I LOVE BISCUITS
(Contains spoilers for 11×06 “Demons of the Punjab”)
The Doctor checked the systems of the TARDIS again, perplexed by the latest problem.
Her biscuit dispenser was broken.
She turned and twisted the knobs, switched some levers around, and pressed her foot down hard on the pedals, but she couldn’t produce one solitary custard cream.
She took out a sturdy wrench from a kit bag and took the apparatus apart, the first time she’d even tried to manually tamper with the dispenser since the TARDIS unveiled it to her upon rediscovering her ship.
She was sure the sexy thing wouldn’t approve much, she never liked to be mended, she rebelled at every instance of tampering, she’d sometimes land on the wrong planet or travel to an even farther off galaxy just to spite whoever thought perfection needed perfecting.
The Doctor wasn’t about to let the ship make her mind up for her, she was famished after that harrowing experience in India, she’d even put in a request for something to nibble when she was there setting up her apparatus.
The TARDIS let out a hefty wheeze and a groan as The Doctor took the dispenser apart piece by piece, turned the components around, and tried rearranging them in a different way.
With the new configuration complete, The Doctor operated the console once again and waited for the results.
She seemed to have made progress, only the biscuits were now coming out in crumbs, they were reduced practically to whole-wheat sawdust.
Graham wandered into the TARDIS carrying a large tin jar.
“Hey there Doc, thought I’d come and see ya” Graham said as he greeted her.
“Oh don’t bother me now Graham, I’ve got a hankering for a hob knob” she said, kicking the console in frustration.
“Well then you’re in luck, you know how you said you loved biscuit? I thought I’d give you a crack at my selection tin here” he said.
The Doctor swiftly turned around and feverishly opened the lid, revealing handfuls of chocolate biscuits.
“May time stand still, are those white chocolate?” she asked.
Graham nodded enthusiastically.
The Doctor plunged her hand into the biscuit tin and tore a portion of the biscuit off in her mouth.
“Can’t get enough of white chocolate digestives, rarest of the rare, they’re like edible stardust to me” she said.
“See, I do listen, now never ask me to pick up chicken poo again” Graham joked, placing his own hand into the tin just as The Doctor did. By chance, their hands graced the exact same biscuit and they found themselves staring with warm and wise eyes as they each considered handing the biscuit to the other.
“I think it’d be best if we parted ways on this one” said Graham.
The Doctor nodded as her cheeks glowed red.
“Yeah, divide and conquers the motto we’ll use here” she said, a blossoming smile etched on her face.
“Between you and me, this may be the one time in my life I’m glad things fall to pieces”
With a little bit of a pull, the two split the biscuit in half and place each of the portion they held in their hands into the mouth of the other.