it, y’know? Besides, that was before you got me to channel my own compeititive spirt and play that game” she said.

“Sorry we were so taken in by it” Rudy continued, “It gave me so much confidence, but it also gave me too big an ego

“And it gave Gene the willes, good thing he convinced us all it was taking away the independence of the playground” Louise said.

“He still working on another hedge sculpture?” Rudy asked.

“He’s trying to give the thing braces now” Louise said.

“Hedge sculpting is great” Rudy replied

“It’s kind of considered vandalism here” Louise added.

“Which is even better” said Rudy, which made Louise laugh.

“So what are you thinking about?” she asked.

“Trying to picture myself in the clouds, slamming an ace dunk across the courtyard” said Rudy.

“Still hung up on your failings at basketball I see” noted Louise.

“That’s my jam Louise, that’s why I felt so empowered by Ga-Ga Ball, the chance for David to slay Goliath. This might sound a tad blasphemous, but being the person I was in that pit made me feel biblical”

“Well, thinking you’re God may be a little lofty, but it’s more preferable than declaring yourself a Phantom Menace, I’m glad you’re working on a page one rebuild of yourself, just don’t make it an Episode I rebuild, you know what I’m saying?” Louise replied.

The pair clutched their hands together and stared long and hard until they saw an image come together as the clouds danced around them.

“That’s a basketball net isn’t it?” said Louise looking at the right set of clouds, before turning and staring to the left of her.

“Wow, is that Michael Jordan? He looks pretty short” Louise observed.

“No, it’s Elmer Fudd. You have seen that movie right?” Rudy replied.

Louise smiled, and tightened her grip on Rudy’s hand.

“You know what the scary part is about you persuading me to play the game? Even when you turn out to be wrong, you’re always able to convince me you’re right”

Rudy turned and gently stroked her face with his right hand.

“This too, is so my jam” Rudy quietly whispered.