Tag Archives: WWE

WWE-I Was Your Man [Fanfiction]

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I Was Your Man

The pyro had went off in Toronto , signalling the end of another night of magic for the stars of World Wrestling Entertainment, and for Seth Rollins, it signalled the climax to a historical and significant evening for him.

He had again slain the beast Brock Lesnar, twice in the same year, to reclaim the Universal title, this match had been more punishing than the prior one they had at Wrestlemania, but Seth didn’t mind, for this bout had been his proving ground. He had firmly demonstrated to those who had doubted him that he was no fluke champion and that no matter how much was thrown at him, he would perceiver.

Awaiting him backstage was his significant other, now the new hero of Canada, Becky Lynch, triumphant in her own gripping match with Natalya Neither. She threw her arms around him as he stepped through the curtain to Gorilla position, smothering his forehead and lips with generous and gentle kisses.

“See what happens when the man has a plan?” Becky said.

“Your advise paid off big time Becks, I can’t imagine how that’d have gone without you putting your mind at work” said Seth.

“Phone call for you Seth” announced a staff member, handing Seth a cell phone

“Just give me one minute Becks, I gotta take this” he said.

“I’d hate for you to keep a man waiting” said Becky.

Seth strolled off to a private corner of the arena and took the call.

“Hey, sound match out there” came a gruff, familiar voice that triggered conflicting emotions within Seth.

“Yeah, well, its two victories more than you’ll ever have against Brock Dean” said Seth.

“It’s Mox, Dean was what the million dollar man bought and paid for, that’s what all those people chanting your name bought, it’s cheap change for me and I ain’t ever cashing my chips here with it” said Mox.

“Come on man, don’t you ever want to remind yourself of the good times? You met Renee when promoted as Dean”

“Don’t bring her into this, Renee knows the real me, and we ain’t concerned about the food on our table”

Seth realised what this was all about.

“Listen, what I say in interviews is what gets me fresh opportunities like the here and now, I’m loyal to this company, you want to go to an untested promotion that everyone proclaims will be the lethal bullet in our backs, that’s your dollar to risk, but so long as you’re taking aim at me, I’m gonna shoot right back”

“Why can’t you ride the roads like Roman does man? He got interviewed a week or so ago, got asked about where he stood with me and he said it was all good. He even defended the company taking advantage of his leukaemia, you think something like that isn’t biting him?”

“Roman leads by example, but the champion always has to have the chip on their shoulder, it’s just what it takes to be the man around here”

“Yeah, and that’s why your man was jerking the curtain tonight wasn’t she?”

“You condescending piece of…” Seth began, but he was quickly cut off by Mox.

“No, no Seth don’t even try to raise your voice to me when everything about it is too faint to hear over where I am. There was a time where I was your man, a proper one, balls hanging low, the works, we had the plan, we took care of each other, we declared everyone around us would taste justice, now you’re willing to burn those roads we ran across as you move forward? Fine, forget who you are Seth, but Roman doesn’t, and I won’t, I’ll bring my brand of justice, kind of like what I’m doing now, all you’ll just bring to the table is the brand. Good little puppy, slay as many beasts as you want, but you’ll never howl quite like a hound again so long as you’re McMahon’s best friend”

The phone line went dead; Seth threw the phone across the room.

Becky noticed him looking gaunt and distant.

“Bad news?” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Just a declaration of war, nothing we can’t handle” he said.

Arm in arm, they walked back to the teeming mass of superstars congratulating themselves over a hard fought evening.

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WWE: Steamed Hams But It’s An In-Ring Promo (fanfiction/parody)

 

WWE:

STEAMED HAMS BUT IT’S AN IN-RING PROMO

ADAPTED FROM “22 SHORT FILMS ABOUT SPRINGFIELD”

“Welcome to the longest running weekly episodic program in television history, this is Monday Night RAW” said Micheal Cole as he opened the latest edition of World Wrestling Entertainment’s

“As you can see, Miz TV is set up in the ring” observed Corey Graves.

“You just know the a-lister has got what’s sure to be a critically acclaimed plan for dealing with Roman Reigns tonight” said Booker T.

The Miz headed to the ring accompanied by his Miztourage. All three of them stepped into the squared circle and welcomed the large capacity crowd to the event.

“Welcome one and all to the most must-see show on any brand, RAW is the home of Miz TV and I have come with a peace offering for Roman Reigns, one might say this will be an unforgettable luncheon” he said, snapping his fingers so as to alert his Miztourage to their next course of action.

They unveiled in the center of the ring a small oven, smoke was slowly pouring out of it.

“Hmm, yes, it’s coming along nicely, you can tangibly taste the smell of that roast cooking in that oven. Yes, succulent delights await Roman when he arrives, or rather if he arrives, I hear he’s taken a slight detour. All the more for us I guess” said The Miz, confident that he would be able to help himself to the meal if Roman couldn’t make it.

Suddenly, Roman Reigns music hit and the crowd came alive.

“The big dog has made it Miz, despite your directions” said Cole on commentary.

Bo Dallas checked the oven and found the chicken was significantly burnt, he relayed this information to his employer.

“What do you mean my roast is ruined?” The Miz whispered back.

Curtis Axel suggested that he head over to a recently reopened fast food joint near the arena so he could purchase something and disguise it as their own cooking.

“Delightfully devilish Axel” The Miz said.

Just as Curtis was about to exit the ring and head towards an exit in the area, Roman stepped into the ring and glared at him.

Miztourage with their crazy explanations

Roman Reigns is gonna need his adulation

When he hears the fans negative reactions

There’ll be trouble in town tonight

“Axel” Reigns yelled as the crowd booed and jeered him.

“You can tell the WWE Universe is having fun” said Cole.

“Oh Roman, I was just stretching my calves on the ring apron, isometric exercise, care to join me?” said Axel, who already had leg positioned on the side of the apron.

Roman noticed the smoldering contents of the oven.

“Why is there smoke coming out of your oven?” he asked.

“Oh, that isn’t smoke, it’s steam, steam from the steamed clams we’re having. Hmm, steamed clams” replied Bo.

Reigns was swiftly distracted by the arrival of Samaoa Joe, who had come to taunt Reigns for losing his Wrestlemania clash with Brock Lesnar.

Curtis seized the opportunity and bolted from the ring and to the fast food joint.

“The only things steaming up in this arena is the heat between you and me Roman. Your failure to conquer the beast only fuels the fire necessary in me to put you out to pasture permanently at Backlash” taunted Joe.

“At Backlash, you’ll find this is still my yard, and this dog still has a lot more bite left in him” promised Roman.

After a few additional back and forth exchanges, each promising to take down the other in an assortment of unpleasant ways, Joe took his leave, Roman turned around to find Curtis had returned

“Roman, I hope you’re ready for mouth watering hamburgers” said Curtis, holding a stunning dish serving the meal.

“What are you feeding me here? I thought you said we were having steamed clams?” said Roman

“No, no, we said steamed HAMS. That’s what we call hamburgers” said Bo with a swift and assuring confidence.

“You call hamburgers steamed hams?” said Roman, clearly not buying it.

“Yes. It’s a regional dialect” said Bo

“Uh-huh… uh, what region?” said Roman.

“Uhh… upstate Florida?” Curtis said.

“Really? Well, I’m from Pensacola, and I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase “steamed hams.”

“Oh, not in Florida, no. It’s an Albany expression” remarked Bo

Roman nodded in agreement I see.

Roman took a handful of the burgers from the plate. The Miz quietly hid the burning oven beneath the ring while he was distracted. The Miztourage joined in on eating the burgers.

“You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they used to have at The World” said Roman

“Oh ho ho ho… no, patented Miztourage burgers. Old family recipe” assured Curtis

“For steamed hams?” Roman asked.

“Yes” Bo replied

“Yeah, so you call them “steamed hams” despite the fact they are obviously grilled” said Roman.

Bo suddenly noticed the smoke was starting to intensify beneath the ring.

“Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second” he said, clambering out of the ring and conversing with The Miz as they checked under the ring. Bo stepped back into the ring stretching his arms. The Miz whispered instructions to Curtis.

“Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I’m pooped” Bo said.

“Yeah, if you think this is going to pacify me after the way you cheated me out of the intercontinental title, you’re very mistaken. It’s payback time” said Roman, pumping up his fist for a swift superman punch.

Suddenly, he noticed the smoke rising from the ring.

“Just what is happening down there” he said.

“Aurora borealis?” said The Miz.

The crowd booed.

“Uh- aurora borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely beneath the ring?” barked Roman.

“Yes” said The Miz

“May I see it?” Roman asked.

“No” said The Miz.

“This house is on fire” said Cole as the crowd broke into a “Miztourage” chant.

“No Micheal, it’s just the northern lights” joked Graves.

“Quiet, quiet, when my hand goes up, your mouth goes shut” said The Miz as he raised his arm to silence the audience

“Well Miztourage, you are odd fellows, I must say you steam a good ham…but I throw a good haymaker” said Roman, and took out the entire group with a barrage of superman punches and spears, all as the crowed jeered him, rejecting the latest attempt of getting him over.